AHhhh, So this is how they see me....

	what signals do you send to guys? You Can Talk to Me Slow down and ease into this situation. You don't know enough about where your guy stands to judge your chances of scoring him as a prom date, so if you're nervous, feel the situation out before you ask. Try to spend time alone with him, or pay more attention to how he treats you. Check in with mutual friends to see if he already has a date in mind, and consider whether he's the right guy for you. If you're still not sure whether he'll accept, but you're sure you want to be his date, then go for it -- you have nothing to lose!

Is this True?Arrrgggg?!?!

	how do guys see you? Too-Good-To-Be-True You're the girl that every guy wants, but thinks he can't have. You have such a confident way about you -- and it's a major turn-on to guys. But sometimes, because of your secure stature, guys have a hard time approaching you. They either think you're not interested or they're scared of being rejected by someone so amazing. There's nothing wrong with a flip of the hair or a wink of an eye every now and again, but make sure you're doing it in a way that assures them you want to be approached--because we know you do.

Figures why I'm still SINGLE!

	are you a good flirt? Flirt Flop Patience is a virtue, girl, but sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands. Even though most of your friends have no problem approaching guys, you're an old-fashioned girl who believes boys should make the first move. You may admire the way your dad courted your mom, but it's the 21st century. In order to get what (and who!) you want, you need to speak up and send out some flirtacious vibes. Putting a little extra effort into your wardrobe wouldn't hurt either--it doesn't have to be a special occasion to wear a skirt or strappy sandals. Go for it!

O love is the crooked thing

Brown Penny©William Butler Yeats


I whispered, ‘I am too young,’
And then, ‘I am old enough’;
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
‘Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.’
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.


O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.

From: The Green Helmet and Other Poems - 1910

Copyright©2006a creative pen
Brisbane, Australia

This poetry is read from the movie:




I really liked the poem...Don't know why...hehehe....YOu should watch it though its a nice movie...Very hopefull!

Drunk Driving and why I don't patronize alcohol!

My grandmother got the surprise of her life yesterday when instead of seeing my cousing PIng arriving at the airport, she saw her eldest daughter, Linda, yes that's my aunt, walking towards the exit door. She was so astounded at the very thought that she was fooled by everybody and that she was the only one who didn't know about it. But then she forgot that she was mad when my aunt and her husband, Uncle Gerry, told my grandma, "We're here for your birthday, mom!"


And so the drinking sessions began. Two ice box containing, ice and of course, the one and the only drink that my family prefers, REdHorse! Two huge bottles of tequila, vodka and gin are ready for consumption. When I arrived at my Grandma's place, my aunt was still taking a nap so I ate spring rolls because my stomach was grumbling. I kinda forgot that my last meal was at 730 in the morning.


Then out came my aunt!wow a hug really feels good especially if its coming from a relative or a friend you really missed. Then my Uncle started making margaruitas. He joked if I was old enough to drink and inquired if I was driving. Of course I won't drive. First, I don't have my license yet. Yes I know its shame on me coz I am already 22 years old and I still don't have a license. But then even if I had a license, my father would not permit me to drive.


So here's where the fun part begins...

My Uncle Marlon and my Aunt Linda had a huge argument over this:

You'd have a pretty much bigger chance to evade an accident if you have a very nice car: e.g. the new model of BMW, which is the current car of my aunt.

Uncle Marlon's argument:

Because you have good stirring and good breaks and better protection if you had a nice car, then you'd probably be able to prevent an accident. That is if you can see it coming though. What he was driving at is the fact that my aunt, whose also a very good drinker, drives a BMW and doesn't receive a single scratch because her car is nice.


Aunt Linda's arguement:

Its pretty simple though, regardless of what type and brand of car you have, if you are a reckless driver, drunk at that, if you get into an accident, you won't be able to evade it. YOu cannot always anticipate what would happen next. It all boils down to your attitude on the road.


So, who's right and who's not?

TO HELP YOU ON THE ANALYSIS:


On our way home, my kinda tipsy dad was taking the wheel. Its always like this when we come home from my grandma's place. My mom kept on tugging at my dad's shirt to try to lessen his speed or would suddenly say, hey be careful coz there are people standing at the sidewalk. Sometimes they would end up arguing over my father's driving and his drunkness.

I really, really hate this scene. It always makes my heart beat faster than the usual. I have my hand ready to pull the emergency breaks. This is the reason why I wanted to drive. So that when my dad gets awfully drunk, I'd be happy to drive my family home.

This is the reason why as much as possible I wanted to burn the factories that produce beer and other alcoholic drinks. I know I'm a hypocrite because I myself would drink. It runs in the family. But I don't drink much. Just a glass or two. But I wanted so much for my father to quit drinking and smoking. He's not only trying to slowly kill himself but he's also trying to kill me and my family...

So that's my lifelong dilemma, don't cry over that...

I am still grateful to have him as my father...Grateful to have this family...

No family is perfect, we have secrets, and I'm spilling mine!

2 more days...

Two more days and my aunt will be arriving
Two more days and we'll be rejoicing
Two more days and I'll be drinking
a whole lotta beer and margaruita making...

Been having this whirlwind experience for the past 4 days. And I couldn't quite make out what I will do with the situation.


A guy is trying to ask me out although I'm not quite sure if he is or what his intentions are. I'd like to hang out with him and get to know him coz he seems quite interesting but I'm kept on the hanging here...He didn't text me anymore...hehe...

Next is that his(my HT's) sister and I are already friends. She told me a couple of things and I think she's trying to have me spill out all my emotions about his brother. Its really sweet of her to try to investigate about who I really am. I'm just so frightened at the thought that maybe because of this new found friendship between me and his sister, he would find out that I do feel something for him. I didn't actually tell her that I do like his brother. But I think she suspects that I do. For one thing, it was twice that when I called his house, she was the one to pick up the phone. She's quite a tease like her brother...She says it runs in the family.

I don't know if I could face him after this knowing that he doesn't know about his sister and me being textmates. I might have to tell him...HONESTY still...

It's going to be my grandmother's birthday next Friday and we're going to have a party. Yep my aunt whom I was named after: Linda, is coming home for my Lola's birthday. I'm having second thoughts on inviting some people. Or maybe I will...I've already invited Ian and hopefully Louise would be there also...=) and the other person I wish to invite...

I'm sure we'll be having so much fun and we'll be going to the beach...yepee...

Anyway, as what Trisha said to me: KEEP ME POSTED! =)

Reverse Analogy on the Word He Spoke to Me!

I’ve known her since we were kids
No, we were not playmates
Our parents don’t hang out
But I knew her
We live different lives
We had different dreams
When we are the peak of our lives
I fell down
She was there to help me get up
She was my shock absorber
A listening ear
A shoulder to lean on
A friend
As time pass by we spend time
More time talking than the usual
But she was still my friend
We have formed this bond
She supports my decisions
She appreciates my music
But she also straightens me out
But she is still my friend
Then I realized,
Setting assumption aside
That she’s falling
That scared me to death
I don’t need a lover right now
I’m happy with a friend
She’s like my sister
And so how can I reverse the spell
Of her living the fantasy land
That would never exist
That I would not permit to exist
I cannot bring myself to hurt her
Fore she’s become family to me
But once again I don’t need a lover
All I need is a friend
And I already have that in her…

Sedated

Its pure magic how a person can make me feel
I'm easy to please I know
But letting the happiness last for days is something else
I know it was just a simple conversation of friends
but it made me happy
it made me float
I am contented
Its a rare feeling
guiltless happiness plus contentment
I hope it happens again
soon....

