hi everyone, i know its kinda late and i still have a 730 class tomorrow with our oh so irritating english teacher...but anyway the past week was well kinda windy on my part...i think im battling sort of like mixed emotions. more like fear of losing someone...here goes my paranoia again...imagine, i thought that u-know-who is drifting away from me...and whats worst is that i kinda thought that my close friend lace was one of the factors of me losing him...like i ever had him...but anyway, talked to lace already and told her about what i thought and she said it was absurd!of course it is...i kinda regret that doubting part coz she has been my constant companion, guide, confidante call it what ever you want!she has been with me through thick and thin...and she knows me inside and out! i apologized and i do hope she understood me...my computer seems to be having its moods too...i had formatted this one 3 times already within the past 2 weeks...i guess it just needs to let me practice my compe skills...i have a long quiz in my OS tomorrow and i havnt finished reading the book and the slides...and right this very moment im installing yahoo messenger...i hope this works...didnt realize it took me this long to install it...by the way my old friend Ma. Karla "kai" Bautista got into the magic 5 of Ms.World 2004 held at China...im so proud of her...finally, to all those who read my crazy thoughts, i just want you to know that there's always a reason for everything...

and so in one of the friendster bulletin he wrote:

the only thing that defines love is just the reason
why you're still breathing here on earth, because
of the love of many, from the moment you where
born, untill this day,I tell you, love is always with
you, yeah yeah call it crap or anything, dont be like
those wise and lonely people, because whatever
you do, this things are really true...and i know you
know these, you're just walking blind... If you are
looking for love, would you recognize it if you
found it... wake up fool, you're mind is poisoned
by your own pride. you're so bookish, you easily
beleive in things that you feel its right just
because these people are the ones who stand up
what they beleive, are the things you stand for are
really the things you really do beleive, I tell you,
not even one of them can really explain the word
love, because love aint a word it aint in the book,
it can't be written, it would take mans entire life to
let him understand what love truly is... say I'm
wrong, I dont care, but someday you'll know, when
tears fall down, say you'll never cry, you're lying,
when that happens,when its tears of joy or sorrow
even the most f***ing miserable thing would
come, you'll say "Its that all you got!!!"


why am I sure he wrote this?coz i don't know actually...i just have this gut feeling just by reading through that he wrote this..so you see, its really hard for me to read his mind...kinda strange how it works!

it was a crazy day...its one of those days wherein i tell myself that there are a whole lot of things i should be grateful for. it was weird coz it seemed that my mind is not functioning that well...i couldn't even be critical for our sosci 6 lecture...i really have no idea why.but anyway i got through my day without shedding a tear. that's hopeful isnt it?

sometimes i would ask myself why i have to like him so much...

forgive me for babbling about him again...i know this topic is boring you but then honestly speaking, his scent is the only thing that crosses my mind right this very moment...

have to sleep but im still waiting for my downloaded files to finish downloading...

good night and God bless!

went to school today and well just hang out for a while...nothing much to do there since we still don't have classes...you know how engineering students are...

nothing much to do here at home except be on the net...browsing through the archives of ultimate-guitar.com looking for tabs to practice on...

i kept having these awful headaches lately... i think i needed to get my eyes checked again...or i might have brain tumor or something...

na just kidding...

took this quiz in gurl.com and here's my result:

Your dominant element is wood. The ancient Yin-Yang scholars saw wood types as true nature lovers--could you happily do without a TV? Wood people are generally very driven, eager to be the best at whatever they do. They just need to remember not to get too frustrated if things don't turn out exactly as planned...
The nature of wood is embodied in a tree. Wood encourages a tendency to aim high while at the same time keeping your feet firmly on the ground. Trees grow patiently. The element of wood helps us to plan things in a logical and practical way. Trees often try to outgrow each other to get the best light and to develop the strongest roots. The wood element therefore encourages a competitive attitude.

Natural environments inspire the positive qualities of wood. But the high buildings of a city can also stabilize the connection between the sky and the ground.

A windy climate is best for wood as it helps blow old leaves off the twigs and branches and stimulates new growth. The color that is associated with wood is green.

Wood types enjoy sour treats.

NOTE: Wood types tend to be either tall like trees or short like bushes. They often have strong eyebrows or a prominent jawline.

im really not sure if all of these are true...bsta these are my results...

by the way, check out vanessa carltons video, she's a wonderful dancer...

someday im gonna learn ballet...

but for now, im gonna recall our past dances to get into shape. me, leslie and glynnee are planning to go on a jogging date every saturday morning...hope it works...

till here lang sa kay im kinda tired and sleepy...nap time baby...

tc and God bless!

peace out!

And so my eventually fruitful sembreak ended with a peaceful staying at home...nah, i didn't become a huge coach potato...i went about doing most of my household chores.the only thing that made me a bit crazy is that i have to spend most of my time all alone at home. the dvd's are running a little low so i have no more movies to watch. im reading "Bourne Supremacy" but that don't work too much coz there are parts of the book that seems oh so boring...but then off to my last resort, my beloved GUITAR. I learned lots of songs with the help of tabs. I even recorded it on tape with recorder my aunt sent me.

