Paris Death and YOU

Pour aller à Paris et mourir!
To go to Paris and die!

PARIS -->

Should that be my dictum in life? Nah... Its just an expression our teacher in French introduced to us when we were talking about the unique jobs they have in France. Most if not all of the artists who created the most extraordinary paintings and sculptors were either from Italy or Spain or Portugal but they lived and died in Paris. Now, the very reason why I opted to jump right in and attend the first language class Accenture offers here in Cebu is that I might one day visit Paris (pronounced as Paree without an S). I know its one of those far-fetched dream of mine but heck who knows. Who could've known that I'd be able to visit Singapore while I was still in college? I love French - J'aime le francais. But I won't die in France...Which brings me to my second topic...

Should I write about you? Or the things about you that up to now surprises me? Is it safe to say that I'm trying to find out who you really are and so far, in spite of all the weirdness you show, I'm still enjoying every moment I spend with you...No this is me not falling...

DEATH -->
We were on our way to Ayala to buy something to eat when out of the blue he asked me: Are you afraid to die VAN? For a split second I thought and then said: NO! I bet that surprised him more than it surprised me because he fell silent for a minute and then asked: Are you sure? And then I told him: I'm actually not afraid to die but I'm more afraid if one of my loved-ones die. I can't bear the pain and loss. Then he said: You are still afraid of death!

Yes I'm afraid of death but not my own.
Yes I'm afraid of death but I have long accepted that it would someday come to each one of us.
Yes I'm afraid of death but its one of the inevitable.
Yes I'm afraid of death but that fear is overcome by faith in Christ.
Yes I'm afraid of death but that fear didn't stop me from living.

It was one of the weirdest conversations we had. And believe it or not I enjoyed it. With him I can think and blurt out whatever I'm thinking. I don't know how he does it but I can say whatever I want and he makes me think of wonderful ideas and takes away any hesitation of not sharing my thoughts.

Then I remembered all those morbid thoughts of my death: Me walking up the steep stairs and then there's a slippery part I missed to evade, I slipped and hit my head on the stair case breaking my skull killing me instantly; or me crossing the street then out of the blue a full speed 10 wheeler truck is just a couple of meters away from me hit me straight on smashing my body out of recognition; or me lying in a hospital bed with a bandage wrapped around my head, all my hair's gone and a life support holds my life together and then my family decides to pull the plug on me. I know, very cruel, very morbid and to me, very real. Could be one of the reasons why I'm not afraid to die, I have already imagined my death. I hope you don't my sharing of the gruesome side of Vanessa...

On another note:
And lastly if ever you get the chance to eat out somewhere, eat at City Grill, great food and a nice band --> 12 pm.

mind, body, heart and soul

What have I been doing the past days??? Didn't get the chance to blog since first and foremost nothing knocked on my brain till now. What am I to blog about???
Got a couple of news and updates:

I just finished my second session of YOGA yesterday and it was pretty challenging. Although the techniques were well demonstrated by our teachers/instructors my body unfortunately had a hard time mimicking the moves. Had to put much effort on rolling my body upwards after the push up position. I wasn't the least bit embarrassed since if not all then most of us including the guys couldn't lift their body's and do more than 2 rolling stints. This is quite a challenge for me since I just realized I'm not that flexible as I used to be when I was dancing with the Engineering Pop Jazz Team, but that was like 2 years ago. And up to now, I'm still into dancing and believe me I want so badly to dance again. But I have to get rid of this extra weight first and condition my body. With yoga - I'll be trying to do it everyday, badminton - every Sunday and proper diet - less rice more veggies and chocolates only on weekends I'm pretty positive that I'll have great results in due time. Which brings me to my second news...

My cousin came back from Singapore where she works as a nurse in one of the hospitals near Orchard - I forgot to ask her where exactly - assigned in the ICU department. She'll be here for the next two weeks and I couldn't be any more happier to see her. She gave me the huge news yesterday. She's getting married come August 2008 and guess who's going to be her maid-of-honor: ME! I couldn't believe it! Its the first wedding I've attended since my aunt got married 10 years ago. And me being maid-of-honor was surprising and well heart-warming. And she asked me to give her a hand in planning for it since she'll still be in Singapore till well August. I'm excited for the big day but I'm even more excited since I'll be participating in the planning. She bought tons of magazines just for us to browse through...Whew!
Well the third one on the list is not exactly news since this would probably sound more of a cliche since I've been going on and on about this since the birth of this blog. But I would still go on about it most especially after watching a movie that would make me think!

The captain told me: your one true love is just right before your eyes.
- rephrased from STARDUST

Then I though to myself if my prince charming is just right around the corner then he could be just someone among my dozen guy-friends. He could be that guy across me who has shares the same views on missionary work, takes the same classes as I do, sings and dances for God and has great faith in Him and by far the only one who calls me by my real nick name? Or that guy whom I thought I fell in love with, who plays awesome music with his hands and sings like there's no tomorrow - the ultimate artist? Or that guy whom I experienced most of my romantic days or so I thought, who's the complete opposite of me and who used to make me feel special.? Or is someone outside my circle, someone I'm yet to meet, not from Cebu or Manila, someone who's not from the solutions workforce, someone who doesn't belong to the industry? And you know what, not having to meet him yet makes it even more interesting, makes it more exciting. And if he does exist among my previous and current group of friends, I'm pretty sure that something wonderful will happen in God's chosen time. I do trust Him you know, and I've already given Him my heart for safe keeping. Its up to Him now to give it to somebody deserving, somebody who needs love and would most likely to reciprocate the love given!

What does a star do? Shine!
But for it to shine, it must mend
its broken heart!

mind, body, heart and sould