A walk to remember...

Okay so I haven't had enough of him Friday night and so we decided to walk together to Deanne's house yesterday because instead of us meeting Deanne in Ayala he said he'll be late so we went right away to Elizabeth pond and ended up lost coz I already forgot how to get to Deanne's house...How stupid right? well, eventually Deanne met up with us on the way to their house.


Before we started working on the yearbook, Deanne's dad hooked us up to watching Into the Blue starring Paul Walker and Jessica Alba. What a team up right? I was so astounded at how good Jessica's body is. And I thought, would it be possible to have that flat abs? Could be...If I have the determination and the self discipline... I'd have to go on a diet, which currently is not on my top things to do and do some rigid exercise to tone down my body fats...hehe...Would he like me then? If I had a well toned body? nah...

So why is this article entitled A WALK TO REMEMBER?

Nope, I'm not referring to the movie. I'm referring the walk we had on our way home. We walked from Deanne's house to Asilo dela Milagrosa Chapel. If you're living in Cebu and is quite familiar with the place, you'll probably have an idea how far we walked. Putting my health problems aside, coz I've had a hard time breathing lately when I go on long walks, I walked with him all the way since he was going to Ayala to meet up with his sister there. We had our usual conversation. He told me that this is what he likes. Going on long walks and just talking. He says he enjoys it very much. I told him about my vacation with my family and on how we went to Dumaguete from Santander just to buy groceries for my birthday. He pointed out a tower and said that he went there for a double date with his sister when he and his ex were still together. Then he said, maybe someday we'd go there. Add to the list of things to do, he says. Coz you see, me and my friends made a list of all the things we'd like to do. (to be posted on the next blog) He asked me for my day offs and said he'll try to lend the car from his dad so that we could go to Mt.View. Told him we should go coz I haven't been there before and he said he'll try.

In this scenario, we didn't hold hands. He puts his arm around me when we try to cross the street while switching himself to the danger side of the road but aside from that, there was no physical interaction. But I was having so much fun. We kept on laughing on our own silly jokes and seems like we had our own world. You know, with him aside from feeling safe and happy, I also learn a lot not just about him but more so about ME.

I told him, I just realized that I'm totally free of worries right now. That if I don't think too much, I'm happy and contented. And part of the reason for this is that I am with him.

And I've realized that with all my guy friends its with him that I'd spent so much time talking and hanging out, just the two of us. I'm not sure if all those times we dined out are taken as dates but its really more than twice already.

But when I went home, rather went to my grandma's house, he didn't text to check if I really arrived there. Oh well...That's when my dilemma comes in...That's what makes me even more confused.

Totally like pride and prejudice: give in and then take it back...


Here are the pics from Ian's phone during his gig in Handuraw!












































So to end this post, I'd say every single walk I had with him was something I do cherish and remember. And I am grateful for the walks and the talk... Even if there won't be US...As long as he's there beside me, I know I'll be safe...

Blown Away!

We went to Handuraw last night to watch his band’s gig. He kept on inviting us and we, Ian and I decided its about time to surprise him and eventually went to see his band play. Louise and Filden went with us. We first had dinner in Ayala and then off to Handuraw. It was so funny coz we were the first ones to arrive. We ate again...Their pizza is yummy. Then he arrived...my my... Am I glad to see his smiling face. It wasn’t a surprise after all because he already knew we were coming. Ian had to tell him coz we weren’t sure where their gig would be first because they had 2 gigs in a night...Wow, talk about in demand!

You see, in the past, I have this knack of getting involved with guys who are in a band. To be specific, lead guitar players. I don’t know, I just find them fascinating and maybe because I am a musician myself that I opt for guys who are also musically inclined. And so anyway, after several heartaches over guitarists, I swore them off. I remembered telling my friend Rhocela when we were walking in Ngee Ann Mall in Singapore, “Rhoce, I’ve had enough of guitar players! I’ll try not to get involved with one anymore!” And so now, I’m falling for a drummer...hehe...

But he does know how to play the guitar but his craft is basically drums...


And last night, I was literally BLOWN AWAY! I don’t know if it was me or the air conditioning, but I was actually shivering or shaking or whatever, when he hit the drums to start the song... He’s really good...As in very good at his craft. He’s got the talent, the skills and the ear for this. To think he doesn’t own a drumset. I mean, wow! I don’t usually talk about how impressed I am with a person’s talent when it comes to music but I cannot stop myself from bragging about his talent. I’m really proud to be his friend. He even introduced us to the drummer of Sheila and the Insects, Janus! I’m not so sure of his name, but this guy won an award for being one of the legendary drummers here in Cebu!

I remembered this song:

I’m so high I could hear heaven... – Nickelback, Hero

I was so high last night...That once again I fell...Fell so hard...

And here I am, I thought I’d be able to control this feeling but once again I’m overpowered. I don’t know what’s driving this sensation of longing...And to think I know it wouldn’t go anywhere since he doesn’t have a clue.

I hope I could:

Conjure up the will to tell you how I feel...

I hope I could go out every Friday just to watch them play. But I don’t have that freedom and the luxury...

Well the good thing is that we’ll be working full blow on our yearbook and we’re both on the committee, so I think I’ll still be seeing more of him.

Anyway, to Nikko:

You’re beautiful inside and out. Please believe that coz I do. For what its worth, no matter what other people say about you, you’re the most real and trustworthy person I’ve known in CallTek!

MUSIC:

If you have the chance, do listen to:

The Spirals, Idle and Coheed and Cambria

The Fourth Of July

Its a holiday in the States right now and since yesterday, we're receiving less calls. I mean yesterday, the entire 8 hours that I was on the floor, I only received 5 calls. One of which is the guest I was talking to earlier wherein I had to forward the issue to Level 2 because I knew I did everything except flushing our own firewall. And eventually Brandy did flush the firewall but the guest still wasn't able to connect. I had a feeling that it was her browser because, when I tried to assign her a proxy server, we couldn't open her internet options for her Internet Explorer. She's really nice and patient and with our conversation, I learned that she was a professor in University of California in Irvine. The issue reached our Network Operations Center and went back to level2. Unfortunately, that issue was unresolved because she still wasn't able to pull up a webpage.


And so now I have plenty of time to blog...


Anyway enough about work...



I went to the doctor again because my mom wants me to go. I recently had shortness of breathe. And it kinda started when I began using the Flixotide nasal spray. I read my brother's PIMs to look for adverse effects and it doesn't complicated asthma but cure it. The doctor said that its an anti-allergy meds and it shouldn't be a cause of the my breathing problems. So she had me go to another doctor which I then realized was a cardiovascular resident. He checked my blood pressure and he said it was normal, listened to my lungs and said it was clear and finally listened to my heart and he said he didn't hear any wheezing sound. He said he didn't see anything wrong with me. He said maybe its just an effect of the nasal spray and that it would somehow be gone when I end my medication by next month. He also requested to have my heart undergo 2 DECHO doppler, in other words ultrasound of the heart. I went back to my original doctor to get an approval of the 2 DECHO and she said I'll just call the secretary today because she still needs to check since the exam would cost P2,500 and our medicard only caters upto P1,000.