I have to make a crucial decision before the class starts and I really have no idea how to go about making it. It all depends on how I feel and well what my mind tells me also coz I don't want to believe in lies anymore. Even if those lies suffice my craving for attention and would probably satisfy my all time fantasies. But then who needs to be reminded that the world is CRUEL and that it is possible that fate does exist and *** is just not part of my destiny. Well he probably is but then not the prince charming type. YOu know what I mean...However, in my utmost dismay with myself, with all the things I've realized over the time I spent being lonesome here at home, I still feel strongly for the guy... But then I have succeeded self control coz I didn't contact him the past 3 days. That would be a start right? I mean people who knows my story would say I should stay away. maybe I should, just for a little while. And that means I have to open myself up to other people and get my very own life, a life without him in it. I could not begin to imagine it. Damn, I think I've fallen deep...Catch me, somebody!

The pics of our weekend vacation are now available at bastina13v.blogspot.com! just try to refresh the page if the pics don't show up.Okay?

tc and God bless...

You Are Boy Shorts! You're stylish, trendy, but not over the top. You know how to look good - without looking like you're trying too hard. Men think that you're cute, friendly, and approachable. And you've got a spunky, fiesty side that comes out after a while! What Kind of Panties Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

You Are Vanilla Ice Cream! What Flavor Ice Cream Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

while waiting for this thing to load i took some quizzes...anyway its like one more day to go and hello beach...im coming home...hehehe...well not really coz its not my hometown...anyway, you know what's weird maybe i really do need to go coz lots of signs occurred days before like when I watched 50 first dates, which by the way is a pretty good movie one should see, the setting was in HAWAII...sand, sun and beach...still don't get it? well here's another, I downloaded a skin which is that of Blue Crush...still sand, sun and beach...anyway, Im supposed to be taking a bath right now coz im going to my grandmom's house to get somethings done...well to get the digi cam that is...hehehe...then im going to my pedicurist and get my pedicure...my toes are, nevermind...well im out of things to type...gotta go...

c ya next week...

"life is short, have some fun"

here i am all alone, no one to talk to...

SEMBREAK: DILEMMA OR VACATION???

I don't know about you but i think im having fun with my sembreak...finally I could get some sleep and sleep in a decent bed at that! not to mention stay at home the whole day and I could finally clean the house and do whatever it is I like to do...
Anyway just went to Ayala and i was kinda thinking of walking around all by myself and enjoy the feeling of being alone in a mall but then I saw leslie...and of course if leslie is around, then rhod couldn't be that far...the two are totally unseparable. as what i told leslie in one of my emails, i am happy for her but then i also fear the unevitable lonely moments..but then i figured, manuel, ben and glynnee are still around so I won't have to spend my free time all by myself...back to the issue at hand: SEMBREAK! We're planning on going back to Daan Bantayan for leslie's birthday...Im kinda excited coz, you know how much I love the BEACH! not to mention the company of people who shares my enthusiasm in life...i just hope my parents would let me go...

Had a long talk with Doyle last night and I realized I kinda miss our conversations...again he shed some light into my desolate mind...he told me not to expect anything from anyone to avoid getting hurt...that is oh so true...but then again, I wish it were that easy...NOT EXPECTING...the problem is, i always end up DAYDREAMING of those wonderful possible moments that would liven up my life...how could i not expect?arrg...

i think i have complained enough...till next time...

weak

my hands are sweaty
but they are cold
the blood in me is rising
as I tried to unfold
the things i wanted you to know
the words i kept hearing my heart say
that you make me weak
every single day
those indecent stares
burns my skin like fire
and that smile
fills me up like honey
in a jar
should i submit to your liking?
id say i will
could i endure this feeling
of loving you still...

~plum~

took some quizzes and here are my results...

Your Power Color Is Blue Relationships and feelngs are the most important things to you.You are empathetic and accepting - and good at avoiding conflict.If someone close to you is in pain, it makes you hurt as well.You try to heal the ones you love with your kind and open heart.

You Are Summer! OutgoingFriendlyFlirtyCuteFun

You Are Ashlee Simpson! Stylish, unique, talentedYou're your own woman!"It seems like I can finally rest my head on something realI like the way that feels" Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

the semester is almost over and im still on the verge of holding my breath coz i still have pending NC's on my subjects...anyway visited one of the blogspots and came upon an article about selfishness...what he wrote made sense and well even if i know that you already know most of the stuff written there but it won't hurt if you take a peek at it...just click on the fullmetalartist at my links...

this has been one hell of a sem and the only thing i could say is that i have learned a lot, experienced most of it and am well established lots of wonderful, worth keeping relationships with a couple of classmates.

i'd love to blog some more coz i have tons of things to tell but then i still have to study for my logic defense and my final exam in comE 411...

amidst the squall that paved its way into my peaceful domain
i remained firm
i choose to be faithful
because knowing that you will be by my side
takes the fear away
~plum~

I stared for a moment into the open field of silence, and pondered on the footprints that left my journey undaunted and then I realized that all those time that my world would seem to come crashing down, would seem to fall apart, a portrait of your existence lights up the very road i walk upon. Your presence illumines my sky which was once darkened by the apathy towards one's frustrations. You might ask, why do I hate myself? it is because no matter how unreachable that star is, I still stand on my toes and stretch my hand out, hoping and praying that my maker might grant my grandest wish: TO KEEP YOU! But you are merely passing by. A not so distant memory of my euphoric days. You will someday leave my circle and travel on to a different dimension. You will one day forget that I existed, you might even erase my name from your memory and I will be nothing but a speck of dust on your photo album. So I cherish every moment of tranquility when I am with you, in those frequent conversations. The day might leave us dissatisfied of what we have achieved but we are still happy people. As long as we are still bounded by the very wall we are leaning towards, I will keep you close. Closer to my heart. I will make the most of what we are, what I am to you and the time that I am blessed with.~plum~011004

My days are getting more crazy as i live on...I don't know, it seems as if I had my last drop but them here I am still moving on...