I realized in spite of having sat in the doctor's office for about an hour and a half just waiting for the doctor to be in, didn't put me in a bad mood. I mean, there are times, well most of the time, I don't mind waiting. I mean if you think about it, if you're the one who needs something, then it shouldn't be problem to wait. Me? If I badly needed it, I would not mind waiting up to 2 hours. My eyes would barely open while waiting. Good thing, 3 of my officemates were there. We chatted fot quite sometimes up until I had to get inside the doctor's office.

The first jeepney ride home (coz I had to take 2 jeepneys) was even more interesting when I saw my Tita Rena (my ex's mom). She was looking fabulous as ever, with her beautiful smile and enchanting aura. She was with her youngest, AJ whom I haven't seen for 3 years now. All her kids are handsome and pretty. She said Kane (my ex) already has 2 kids. And he's going to school now taking up food technology. Tita said he's going to teach after a year. Wow, Kane the once so disturbed boy suddenly turned father is now planning to teach. I sat there for a minute or two, silently imagining Kane teaching. Then I told Tita, "So Kane finally found what his interests lie!" And she laughed and said "Yes, thank God!". As far as I could remember Kane, aside from the good looks and notorious reputation, he was a good friend of mine. We were playmates turned enemies. The next summer we realized we liked each other and the summer after that I broke off with him coz he was seeing another girl (nope not the mother of his kids). It took me almost 1 year and a half to get over him and finally moved on to liking another guy. It was kid stuff. I was taken by the tingles when he held my hand or kissed my cheek during the 18th birthday of my cousin. When I graduated high school and started going to USC-TC, I realized I was better off with out him. HE WAS NOT MY DESTINY!

I said goodbye to my Tita coz they had to get off before USC-main. They moved again. Its like the 3rd time they moved to a different house. Well anyway, I wished her well and she told me to pray for her. She has cancer and is going on herbal medications.

I was glad to have met them and even blessed that she still remembers me...

What's on my mind right now?









Its blank...I don't know why! I'm still waiting for a call...

Post Mortem Analysis of the Subconscious

I'm once again moved by my friend's views on my dream. Here's what Doctor Doyle thinks of my dream:

doyle says:
you posted your dream twice van
doyle says:
hehe
doyle says:
i think it dus not mean anything
doyle says:
we dream of sumthing smtyms cz we think of it or we hope for it to happen pro lain lng inig interpret sa dreams..
doyle says:
i think imu dream means that u became angry wd ur crush cz he dznt sim to notice u more than a friend cz naa xay lain na gnhn pero nag hope ka na mas happy xa wd you..mau na naay sadness sa iya eyes..
doyle says:
then katu si nico, is dznt necesarily mean na xa jd tu..it means na u want to find a person na comfortable ka..
doyle says:
imu dream k simple rmn, its the cycle of love...there's pain, then jpy
doyle says:
joy^
doyle says:

and guess what on that day we saw each other...when we were having our planned dinner with the Ball-Manipulators, we sat beside each other. And we were laughing and talked and reminisce on our past dilemmas on our thesis.

And I enjoyed the night, beginning with an afternoon with our team's socialization. And guess what I felt so lucky to be included in Kate's team. I mean, I'm sure I will learn a lot and I now appreciate the monitoring that Kate does on my work. She just wants me to improve and excell in my field of work.

Well back to the dinner: he invited us to his gig this coming Friday in Kahayag. I want to go to support him. And Louise and Ian also wanted to go to support him like I do. and Louise and I decided to go and made plans. We'll have to do some chores though so that our parents will let us go out on a Friday night. hehehehe...

anyway, here are some of our pics...


Team Socialization at Don Henrico's


Partial Ball-Manipulator's Dinner at Golden Cowrie

















Ball-Manipulators minus Alain and Cathy with Daddy Luis and Mommy Janice


Okay that's all for my Saturday agenda...I'll keep you posted with my crazy life...
chow!

I had a weird dream: is this a sign???

Dreams are supposed to mean something; like if you are subconsciously thinking about that person or if something bad or good will happen to you. Right?


But with my dream, I don't know if already happened or it will serve as a warning that it may happen.


MY DREAM:
Location: my old high school USC-GHS pentagon
Characters: My crush, his ex and this guy I knew from elementary: NICO


The Scene:
I was roaming around the pentagon coz its seems that they were having a fair, maybe it was intramurals or something. Well anyway, I was looking at trinkets on this certain booth and suddenly my crush's ex girlfriend was standing beside. She was talking to her friends who were around us that time. I couldn't quite get what they were talking about but I kept on looking at her.


Then I walked away, going to a different booth. Then I saw him, my crush, sitting on one of those square plant box near the 4th grader's comfort room. He was also surrounded by his friends. Then he saw me. He looked at me with those sad eyes. Then suddenly his ex was coming up to him then sat on his lap. She was like cuddling him and he on the other hand looked very confused. He then reached out his hand to me. Something like he wanted me to go over there to free him from the bondage of his ex.


But at that moment, the loathing I felt overcame my likeness for him. I do wanted to go and save him and pull him away but then my pride and anger forced me to turn my back and walk away.


With a gloomy face and a sad heart, I kept on walking around until someone called out my name. And when I turned to look and see who it was, it was Nico. We then talked like we always do when we meet and then suddenly he asked if I would like to leave the school and go somewhere else. Surprisingly, I felt really safe with him and that I'd like to go somewhere else with him. He then held out his and I took it. I really liked holding his hand and we were walking towards the exit gate...


Then the alarm on my cellphone went off and I woke up from my dream.


ANALYSIS:
What I was wondering is that why I was dreaming of:

1.) my crush - I wasn't thinking of him when I fell asleep but well, he was the last one I received a text from. We were trying to plan a going away dinner for our friend tonight. What bother's me is I am certain that I'm not that crazy about him anymore. I mean the feeling is still there but I'm now singing "I'M ALMOST OVER YOU..."hehehe...well anyway...

2.)his ex gf - now that is freaky! I mean, I know we used to say hi and hello to each other coz she was like part of our batch but then when they broke up and she kept on seeing us together, I don't know maybe we're not friends anymore. I was reading her blogs in friendster lately and she seemed really sad and depressed. But I know she will be okay, I hope she will.

----maybe they will eventually get back together----
I mean I know that he told me that he finally decided to let her go but then who knows, maybe its just for the meantime that he thinks its finally going to end. Coz I know that he still likes her a lot.


But my question is: WHAT DOES THEIR RELATIONSHIP HAVE TO DO WITH ME???

3.)Nico - I haven't seen him since March? Now why all of a sudden he's in my dreams? I'm certain that I don't feel anything for the guy because he's not even in my circle of friends.

Finally, maybe its just nothing. A small figment of my subconscious imagination. IT DOES NOT MEAN ANYTHING....Yet....hehehe...




I really like this band... and I would like to dedicate the song: 3 Libras to my beloved crush!hehehehe

chill guyz and have a great weekend!

Thoughts from Casanova and Francesca

Be the Flame, not the Moth...
-Casanova

Okay maybe this line will apply to me. I remember my close friend Benny telling me that a person who's wanted by someone will most likely be wanted also by a lot of different people. His point was, who wants a person who is not wanted??? But then is it really possible for me to be the FLAME? coz for the past couple of years, I have to admit, I have been the MOTH! The moth to weird guys who have a weird hobby of playing music. hehehe...

Love is not does grow with the number of lovers but will fade away.
-Francesca

I won't be able to attest or defy this for one reason and one reason only. I don't have that much experience yet of being a lover and collecting lovers. I know... In my 22 years of experience, never have been in a serious or non serious relationship.

we're going to have our language training...
to be continued....

Bonding with DAD!

Last night I talked my father into watching a movie with me. Why only my dad? Well because my mom wants to continue reading her novel and my brother is studying...It pays to already be graduate because I was stripped of the part where I had to study for a test. All I have to do is finish my household chores and I can relax after.

Well anyway, I picked out this really cool flick from Video City. Its actually Chinese with an English dubbing. The story line was a typical story but I was really satisfied with the action packed scenes of kung fu and martial arts. And the guy was cute so basically I enjoyed the movie.



But really I was more thankful that me and my dad have a lot more conversations, a lot more moments to bond as father and daughter. We don't usually talk that much but now, he asks for my opinion.
I think it started when my mom left for Tacloban to take care of my dying grand mother. I was running the household and me and my dad were together all the time. He smokes less now and even goes out of the house to smoke unlike before I had to tell him to smoke outside because I cannot breathe anymore.

I'm really happy with my family right now.

As for that guy who stole my heart
please return it back to me
don't be afraid to admit that you feel nothing for me
because I cannot wait forever
for you to be able to tell me to my face
the truth of how you feel.

Remember what I told you
that I value honesty
And it would be better to hurt the person just one time
and tell that person what is true
rather than punish that person
and having that person wait in vain

I'll be doing a volunteer work in the office by giving my spare time encoding data. Well at least we'll be paid even if its just a small incentive but its additional income for me.

I am really satisfied and happy with my work, my team and the company. I am learning more and everyday, I look forward to answering every guests questions and be more challenged with their personality.

Anyway, I'll try not to flood this blog. Its quite long already.

Take care all and God bless.

Taureans' Horoscope for the day:

Take heart! If you've been feeling unfocused or underwhelmed in the recent past, the stars send you something or someone compelling enough to perk up your interest. You might even be intrigued enough to chase 'em.

I thought I would forget

At the end of the day
My face lights up
As I leave with the people that I felt safe with
I then contemplate on my day
And on those moments I laughed and joked around
I was not thinking of you
I was not even thinking even when my mind went blank
When the gush of wind blew my unruly hair
When the ride drove me to safety
And then just thinking that I was successful
In forgetting you for a day
I then laughed to myself
Here I go again
Like a merry-go-round
Admitting that I was not thinking
But actually you just crossed my mind
It was just that I was not aware
And it led me back to the beginning of things
You. The problem, your heartache, my pain.
The conversation, my laughter, your jokes.
Our stories.
And I remember always.
When there were just the two of us
And all that mattered are the words we've spoken
The songs we've sang
And the time we've spent
Holding to each other's strength
To keep ourselves sane.
I do remember. Always. I won't forget.
Even if its not meant to be...
YOu and me..

When it rains it pours...

It has been one week and 4 days since my grandmother died and 6 days since her very dramatic funeral. She was a strong-willed woman who had her fair share of laughter and tears. But the only inheritance she left for me were her words...Words of wisdom and faith, words which is painful for her children that they didn't bother to share it to their kids. I told my mom, maybe my grandmother's message was not only for them but also for us. Anyway, God bless her soul...

I remember LEXIE asking me: DO YOU FEEL THAT HE LIKES YOU? DO YOU KNOW IF HE CARES?

And I was like: Yeah he does!!!!

Yesterday I went out with my groupie in college. I thought at first it would be a girls day out but then Louise asked if Ian (her boyfriend) and one of my best buds, could tag along because they won't see each other this weekend. Engr. Wilfrid Ian Tan is already one of the faculty members of the Computer Engineering Department of the University of San carlos Technological Center and the faculty are having their team building in Panglao Bohol as this article is written.

We talked about a lot of stuff but mostly about what we did in the past and how much our lives changed since the day of our graduation...

Cathy said we must learn to adapt to the changes and I agreed with her 100%! I mean living life means going with the flow of change. We must learn to find ways to survive and keep up with each other's lives. Cathy's going to Qatar and be a flight attendant. We won't probably see each other for 1 or 2 years. But then I told her, we can always communicate through emails or friendster. I told her, when she gets back we're gonna go to Camiguin and have our vacation there.

Then suddenly I received a text message from my long lost sister: Leslie. She said her boyfriend is going to work in Manila while she'll be stuck here in Cebu. I felt completely sad because it seems that a lot of people are leaving the city to explore their career somewhere else. I felt sad for my sis coz I know that she's used to having her beau around and all but I think she will have to choose to survive this. It would probably do her good considering the fact that she became so dependent on the guy ever since they became a couple. She used to be self-reliant and very independent individual. Now, it seems that she can't live with out him around. Well I hope she's doing okay now. I'll try to hangout with her next week.

During the taxi ride to my Lola's place I realized something:

TO: That guy

Your wounds stopped bleeding
And its now starting to heal
For there's no use for a gauze dressing anymore.
The tears had dried up already
and the poor wounded soul can now once again stand up and say
I am ready to face the world.
My mission has ended...
Should I say I love you then goodbye?

From: This girl

The only way that I could probably tell him how I really feel is for me to say goodbye. And for that to happen is for me to leave this place and go off to a different country where no one knows who I am. And since I think I'll still be stuck here in Cebu for the next 5 years, then I'll keep my silence in bitter tears...

Oh well, from now on I will stop hoping for that magic to happen coz it tires me out!
I can barely breathe with everything else around me happening in less than a speed of sound...

Back to LEXIE'S question...

As of today my answer is: I'm not sure anymore whether he does care or not!!!:(

LOOKING FOR Vanessa!

Lately I've realized that there are still certain aspects that I have that gravely surprises me. I mean I know I've told myself to stop acting on impulse to get myself out of trouble but then there are just those instances wherein, heck, my mind doesn't seem to work and I act right away!

So these are the things I'm trying not to do:

1.)Hold his hand while we are walking
2.)Text him
3.)Call him
4.)Eat icecream or chocolate
5.)Eat Sbarro
6.)check my friendster everyday
7.)think of other people's opinion of ME
8.)day dream
9.)Sleep in the jeepney on the way home
10.) watch too many movies

and so far I'm successful with 1, 3, 5 and 10...the rest, I don't know...hehe...