I told Exun that I wanted to stop liking/loving him...He asked me the most crucial question: Are you sure you could do it? It got me thinking, could I? Its hard for me because we are together 24/7! and whats worst is everybody kept on thinking that we're already a couple which is far from the truth...ahh... dilemma's in life....I'm listening to urbandub right now and well the music just makes me miss him...we're like brothers and sisters...I guess our sort-of-relationship is just upto that point...should I settle for that?what do you think?

anyway, its my lola's birthday today...my other grandmom, Lola Elsa, my Lola Edith's older sister...and we're having dinner at Lumpia House... My aunts wanted me to sing...I still don't know what song...

I was supposed to go to Glynnee's house coz there's a fiesta at Pardo, but then family first...
I wish I was there...

anyway, don't get too excited coz again I'll be taking a leave of absence since I've got 3 pending projects to make...

peace out...

mwaah!

my life all of a sudden became such a rollercoaster of sort of flirting...I don't actually flirt with the guys in question...its just that somehow I became close to them and the physical contact became such a normal thing for us...anyway, this left me even more confused with how I feel...

Canence is correct on the matter of getting over the certain guy!its just that almost everybody thinks I should distance myself...i wish its that easy...i do that in a heartbeat...the problem is my heart doesn't seem to comply with my decisions...

this is gonna end here kay nag ym mi...

bye...

Good Morning to all...

I was supposed to go to the bank to get a check cashed but then my mom told me she'd be the one to do it...yepee...Midterms is almost over. Still go 3 exams next week or the week after that.
Weird coz last week I almost give up on everything because my body was so exhausted and Im so emotionally drained.

Anyway someone used my chikka account and well sent some "i love u" messages to those people in my account! I don't have a single idea who did it... Some sick weirdo perhaps who's got nothing to do with his life which might be a total wreck right now that he wanted to ruin other people's life! I took my java programming exam totally disturbed of what happened. Might as well forget about it and do some damage control!

I really love to dance but last night a huge dilemma caught me by surprise! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STRUT! It was like the most difficult routine I encountered! But as always I took it as a challenge coz hahaha...don't know I just feel like I can do anything as long as I put my heart and my mind into it.

I'm still playing this game of pretendings. Its like Im trapped in this! Gosh! It would sometimes seem that I was born to have a very lonely life...love life that is!
He sits beside me but his mind flies somewhere else...to that girl he used to know...he longs for her as much as I long for him...So I just looked at him knowing that I could have him as my company but I could never have his love or care or his attention for that matter...he is everything I wanted and more but I think God has a purpose for me...something much more than what I wanted...but for now I must detach myself from him...could that be possible?...they say nothing's impossible in this world...but why does it seem very hard for to let him go...yes he is my friend but Im tired of pretending that it doesn't bother me if he talks to me about ****...the bottom line is I AM HUMAN! Im not some robot who has no emotion whatsoever! so here I am, same ol' me, so I choose to hurt in silence and be grateful for what he could share to me...his DIVIDED attention... I know Im getting caught deeper into this and that I might get in trouble...but still I pray to God...I do not pray that he'd love me or that he'd choose me over ****(as if Im included in his choices!)but instead I pray that he'd be happy with her, that he would not be hurting, that she would inspire him to do more with his life...That's the least I could do aside from being around when he needs some company...How I wish I sat in another row 2 semesters ago...that we didn't talk and that we didn't get along...how I wish I didn't like music so much, that I had different interests...at least totally different than his...that I live somewhere else, near the school perhaps so that we didn't share those ride home and then get the chance to talk more...I wish we didn't have common friends...I wish all these things didn't happen...I might not be hurting right now...

But as what the great philosophers say: EVERYTHING HAS ITS PURPOSE!

and so I must accept my fate and live on with my life trusting in what the Lord has in store for me...

Take care....

You are always gonna be my love
Even if your affection may wander to another
You will always be inside my heart
I hope that I have a place in your heart too

Could this be the last straw of mine?Could I still endure this?Actually Im the only person to blame because I could not seem to let him go... I don't know why...I feel so strangled and well kinda betrayed but as what Benny said, I could not blame him...

I read something today in his phone and well even if it really crushed my heart out, I still smiled and teased...yeah right as if! God, IM SUCH A PRETENDER! To you who's asking, well here's my answer...

WE don't exist...there's never us in the first place...its just a result of misconception...

I still don't know how I could avoid him or should I?

If I do, would it mean breaking a strong bond of friendship?

Or are we even friends?

What a way of inspiring my midterm exams!

TSAI: Channel your energy for the greater Glory!

java_files
glynnee

Happy 20th Birthday to Gizelle Faye "Paypims" Sembrano!!!

I know it took me forever to blog again!its just that Im kinda preoccupied with a whole lot of school work and dance practice...

A lot of things happened... All I can say is that I have had my fair share of ups and downs that I think I'm on the verge of being emotionless...I don't know, the past events made me a stronger person!

As for my inspiration, well good thing is he still does inspire me...but as always I shrug the idea of him courting me out of my mind coz I know it will never happen...maybe not this time...

Just finished typing our report on our ComE 414L and after a very tiring practice, Im still alive and kicking...had a very scary afternoon. I was cornered by such unexpected people.I just don't understand why I can't seem to lie about my feelings. I just sat there, smiled like hell and let the aliens eat me alive...anyway, in spite of bruises and sores all over, Im still glad I got in the Engr. Pop jazz...its like somehow, my dreams are slowly coming to reality...except for like a bit of...you know na...well we can't always get what we want...

You've Got a Bit of a Crush Maybe your guy friend is a crush of convenience - easy enough to happen Did you just break up with someone? Or are you more lonely than usual? If no to both, then this small crush could be the real deal. Find out if he feels the same - because he just might! Are You Crushing on Him? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

This is what maia was talking about!This is our lesson in ethics...At first I thought that Buddhism is a considerable religion...not that I have any plans changing religion but I mean the teachings are reasonable enough to poke you right in the head...just read through and reflect!


The first part of the Eightfold Noble Path is RIGHT VIEW or RIGHT UNDERSTANDING. This means knowing the Four Noble Truths.
The First Noble Truth is the knowledge that ALL that has been CREATED is IMPERMANENT. And whatever is impermanent is inherently ILL. And what is impermanent and ill is SELFLESS.
Two is the knowledge that the arising of ill is based on ignorance and it is perpetuated by the craving and intoxication for sensuality and sensations, becoming and rebecoming, delusion and ignorance.
Three is the knowledge that the CEASING of this ill that has arisen, the stopping of all future becomings, is Nirvana. True Reality realized, freed of this ill.
Four is the knowledge of the Eightfold Noble Path that leads to the cessation of this ill and to winning the goal: Nirvana. True Permanent State of Self, Permanent Changeless Absolute Reality ITSELF, Suchness, Perfect Wisdom.
The second part is RIGHT THINKING or RIGHT AIM. This means to aspire to attain realization of Perfect Wisdom, the Ultimate True Permanent Reality. To abstain from all evil acts of thought. To attain the total destruction of all cravings. To renounce all manifesting, all constructions, all that is "created" make-believe.
To develop dispassion, total detachment, absolute renunciation, self-surrender. To bring about the cessation of all "created" realities. To Self-Realize the Incomparable Awakening of Self. To win the freedom of Mind, the freedom through Perfect Intuitive Wisdom, the sane and immune emancipation of Will.
The third part is RIGHT SPEECH. To abstain from all lying speech, all perjurious speech, all evil abusive speech and all frivolous speech. To engage in speech and discussion that pertains to and leads to Nirvana, to what’s actually PERMANENT and REAL.
The fourth part is RIGHT ACTION. To abstain from all killing of all creatures. To abstain from all stealing. To abstain from all sensual and sexual misconduct. To abstain from all evil acts. To abstain from all forms of intoxication.
The fifth part is RIGHT LIVING. To abstain from all evil ways of living; to abstain from all evil methods of livelihood.
The sixth part is RIGHT EFFORT. To destroy all EVIL STATES OF MIND that have already arisen; to keep NEW evil states of mind FROM arising; to maintain and grow GOOD STATES OF MIND that have already arisen; and to make grow NEW good states of mind that have not yet arisen, such as loving kindness for ALL Beings, compassion and pity for ALL creatures, sympathetic joy and equanimity.
The seventh part is RIGHT MINDFULNESS. To contemplate as impermanent, ill and Selfless: Body, Feelings, Perception, Mind, Consciousness, Thought, Mental States, Mental Objects and Mental Activity. To grow revulsion for the world, seeing it for the decaying creation that it is, and to grow dispassion, total detachment, calm, tranquility, seeing that everything is not Self. To disregard all that is perceived, remaining aloof from both the pleasures as well as the pains arising from the creation of senses and sensuality.
The eighth part is RIGHT CONCENTRATION. Aloof from the world, aloof from evil states, aloof from all sensations from the senses, dwelling in solitude, seclusion, ardent, diligent, Self-resolute, develop one-pointedness of Mind through intense meditation and reflection.
To enter in, AND THEN TRANSCEND, eight higher states of consciousness that lead to increasing Intuitive Wisdom, Insight and Direct Super-Knowledge, and to destroying the addictions and cravings, and to realizing True Reality, effectively piercing the shell of ignorance and delusion. As one attains the higher states of Mind, Consciousness, the true nature of how things really are can be seen clearly, both intuitively and with supreme effort, by direct Super-Knowledge. True Reality unfolding, Self-Enlightenment of Self by Self.


So anyway, I'm having second thoughts on the pop jazz...Don't get me wrong, I really like to dance but then just realized that it would really require much of my time...Have to make lots of sacrifices... but then again, I still want to practice. It don't only make me loose weight but it also inspires me, in a way...hehehe...SECRET NA NA!Because of....nevermind...