Yesterday got a good head-knocking from my GYBF(guy bestfriend) Doyle. It was one of those moments when he's the only one that made sense in all the sea of friends I have...If you have read the tags posted on my tagboard doctor Doyle posted something like "you miss you" and when we were chatting during work, I asked if the message was intended for me. He said yes and that I should not be thinking of pleasing other people. I mean don't get me wrong but I'm not trying to please everybody else its just sometimes, I worry myself of what other people are thinking about me. I know, I know... I should not do that to myself! I mean I was sure I know me already. But it doesn't mean that there is no room for improvements right? I mean I have to admit that there are still those tiny bad habbits that always get in the way of somebody else. But for arguments sake, fine I would try to think less of other people's opinion of me and do my own thing in my own terms as long as I won't be hurting somebody else along the way.

I have read Ipay's email and the message sent was:

Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference..

So its not enough for me to say I did my best but also be able to know when to put in extra effort and when not to...

my horoscope for today:

Are you open-minded enough to accept the truth, or are you stubbornly insisting on your way in the face of all the facts? Make things easier on yourself and go for the first option. Let old expectations go.

How perfect, right?hehe...

I'll be leaving for Tacloban today at 4pm and be back hopefully tomorrow evening. I am happy to go there and meet up with my mom's side of relatives but then still sad to note that we only get together if somebody dies. REALITY BITES!

chill for now!

Random Quiz: by Seventeen.com

Are you ready for a serious relationship?
FULLY COMMITTED!
You're tired of flings and flirtations--you want the real deal! You'd rather work on developing an intense connection with one special person than waste your time with a bunch of different prospects. If you can find a guy that lives up to your expectations, you're ready to commit!




What signals are you sending guys?
The signal you sent is "YOU CAN TALK TO ME"
Your social grace and friendly personality make it relatively easy for guys to approach you. Even if you aren't interested in pursuing more than friendships with the guys you meet, you still treat them with respect—and they appreciate it. Just remember not to overdo it—or some guys may misinterpret your friendliness for something deeper.



Are you unforgettable?
MOST MEMORABLE
For the most part, you make a lasting impression on those you meet. Once in a while, you may act too shy (or come on too strong), but usually you strike the perfect balance between the two. You're not afraid to stand out from the crowd when it really counts—like when you're trying out for a sport or on a job interview. In new social situations, you actively participate in the conversation, giving information about yourself but also asking questions. You're smart enough to know that a big part of being memorable is remembering others. Congratulations!

So if you want to take the quiz, just visit: www.seventeen.com!

By the way, please pray for the soul of my grandmother. She died yesterday morning at age 89! I will surely miss her...

Gone are the days when we sit and talk
Gone are the laughter that brights up the room
Gone is the mentor that taught me about life
What remains is her memory
And it will be kept in my heart
And will forever be hidden there...
To: Mercedes Sabarre-Singson Granados

ILLUSIONS

I had a weird morning...

I woke up thinking that it is already 4:45 am. So I pushed myself out of bed and took a bath...I was kinda shocked why my cellphone's alarm didn't go off at 4:30 am. I finished putting some clothes on, combed my very wet hair and went to the living room and expected to see that it was already 5:15am. Well guess what it was just 3:15am...I was like 2 hours early to go to work. I double checked coz may be the clock in the living room's not working again so I looked at my cellphone and it was really just 3:15am! Ohhh...I was appalled. did it mean that I was sleep walking or that I was just dreaming...I went back to sleep in the coach.

I miss him
I miss his presence beside me
I miss the sound of his laughter
I miss the look on his face when he tries to express how he feels about something
I miss our walks and when his hand brushes on mine
I miss the smell of his perfume
I miss our conversations
I miss his teasing me
I miss our arguments
I just miss him terribly...
bottom line: I'm going crazy!

I really like this actress:



This is Keira Knightly. She's such a versatile actress, she speaks well and she's really pretty...

well, its going to be my day off tomorrow and monday! And I don't have plans yet. so if you want to go out, just give me a ring!

chill!

My CallTek Family

I have been on the floor since May 25, 2006 and so far in spite of the few irate callers, I'm quite loving my job.Why?

*The mere thought of being able to be of help to someone brightens up my day.

*I already feel the sense of belongingness with my team.

*According to my Team leader:Kate, don't limit yourself with the designation that you have right now, learn more and explore all the possibilities.

*Every time the phone rings its like swimming into the unknown and finding out that there is a treasure to be found and that is knowledge beyond the unknown.

*I am now able to help my family, paid for my brother's tuition fee and bought some things of my own.

*I have found new friends, friends whom I feel will be for keeps. =)

Poetry day!

If
by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!


my horoscope for today:

Are you aware of how big an impact you make when you enter a room? You should be. The world reflects your burgeoning personal power back at you. Enjoy your charisma and view it as the celestial gift it is.

Random thoughts...

Horoscope for the day!

You have a special bond with someone in a very different age range. You may question how this looks to people on the outside, but in the end, their opinions don't matter. You know how special this relationship is.

I went to school yesterday and took some pictures for our yearbook...Well I was not the one taking the pictures. More like the critique of the shots taken. It was like traveling back to those days wherein my world revolved around school and my friends. Well yesterday was one of the most satisfying days of my life... I get to hang out with one of my most favorite persons in the world! He talked to me about his past relationships, gimmicks, subjects and whatever it is that he did during those days...and I was like a sponge (Spongebob), absorbing all the information I could get, trying to put the pieces together, trying to figure out who this person really is and if my heart would be safe if ever I decide to surrender again!

We talked some more over Kublia's and there I realized that when it comes to view on relationships, we have the same ideas. And I was kinda shocked when he asked me about my past relationships. Well lets just say more like embarrassed of the question since, relationships, serious ones are quite scarce for me. ONly had one relationship when I was 13 or 14! My gosh that was like ages ago.hehehe...Then I asked him if feeling the tingles is the same with feeling happiness with that person. Then he said no, its different coz when you say happiness, what comes along with it is also contentment and satisfaction.

Then I told him about the perception of me being too good to be true and ending up being boring. He said that sometimes its true but when it comes to me, he said I don't have to change anything about myself. He also said that he's past GFs told him that he's too good for them...Huh???You see, I'm not such a party animal...my night life is non-existent with a couple of parties but I rarely go out to clubs and such. I do love to dance, disco and drink but mostly, I feel that its too inconvenient for me to got out. And then I was happy coz he said its okay and that if he didn't have gigs with his band, he'd rather stay home also. He's a family man and I really admire that aspect. Such a plus!

and then he said, we should be glad we were brought up the way we were, with our parents being strict and all. Coz with that we learned to appreciate things and we have our own principles and values.

its really nice to be with him, one of the persons I could open up to with out having to think of what I'll say or do...well except for the part about my true feelings for him. hehehe

and we kinda have this understanding that honesty is really important and we'll try to be honest with each other from now on!

So much for yesterday! I'm having a blast here doing work! Good thing I didn't get an irate guest...hehehe:)



Well till then! Chill...

Taureans' Horoscope for the day!

A tiny gesture goes much farther than a dramatic overstatement. Learn to watch and wait before you act and you'll see the exact moment where you should make your move. Trust yourself to make the right motion.

how can this message be pretty convenient and timely for me...I mean, I have been searching for a sign, from God or from somebody else to give me a very good advice and here comes my horoscope for June 3! hahaha...