I grew tired of waiting
it always makes me confused
who am I really?
to you I mean...
how long should we go on like this?
pretending nothing's happened
or yet happening...
others could see
but why can't you?
Are you that blind?
I know you're not stupid
but sometimes you are...
not that I'm blaming you
its just that...
my heart has had enough!
~plum~

Here I am again, blogging after a very long ang tiring day. My only consolation is that I get to see and hang-out with "you-know-who" and well of course my ka berks...
My everyday dilemma includes 25 units of mixed major and minor subjects and a whole lot of love problems...Well not all are mine. I think just a few but then again, why would I make our relationship a problem? If anyone should ask, I'd still say we're friends but with a little twist...Most of the time that he's with me, we talk ALOT! We never ran out of stories to tell. He'd like, poke me on the shoulder if I fell silent or pinch me then we then begin our very much awaited conversations. I like it very much when I joke around and he hugs me, well sorta like that, or puts his arm around me. It makes me feel secured!But then again, WE'RE JUST FRIENDS! I therefore conclude that he doesnt have a clue that I LIKE HIM A LOT! Of course I like him, why would I hang-out with a guy like him if I didn't enjoy every single minute of it.Right?And so in spite of my plan which is to avoid him, we end up being together all the time. But I never grow tired of being with him, laughing at his jokes, listening to his crazy and wild stories and ideas even if sometimes I just nod my head even if I didn't quite relate to it, eating out, walking home or just sitting next to him in silence. How could I ever find someone like him? For me, he's all I ever wanted in a guy and he's the one thing I could not have. D I L E M M A...What a harsh world!

I'm looking forward of going to school on Monday...

God bless!

Im still wearing my uniform as Im typing this at home. Just came home from school and well Im not that tired so I punched in some thoughts. I missed blogging everyday. So far Im still not that "busy". Anyway, Im expecting a whole lot of improvement with regards to my activities this semester. First VOT's back in action. As you have noticed in you admission slips, the admin had collected a 20 peso allotment for VOT. Finally someone placed some sense into them. Next, finally my mother allowed me to at least try out for the engineering pop jaZz...hope I could get in coz I really wanna dance before I solely focus on being a computer engineer.We won't be able to join the mobot contest on the 26th but there's still a chance come October. My classes are all fine and interesting. And I'm looking forward to my Ethics class...
As for the love of my life...KUNO! We're still the same, FRIENDS! and good thing is I had confirmed that he still doesn't have a single clue about what I truly feel for him...Im just relieved that he'd still confide on me to whatever is on his mind most especially about the girl he likes.

LM: I feel bored hanging out with you coz it seems that you have your own world!

I guess, Les that's what makes our friendship extra special...

Hey its me again...just finished eating dinner and I was supposed to finish reading the book Maje lent me. but I figured, what the heck I'll go online for just 30 minutes just to check on things...anyway I'm still feeling sobber...not on booze but on something else...IBELIEVEINATHINGCALLEDLOVE...love that song...I know I'm weird and that makes me, me...my eccentricity...if anyone has a problem with that then I'm glad to have buggled up your mind...

Once again my words are lost. I kept having these odd dreams but I'm not sure if Im in the position to interpret them. As always they seem real coz it involves people who I see everyday. I wonder if other people have the same experience...I miss my Philo class. For me that was like the only sensible part of my education...

by the way, got hooked on these two games: Shrek 2 and Nosferatu...they're both entertaining on different levels...my bro is currently playing nosferatu...to those game addicts, maybe you have tried them, maybe you haven't!Just check it out...

till next time...

what confuses me the most is the way you handled knowing how I truly feel about you...sometimes it would seem that you wanted to stay away, sometimes it would seem that your stickin' around...which ever way, I'm still a thousand time grateful for the company...~~plum~~

I'm searching for some pdf files for the datasheets for some ic's and its taking so long...anyway, I have to make this brief again since my bro's gonna use the pc to check his friendster...

it would sometimes seem back to normal except for the times when he thinks of going to *A****...the only thing that bothers me is that even if everybody else teases him but when it comes to me teasing him its like he changes the topic or shrugs it off...maybe he knows that I like him too much that even if I would seem happy teasing him, deep inside it would hurt like hell...maybe he doesn't want to hurt me.Or maybe he is just not comfortable if I'd be the one to open the topic...too many maybe's...
What if he'll all of a sudden enters this site and read my blogs...would know its all about him?nah as always he'd be clueless and well then ask me who I'm talkin about and of course I'd then lie...

good night ***...

okay so this is the second post. the first one was gone...and i kinda poured my heart on that one.
I guess its just not meant to be posted...

anyway, I'll make this short for the moment...

I have to let go of my fantasies because somehow it hinders me to grow.
I have to allow myself to meet other people and explore the huge world of the male species.
I have to stop being sorry for myself.
I have to stop depending on my friends for decisions.
I have to keep to myself what ever it is I'm feeling because I always end up being in trouble.
I have to make use of what ever I have right now.
I have to be a little more selfish, a little less sensitive.

can I do this?

i don't really know!

its just that im so tired of being myself. my friend (Doyle) always tells me to act upon
how I feel and speak as to how I think. but I always ended up keeping it to myself because
of the fear that I might hurt someone in the process...

message to my HT:

A silent cry
before I depart
into the real world of pain...

I AM HERE...

Okay so I've been gone for quite a long time...its like the end of April already but then here I am, once again born and revived...well I got busy with summer school...yeah right as if I'm that much of a student...actually, our Philo class is interesting and I had to read two books, The Alchemist and Tuesday's with Morrie...both are books about life...can't elaborate on that right now coz Im in a hurry...I'm supposed to go back to USC main for my swimming lessons... three years of lessons and I still can't finish a lap...I guess I lack the endurance in submerging myself under water....anyhow, met this interesting guy...hehehe...and yep he is a swimmer, he used to be in the varsity but then he already graduated...but don't get me wrong, Im still into ***!I'm just enjoying our friendship...and well honestly Im kinda lying low on this stuff...my friends are so into the idea of teasing and here he is going crazy over one of our classmates in PHilo...am I jealous?of course I am and man could this fact hurt...but i know hurting wouldn't get me anywhere so I'll just let it be...I am happy for him coz finally he could prove that he's not ....what others percieve him to be...and he already found the girl of his dreams...yeah right...as if!well, I guess friendship means more to me than my feelings for him...whatever this is im feeling, i hope it would all go away someday...its disturbing...and as what our teacher in Philo discussed this morning about Camus' philosophy that life is full of absurdities, well damn what im experiencing now is one good example...till next time...gotta go...