Anyway, I watched the movie Domino last night and once again enjoyed the independence and strength of a woman. Domino was a lost soul but she found justice and peace to what she did as a bounty hunter when she did the heist for the operation of a baby girl.
Its really hard to be placed in a situation where in you really need to engage yourself in danger. Anything for a good cause...

Well if you have time, this movie is highly recommended...Action packed and Keira Knightly is really an awesome actress...

Finally tomorrow I get my day off...Rest day!!!

Take care and Godspeed to all!

Krishna askes me if I agree to the saying:

Patience is a Virtue!

Oh well, yes a very difficult virtue to acquire and learn!

I mean, I believe that every person has patience but it all boils down to up to what extent. No matter how much we try to be logical about things, be patient with the situation but we do have limitations. Most especially if people or circumstance test us with utmost annoyance! Its a challenge though on our part, as TSE's...

I had an irate guest today who was already connected but just wanted to air out his concerns. He was getting angry at me for asking too many questions and not saying exactly the same words that he utters. I give him that, he feels that I was not listening. And given that he was already frustrated, my probing got him boiling. And at that moment, I tried to feel what he feels and think of the things I wanted to hear if I was in his shoes. So I repeatedly apologized and admitted that I was wrong in assuming that I did understand him! And when he restated his concern, I repeated everything as how he said it and it kind of eased him a bit. I assured him that his concern will be forwarded to the management!ohh...that was tough! I'm pretty sure that he didn't get to me but he wouldn't hang up. Well anyway, that's over and I'm glad in the end, he didn't hate my gutts!

Well they say that being in a call center is such an easy job! but let me tell you this...being in a call center is a very difficult job! it would test your intelligence, your customer service and alas, your PATIENCE...it will grill you till you get burnt but it would also put a smile to your face knowing that you were able to help...Maybe I am cut out for this...

Maybe all we need is just a little PATIENCE...haha...

I finally had something to write about...something of substance...

Anyway, the day ended again and I am smiling still...

God bless to all!!!

Pride and Prejudice

Well I know I kinda promised to give you my review on the movie but when I roamed around national bookstore yesterday, I found the book and decided to buy one on my payday.

And so I must postpone my review on the movie.

No really, I don't have anything to say about the movie except that I liked it and most of the scenes got me like bolt of lightning...still sends a shiver down my spine...

I don't really know why every single nice movie I watched I can relate to. It seems that I have certain experiences which seemed kinda similar with the plot of the movie. Maybe its always like that, its not as if the stories are not based on people's lives.

Well enough said about the topic...

Yesterday was one of the best days I had. Got less calls but fortunately I was able to solve most of it. And when we had a meeting for the yearbook, he was there. I was so glad to see him and talk to him about what's he been up to lately...

What I don't understand is that when we're together, I feel so safe and so contented with what we are and what I am to him.

But when I don't see him and miss him, I would tell myself that I would one day tell him that I like him but I ended up admitting that I cannot do that to our friendship.I am confused and I also am confusing every single person who knows about this. hahaha... It seems that I am not making sense anymore...

Oh well, he's going to borrow my digi cam next week coz he's going to take pictures of TC for the yearbook. I'm so jealous coz I wanted to practice photography and its going to be a great opportunity but then I have to work...

Anyway, he says he's going to take care of it...so we'll see...hehehe...

Till next time...

by the way, try to check out this site: goddesslexie.blogspot.com!I'm going to add it to my links...Loved the site and I'm sure you will too...

bye and take care!

I'm done with work and I feel really good...

Felt that I have accomplished something today and that would be:

1.)improved my customer service
2.)bonded with my buddy
3.)found a new friend -->lexie

well i know its only 3 things but its major...

well anyway, lesson for today???

be very keen on details!

and by the way, I watched Pride and Prejudice and unfortunately Canence, it didn't put me to sleep. It was a very moving, interesting movie...

my review would be due tomorrow...hehehe:)

I tried to believe in that "first impression never lasts" saying...But then why is it that everytime I give it a second chance on knowing the person it seems that they are getting worse. I mean take this guy for example, I got pissed of (forgive my french) by his aggressive behavior. Well I was not the only one who felt offended by his forwardness but then we had to live with it because he's one of our team mates... so I tried to avoid him coz I might end up insulting the hell out of him.

And today, since Vanessa is in a good mood, I tried to give it a second chance. And guess what, he's still the way he is.

It just boils down to one conclusion: He is who he is...And I or anyone else for that matter can change that!

WE CANNOT CONTROL OTHER PEOPLE BUT WE CAN CONTROL OURSELVES!

So there goes my pet peeves for the day!

I hope I can see him(wink) soon!That would be such a treat!!!

No not the latter...YUCK!!!

A dose of mushiness...

It took me a while to realize that what I need for my day to be complete is a pinch of tingles.

Just say my name and I'll be in cloud nine...
tap in the shoulder and I will dream of you
And when you talk to me don't look away
Look me straight in the eye
coz even if you won't feel what I feel
if you see right through my wall
I would die in peace
Just by knowing that you exist...

One of those Days!!!

One of those Days!!!

I’m not myself tonight...Well not my strong self that is. Passivity and paranoia over things keep haunting me right now. I just finished textin’ my friend and planned for a hook up this Saturday night. Haven’t seen some people for ages now and well the only way I could snatch them from their busy schedule is when I declare that I will celebrate my birthday! Yeah... Its really that hard...Anyway, back to my self loathing...

It seems that this is always the case with me. I meet some guy, spends time with him, becomes his friend then eventually turns into his close friend that I would almost seem like a best friend and end up falling for that guy...Arggg...Its really frustrating! Its like my relationships seem to have a pattern of some sort. What sucks is that in the end, when I have given all of me (well not really all of me), when I have finally let my defenses down and raised the white flag of my heart, they ran off with some girl who they think is right for them. My heart might have scared them off...Or maybe they think of me as a sister and feels weird...

I know what my problem is...Its my heart. Or is it my entire being that’s causing all this sad and lonely life stories to occur. *Sigh* Fate is playing tricks on me. When will it ever stop spinning and finally point the bottle towards my very existence? When will all this convincing that there is or there is nothing there for me to hope for? Why is it always end up being this complicated?

I know I must live my life by the moment and be grateful for what I am, what I have achieved and what I have right this very instant...I have no right whatsoever to ask for more than this...

So I’ll shut up now and swallow this lump that’s slowly filling up my throat!

Saying goodbye and taming a wild bore

Its been two days since my rainy 22nd birthday. The party was great and everybody was happy, and yes it does include me because aside from my family being there including my nephew and my Aunt Baggy, both my old and new friends were there.

Today we had to say goodbye to two of our team mates. Sonny and Tristan...

Sonny, the law student was kind and truthful...although he played mysterious guy right from day one but then he's really kind and caring and he's like the older brother I never had.

Tristan was the Mr. Know-It-All guy who said that I was a moralist. Oh well its his opinion of me, and he is entitled to his own opinion. He's really a very articulate guy and although most of us can't understand his attitude, I always thought he is a very talented person.

Most of the girls cried. I was sad and wished that the company could've given them a second chance and gave us time to help them improve what they needed to improve but then as what the president said, they need to let go because the company has its standards which should be met to attain the stability it so protects.

I know Sonny's going to be a great lawyer, truthful and with heart.

And Tristan, well maybe he would make it to Pinoy Big Brother...

As for me, I fear for Friday. We're going to have another evaluation. But then, as what I tell Jesus everyday...I trust in You Lord!!!

How do you tame a wild bore?

My brother seems to be way over his head. Yeah he hasn't reached 21 yet and he already thinks he's always right. And one thing that I hate is when he talks back to my mom. She deserves better. I just wish and pray that he would someday grow up and develop patience and responsibility of owning up to his mistakes. I don't want to argue nor fight with him or anyone for that matter. I want peace in my home and in my life...

So you would ask, how's my heart???

Well, its excited and hopeful...

EXCITED because I had realized that I am now ready to eradicate those standards that I had set for my dream guy...That I am now more mature at how I look at relationships and very open in meeting anyone for that matter...

HOPEFUL because in spite of my HT's passive attitude towards our complicated friendship, he's still here... he may not be the guy who would catch me when I fall but I know he'll be there when I wanted a shoulder to cry on...

REVIEWS:

Guys you have to read Jessica Zafra's book Twisted... Its amazing and well written...Realistically humorous and well defined. So grab a copy now!!!

2 Strikes and I am still Standing

I'm getting used to the MAC OS 10 environment that I think I'm loving it. The other day we used Canence laptop but yesterday we used the president's. Hehehe...

Well anyway, yep received 2 strikes from 2 different people, well actually 2 of my team mates in CallTek! What got me is the realization that they see me that way. It occurred to me that even in my innocent foray of the complexities of the human mind, I am still at awe at my own self.

HE THINKS THAT I AM A MORALIST!!!

Am I really? I told them that I am not, well I think I'm not! Having my own values and principles in life doesn't make me a moralist. I don't shove in people's faces my beliefs. I don't even know where they came from. I guess it just sprung from the different experiences I have. I feel the need to talk to my friend Maje. I know she's the only person who could bring some light into this confusion.

I AM SO GOOD THAT I ENDED UP BEING BORING!!!

Well I don't know about this but I know I have tried to change myself several times but always end up being the same ol me. Its hard to be bad! Its even harder to be good. I asked my friend Sue to elaborate on the matter and she told me that I am such a typical girl, good character, highly intellectual, good family background, pretty(she said it not me) and a great friend but all of that seems so boring.

I guess most guys want wild women! I am wild if I wanted to but to a certain degree...

I don't know, maybe I do need a make over of some sort. Maybe I should look at my life and find out what's missing.

But I have to take one step at a time. Live the moment.

And I have once again gotten to the point where I know I must let go of the ravine that I am hanging...

It takes time and effort and willingness...And my heart is willing...


So tell me people, am I a boring moralist???

CallTek Always

We're having our practical quiz right now and I just finished troubleshooting MAC 10 OS...took me 8 minutes...I didn't study that is why it took me a long time to figure out that the Airport was turned off.

But definitely, MAC is easier to understand and to troubleshoot. Its just that we are used to using Windows XP that is why the environment is pretty alien to us.

Anyway, I passed the qualification exam for TESDA's computer technician training. But unfortunately the training already started last April 17th and they already covered the entire motherboard. So I'll have to take the training on June. Well that would depend on my schedule coz by that time we would be on the floor: LIVE!

Yep, CallTek Always...I think I'm going to have a bright future here.

As for he-who-must-not=be-named, well I'll try to forget him for a while. Take him out of my mind...so for a while would be a long time...I don't know how long though...I just know that I have to.

Could I do it?

Welcome to the real world

I'm here in my work right now, yep I did join the CallTek family. Its great here. Even before, you know still got doubts even if I already signed the contract last March but then now, I can say that heck, I made the right decision...

Right now, we are still having training, and still is the fun part of training so here goes...


Met lots of interesting people and I have talked again to the new friends I acquired here when I was still having my OJT.

Its just amazing how many types of personality there are and the challenging part is dealing with each one with out having to offend anybody.

I miss my college buddies though...Louise is in 1 & 1 also being a technical support engineer there together with Chen. I haven't heard from Ian in a while now, I wonder if already has a job. Alain and Cathy are still jobless but then I think they are looking already. Ben is still in Ozamis, he said he's developing a software for their company. Filden is looking for a job here, just got back from Surigao. I haven't heard from Tonette and Stan and Karl...

Oh well, I think I'll be seeing them in May...On my day...

I miss him...tried not to think of him during training and yes I did accomplish that but then when I go home, tired but happy, I go back to my old habit of thinking...heheheh

HERE WE GO AGAIN! ANOTHER ABSURDITY

I feel that Camus' words and works reflects on me right now...

OkaY my college life is now slowly concluding and yet I still feel so empty, so deprived of experience. It seems that I haven't met enough people to testify that I understand human nature...

but the other day, when I arrived in SM for our 2nd Exhibit, I found out someone was using my pc playing Dota and I was supposed to catch up on some SoftEng work before spectators come pouring in...There goes my pet peeves again! So what I did? I went down and checked out possible fabrics for my dress for our ball...

Afterwards, I transfered to the shoe section to find the perfect shoe...

Somewhere along the way, I tried to decipher why I am in a bad mood...Was it because, my crush's morning greeting was once again started with a mockery? Or was it the fact that up to now, I cannot quite convey honestly and verbally how I felt even if I was on the right place?

So it hit me, hit me hard!

All my life, the only thing I wanted in dealing with other people and to better love the people I value is to understand the totality of their person. But how could I even begin to understand them, when I myself don't understand me, most of the time!

But then again, I'm still discovering me, and it takes awhile, perhaps a lifetime to justify that.

All I want right now is an assurance that I will graduate and that I do have a job!

everything else will fall into place right after that...

even...nevermind...

I'm reading his book right now! maybe I could share to you some lines after I finished it... for now, as what IPaY says,

CHILLAX!!!

THE TINY FROG

A friend emailed this to me and I just wanted to share it with you! Thanks to Ms. Louise Mae Arbiol!

Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs.... who arranged a running competition.

The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.

A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants....

The race began....

Honestly:

No one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.

You heard statements such as:

"Oh, WAY too difficult!!"

"They will NEVER make it to the top."

or:

"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"




The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one....

Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher....

The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up....

But ONE continued higher and higher and higher....

This one wouldn't give up!

At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top!

THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?

A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal?

It turned out....

That the winner was DEAF!!!!

The wisdom of this story is:

Never listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic.... because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you -- the ones you have in your heart!

Always think of the power words have.

Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!

Therefore:

ALWAYS be....

POSITIVE!

And above all:

Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams!

Always think:

God and I can do this!


MY HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY!

You're willing to move on and eager to make up for lost time, but is the other person in this equation feeling as magnanimous? If not, don't be too quick to pick up their slack. It takes two to tango, you know.

Thanks to you, I got through the toughest day of my entire life...It was a huge miracle that I had that much confidence to face the panel members. You inspired me and helped me believe in my own capabilities. Because you were so sure that I would make it, I also believed that I could...So who ever you are, thank You! I am grateful to have you...

Post Mortem: Documentation

We finally passed our documentation for the project yesterday. We were 39 minutes late…It means that there might be a chance that our final grade will be deducted 5%! I know that totally sucks because I placed all my energy into it. My head bled the night before and even on that day. Post mortem: severe headaches that would last for hours and would only be remedied by sleep, which I still don’t have enough.