Got this from Kim's website and I thought I'd get some thoughts out of my mind...for your comments or violent reactions, u know what to do...thanks kim...

"Our sweetest songs are those that tell of the saddest thoughts."- this is oh so true coz everytime I write poetry which would then become my next composition, I'm kinda depressed not to mention close to tears...some of us are just inspired or motivated to make music if we are in deep sorrow...
"From an angel's wings, to a falling star, God made everything, but an unbreakable heart." -but there was such thing as an unbreakable heart, we wouldn't be able to learn and love again...we would be like old people who die having to remember every pain a person brought to them.It would be like feeling nothing...
"Love can sometimes be magic, but magic can sometimes be just an illusion."
-this would surely stink really bad if it would just pop out one day and when it would seem that you're relationship is going great when all along, one of you is just pretending...

You are Sneakers! You're an active girl, who's all about function You dress for the occasion - comfort comes first Your perfect guy? Someone who can keep up with you. You'll find him - but you might have to slow down to see him! What Shoe Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

I'm here at my aunt's house trying to amuse myself with all the movies I could get hold of. My cousins are away for the week...They went to Dumagete to visit their grandma...And Ace and Toby went out with their parents to I don't know where...Ping is out of town to Argao with our neighbors, JD and Ewing...hmmp...my brother is at home...So I'm all alone with nothing to do...I'm trying to give testimonials to my friends...anyway, I had a dream about my ex, Kane last night...can't remember most of it, but even though the events were vivid, he's face was really clear...what does that mean?dreaming of your ex?hehehe...

you kissed me when I'm bittersweet
and wipe away the tears I weep
fore in the shadows I think of you
hoping this loving feeling is true...does this make sense?I thought about it last night and well kinda thought to make this into a song...its short I know but it still isn't finished yet...

miss you guys na...you know who you are...

I feel so bad...I mean not that I did anything wrong but then I just am depressed I guess...Im almost finished with the book Im reading... Well anyway, everybody's sleeping here at my aunt's house in Basak and I think I have to get some sleep coz I have to wake up early tomorrow...

pay I need to talk to you...you can reach me at tsai's house...talk to you tomorrow afternoon..better yet, I'll call you nalang...okay?

I miss ****toot****....hehehe...

in all the days that I have lived
It had never occurred to me how much
i have wasted my time
on things without purpose
now that i have grown
i pray that wisdom might permit me
to live a life for someone else
and to let others see
the love that God gave me
~plum~

You Are a Peppermint Cappuccino You're fun, outgoing, and you love to try anything new. However, you tend to have strong opinions on what you like. You are a total girly girly at heart - and prefer your coffee with good conversation. You're the type that seems complex to outsiders, but in reality, you are easy to please What Kind Of Coffee Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

just a little something to take your boredom off...

its a cool, cool summer...

hi everyone...i haven't blogged in a while coz im pretty busy with family stuff...my aunt Linda thus my second name arrived from Portland last saturday and we have been going to my lola's house everyday and like go home at midnight...i still can't sleep there coz all the rooms are taken...my cousins are also living there so we're kinda full.anyway, got some of my grades already and Thank God i passed most of them...im sure i don't have any failures this semester. and we're gonna enrol for summer class this saturday. i wasn't able to find a summer job.but that's okay i guess coz i still have 2 students for guitar lessons.
oh by the way, we hanged out at ipay's crib last Tuesday and Soek, our dear president cooked us lunch. mind you the food was sumptuous...i kinda lost my track of loosing 10 lbs this summer coz the food was really yummy...up to know i still can't believe what a great cook he is...Thanks Soek...and then we did the karaoke all afternoon.and it kinda dawned me that i'd surely miss these times...
yesterday was my cousin's graduation...CONGRATS TO KRISLIE VALENCIA LABAY...finally you're already a nurse...we've got a nurse in our family...we had dinner, mostly family were there...as you know we've got a very huge family...anyway i was really surprised with myself because when i watched my cousin go up the stage and receive her diploma, i felt like crying... i don't know why i get so emotional. its weird.but im really happy for her and of course for her boyfriend jojo...they're both nurses...
finally, have to admit i miss my ht...hehehe...God bless..

im confused of whether i should change my template or not...im trying to set up ym with my cousin claudette in san jose but this thing is taking so long...anyway, we still don't have our grades in ee...Engr. Calis had to do something with the grades, the secretary said, she'd lower down the passing percentage...i think because, many of us failed...i sure hope that we'd all pass...nothing much to do here at home except watch more movies...play my guitar...practicing no doubt's base which is really fast...i think and im pretty sure i still want to be in a band...the other day i finally saw the movie FREAKY FRIDAY and i was well inspired again to set up a band...problem is, since we're already in college, it hard to find people who'll commit to this kind of stuff...arrgg...i wanted to do this like ages ago...i guess i focused more on my dancing...and besides im not that much of a guitar player...but one thing im proud of doing is playing at the same time singing...mind you its really hard...especially if you'll do the lead...well im a very ambitious person...too many dreams too soon...hehehe...i miss my classmates, hanging out at the canteen, chipping in for the sake of chippy..., laughing till my jaws hurts, singing,studying at ipay's place, dancing at ipay's place with tonet and manuel, watching movie at ipay's place...don't you notice we're always hanging out at ipay's house?its like this:first home, of course our home, 2nd home:usc-tc, third home:the sembrano residence...hehehe...anyway, have to go coz i think my hair is already dry and im planning to take a nap...till then...love you guys and miss you all...

in everything i do
i think of you
so don't ever think
that i'll forget
summer is hear
but don't you fear
coz your on mind
till evening clear...

just another crazy thing that's getting on my mind...

here i am again...all alone in the house...nothing much to do except sulk and remenisce...well at least i finished doing the laundry and guess what, i started painting...don't know what got into my mind, i just snatched my brother's brushes and started painting...well anyway, still have like 6 waking hours to do what ever it is i wanna do...by the way, check out the euphoria pics leslie posted(finally) on our batch's site...compe06pics.tripod.com!it made me miss my friends even more...tomorrow's gonna be verdict day for our EE subject...im not that confident with whether i passed or failed...its really hard to tell...
on my insanely controversial lovelife...
i've decided to lie low a bit...i know i shouldn't expect anything from anybody so that i wouldn't end up getting hurt(again!).trust is a big factor for me...i do trust my ht with how i feel, its just that, like any other guy, he's super insensitive, unconsciously irritating and in spite of all that weirdness, i still love him for what he is...as a friend i mean...i think im also not ready to go into that kind of stuff yet..imagine, i have an inner child of 6 years old...who would want a girlfriend that immature?...and i still have to settle my issues like getting jealous easily and my possessiveness(in terms of people that is).and i think he's still afraid on getting hurt also...i think we better leave things as they are and well only time can tell what would happen next.if it was bound to happen then no matter what the circumstances are, it will just happen in a snap of a finger...
pray for those who are failing...that we may pass all our subjects and be 4th year compe studs officially...

the night stole away my tears
it gave me strength to face my fears
the wind blew the pain away
and held on tight till the hurting fade
i came so near
to letting go
it took a great stir
for me to know
how much life could still be
such a surprise for me
nothing could let me fall
and make me feel small
fore there's always the moon and the stars
to guide my path
even in the road of the dark...

~plum~
21/03/04
11:39 p.m.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MS.CHRISTINE SUDARIO...GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS...

The semester had officially ended yesterday...kinda strange how empty I felt after our exam in Walton's class...may be that's because I flanked again...but then even if I failed that test, I still passed the subject...I could have done better but unfortunately for me, I wasn't able to study...Well who studied? most of the people are busy with the Logic project and the ECE lab reports...anyway, got tons of plans lined up for the summer...crazy ideas...

i thought no one cared to know how i felt...
but then it seems that a school of fishes do
they tend to swim around the idea
of me falling inlove with you
they say its that obvious
but why can't you see
that I'm absolutely falling completely
i wish there was a way
to keep you for me
that the idea wouldn't scare you away
if the fishes start to tease...
don't swim away oh please
2 more centuries to go
and we'd once again depart
to another ocean of dreams
leaving the waves behind
i wonder what I'd do
after the squall had gone
where would i be
without you here with me???

Your Lip Gloss Flavor Is: Cotton Candy You're a total girly girl who's every guy is sweet on. You take pleasure in the simple things in life, from cute t-shirts to stuffed animals. Any guy needs to match your romantic idealism to win your heart, which is why few have. No wonder Cotton Candy is your signature flavor. It's delicious, sugary, and fun - like you! What Flavor Lip Gloss Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Here's the attendance during the euphoria party. I tried to email this but it failed. You know what to do...

EUPHORIA

My sched's pretty hectic this week...there's this project in our logic lab that I think occupies most of our time even the sleeping hours. but nevertheless, we or rather i enjoy staying up late fuddling over wires and IC's. at least now, I could feel that I'm heading somewhere in this course...still have one report in ECE so have to go...God bless you all for the Final exams...

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Shy

When a guy gets to know you, he finds a great catch

Problem is... you're too shy for most guys to get to know.

From meeting someone to dating, you usually have your guard up.

And while you're just holding back, it makes you seem like you've got something to hide.




Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend Take This Quiz :-)



Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Your Inner Eye Color Is Blue You've got the personality of a blue eyed women You're intense and expressive - and always on the go You've also got a sweet, playful side - which draws men in What's Your Inner Eye Color? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

just checking my mail before i take a bath...im going to megan's for her guitar lessons...what a hectic weekend...i was the emcee for the techquiz at sm yesterday and well i realized how hard it is especially when there are a lot of people telling you what to do...anyway, KARLA WON!She's the new Bb. Pilipinas World...i knew she'd win coz she doesn't just have the beauty but also the brains...congrats kai!anyway gotta go...c u all in school...

Exun, here's your report for logic...just click on the link...okay

EXPT10 REPORT

if you can't download it i sent you an email...okay...cge bye...
bangka nya ha...hehehehe

well we practically had the entire day without classes...we walked around SM and played some arcade at BIBO...and we're supposed to turn 20 this year.imagine that...my classmates said that its like our brains are shrinking...nah...i think we're just having fun...honestly, i've never experienced this before...maybe because i came from an all girls school and all we practically talk about are boys, clothes and other related stuff...we never get to play computer games...all we do is write down flames or play soccer baseball...anyway, i have a very heavy feeling inside me...i don't know why and i can't explain it...and the worst part is, it makes me dread having to go to school on Monday...crazy me...