So what have I learned from all this rush and never-ending dilemma???

I actually improved my patience. I have learned to shut my mouth even if I was already steaming with anger. I kept my focus on what I was doing instead of wasting time nagging at some useless person sitting next to me.

I learned to humble myself in times of me being wrong and even if I was already provoked, still I would try to rationalize things and think things over a thousand times before I do something stupid.

I am thankful that in spite of all the hardships and frustrations I had been through because of this project, I am still standing and I am still eager to finish this… The thing is, because of all the problems I had and I was able to get pass, I am inspired to do the things I still need to do. It seems that the force I needed to go on was in fact the same force that would cause me to cry. Weird isn’t it? But in spite of me crying and giving up, I am now willing to exert more effort into it.

My shock absorbers are very helpful because they were there with me when I needed to talk and needed to rant about what was happening to me and my group mates for the project. And what’s great about being with these 3 persons is that every time I am with them, these are the moments that I felt free of problems. I mean when I am with them, we do talk about problems but then end up laughing about it. Its when I had tears in my eyes and gas in my tummy because of this one joke we couldn’t get over with. And I do miss them when we don’t get to see each other in school or don’t get to hang out but then seeing them again after several days makes the waiting worth it.

My horoscope says that I should be grateful for having things that I need and that I am way blessed because of the things that I have and which are of greater value.

Damn right I am!

And up to now, I still surprise me… Its not that I don’t know who I am, its just that sometimes I surprise me because I am not aware that I have this certain effect on people…Maybe when I least think of myself is when most people notice that I exist.

I just hope that he-who-must-not-be-named would notice that I do exist and if he does then I hope and pray that he would notice that I CARE!

Gosh what a night...

Had to help my friend cathy and fill her in with what we did during training since she went to Manila for her cousin's wedding. I really had fun talking to her since she makes so much sense but then even if she's that sensible, she can also be extremely funny...had coffee with her and alain...twas fun and we talked about stuff...

anyhow, im still contemplating on whether i should continue with this craziness im in...I know i kinda promised myself that i would concentrate on my work and studies and won't let any distractions take my focus away from my priorities...but then here goes my heart again...playing tricks again...and here I am, back to square one... I tried to stay walled up but he keeps on breaking my defenses down. you might ask me how...but then I can't go into details here...

All i want right now is to show him I care, not just because I admire him but then its more like I want to be his friend...maybe by then I would understand him better and I would know my place...

he'll be on my mind -- from norah jones' don't know why

Horoscope and the like...

My Horoscope for today...

for Thursday, January 19:

You've got big plans for later on in the evening, but before you can get to that, you've got to tackle your 'to-do' list. While it looks substantial now, taking care of items one by one will be more efficient than you think.


Do you want to know what my plans are for tonight????


Oh well I plan to not go to sleep again...

I plan to solve this problem of UART, Universal Asynchronous Reception and Transmission in Matlab...Its kinda difficult coz its not your everyday programming thing...

I plan to refine my speech and do well in our mock calls tonight...

Well basically that is all that's on the menu tonight...

maybe FATE will add some more...

Chow!

I'M ON MY WAY TO A HUGE MAKE-OVER

When you said something to someone you care so much about and afterwards you felt bad about saying it, DO APOLOGIZE. Say you are sorry even if you think that you were correct. Well the mere bad feeling that's there even if you are logically right makes it all wrong. You won't lose anything coz if we would talk about pride, if it were somebody else maybe I would have second or third thoughts but with someone who's close to you, why risk a day of that person feeling bad or disappointed about the whole thing...

Anywayz, training's going great...Just don't be shocked to hear me go slangy while talking to you...Our trainer Gina told us that its not Slang coz that would mean street language. Gina is a great at what she does...She's also fun. Although we haven't hanged out yet coz of course she's an employee and I think she's already Level 2 but then I feel so open towards her...

Another learning I might add is:

Always question what you want!!!

And I've decided to apply that everytime I feel so impulsive. Maybe it would keep me out of trouble...

Please pray for all of our batch, that we could finish our projects and graduate this March...

CAN'T HARDLY WAIT!

This is from Seventeen.com...

The feisty nature of the Aries boy will amuse you to no end, and he'll look to you for a steadying presence that keeps him from getting carried away.Your sign ruler, Venus, will be enticed by his Mars-ruled ability to quickly decide what he wants and go after it. You'll love watching him excel at sports or business, and he'll appreciate your encouragement to stick with what he's already started. He might have to prod you from time to time, but one thing's for sure: the passion between you will be intense.You can help to balance one another's tendencies toward extremes, but if you decide he's a keeper, avoid nagging this independent guy. Plentiful compliments and a subtle way of guiding him will work best when you need to persuade him. You and your Aries guy will learn that a balance between action and determination will help you build a fabulous life together.

It seems that I am still confused with things.

But let me just say this, and I know this may sound far out or shall I say too soon to say but believe me this is how I see things between us right now...

Honestly I don't expect him to like me perce! Its not that I don't believe that he would its just that I got tired of the feeling of you know, expecting...

I am grateful that we're friends, although not that close coz I realized that I am still getting to know the different personas he's playing in this movie of ours...

And so far, all is going well with my life right now...

Everything is in place: got work at CallTek, project's progressing(Thank God!) and he's constantly there to make me laugh and listen to me...hahaha...^__^

IN OTHER WORDS: I AM CONTENTED!!!

How could I make myself forget you for a while...???

I'm watching you watch over me and I've got the greatest view...

Everything's going smoothly with our project although sometimes it really wores me out just thinking of all those modules we lack and with so little time...I'm supposed to go to TC and meet with Luis, our adviser. I hope we could finish the Matlab part so that it wouldn't be too scary since Jan.18 would be the deadline for changes and we need to at least put up all the modules before that day.

Had my first day for OJT in CallTek last night and so far it was fun. I'm kinda eager to polish my English since I know even if I have random thoughts and endless words(if my brain is not freezed) I still stammer especially if I get nervous. We were a noisy batch, says the HR, Ms. Arnie...She's got absolutely amazing accent and even if sometimes her voice kinda hurts my eardrums but she's cool...not too lenient...not too strict...in other words, she knows her place...

And I should know mine...

I want to stop liking him...Why?

Coz I don't want distractions at this time...its crucial...you know!well you wouldn't know coz you're not in my place. But then I see him almost everyday, we talk or rather if I opted not to talk he would do everything to get my attention. I should set aside all this insane thoughts and focus on what's essential..but its hard...I couldn't stop thinking of him that even when I wake up in the morning, I realized that I just dreamed of him...how sad...coz I know he doesn't see me the way I like him to...

uh oh...gotta go...

chill!!!

GET REAL AND DEAL

Sensuality

What a word...

Toto says:

WHEN YOUR HEART GETS BROKEN ITS THEN YOU WILL DISCOVER YOUR SENSUALITY...

I don't know about that but for me, when my heart got broken it wasn't long enough before i placed back the broken pieces together...it was hard but then patience still is a virtue and I guess I just realized that I have plenty of time and so far that's all I need...