By the way, to all those who visited my site and tags, other than my friends that is...thank you very much...please tag your websites so that i could add you to my links...

Lace:does the feeling still exist???after all this time?
Plum: yeah, and the scary part is, i think it even grew stronger...

Just a little something about myself...if you want you could copy this and post in your own webbies or in Friendster and have your own answers...Thanks to CAL for the email...enjoy reading...

* . . . W O U L D Y O U R A T H E R . . .*

1) pierce your nose or tongue?
tongue, i don't want my nose to swell

2) be serious or be funny?
i'd rather be both
3) drink whole or skim milk?
whole i think

* . . . A R E Y O U . . .*

4) simple or complicated?
simple yet complicated

* . . . D O Y O U P R E F E R . . . *

5) flowers or angels?
flowers, at least they're REAL!

6) grey or gray?
gray

7) colored or black-and-white photos?
colored, its more lively

8) lust or love?
love

9) sunrise or sunset?
sunrise, more meaningful

10) M&Ms or Skittles?
M&M's, chocolates are the best

11) rap or rock?
i listen to both but i like ROCK more...

12) staying up late or waking up early?
waking up early

13) TV or radio ?
TV at home, radio when commuting..

14) eating apples or oranges?
apples...yum

* . . . A N S W E R T R U T H F U L L Y . . . *

15) Do you have a crush?
ahh...isn't it obvious?

16) Who is he/she?
AF929-2021A

* . . . D O Y O U P R E F E R . . . *

17) being hot or cold?
cold, can't do anything when its hot...

18) tall members of the opposite sex?
i guess its okay...wouldn't matter

19) sun or moon?
moon, goes along best with STARS...

20) emeralds or rubies?
emaralds

21) left or right?
right

22) having 10 acquaintances or 1 best friend?
1 best friend

23) sun or rain?
rain...

24) vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream?
love ice cream, doesn't matter what flavor it is

25) green beans or carrots?
carrots...(for a change)

26) boys or girls?
MEN!

27) low fat or fat free?
doesn't matter as long as its edible

* . . . M I S C E L L A N E O U S . . . *

28) What is your biggest fear in the world? -
losing someone u truly love

29) Kids or no kids?
kids

30) Cat or dog?
dog

31) Half empty or half full?
half full

32) Mustard or ketchup?
ketchup

33) Hard cover books or soft cover books?
soft cover

34) Newspaper or magazine?
magazine, more visual

35) Sandals or sneakers?
both

36) Wonder or amazement?
amazement

37) Red car or white car?
red, white gets easily dirty..

38) Happy and poor or sad and rich?
happy and rich...if i have a choice why not get it all <-- YEAH! :)

39) Singing or dancing?
both

40) Hugging or kissing?
since i haven't experienced it yet, KISSING...

41) Corduroy or plain?
plain

42) Happy or sad?
happy

43) Blonds, brunettes?
I'm more attracted to brunettes

* . . . A B O U T Y O U . . . *
What time is it?
11:04 pm

Full name?
Y'all know my full name

Nicknames:
Bani, Ban2x, Van, Vani, Vanvan, Vanessa, Bane, Bastina and lots more...

This is for my friend who needs some sample programs for their project in java...
1)guessing game
2)Buttons
3)general

the Buttons.java and general.java must be on the same folder coz its an application. so place it on the same folder.then compile.the GuessingGame is an applet.be sure to have an html file before running it at DOS prompt for appletviewer or in an internet browser.k?

this one's for mommy leslie:

EE report

i hope this helps... till then...okay?God bless!

hi guys, another busy weekend...i think i don't have real weekends anymore...kinda strange how i enjoy being busy all the time...its like as if it serves as my vitamins...coz when i have nothing to do i feel like DYING... anyway, im here listening to Bread...feeling kinda blue just hearing their songs...saw the pictures at paypims site and well kinda wished we could go back there and spend like a week just chilling out...wishful thinking again...i finally borrowed Texas Chainsaw...i think i'll watch it tomorrow coz i have to make the report on mulitplexers...by the way, someone emailed this to me and well here's my result for the first question...

b) Nobody in a deserted village except yourself.

You are basically a person who enjoys looking back to the
past "Reminisce". A very emotional person indeed. Easily influenced by
the
People or surroundings around you. Eg. If the society is sad about The
death of Princess Diana, you will also share the same sentiments Or
When watching a sad movie... like Titanic, you will be so engrossed In
The
movie that you ended up being sadder than the main casts in the
Movie!!!!!!!

Love life: Very Messy! Are you a very confused person? Sometimes you
like to be left Alone, sometimes you want to be loved, sometimes you
need
her/him, Sometimes you don't! Does it sound familiar?? You better
sort out about yourself before you cause another party to be in pain
for you.is this true about me?what you think?tag me please...love you...

guys the daan bantayan pics are now available...i know i've got another major exam tomorrow for our ece... i think its on voltage divider and on chapter 7...well anyway watched chasing liberty with canence and manuel...the movie was okay...i learned lots of quotable quotes...e.g. the thing you fear the most are those that are worthwhile...anyway, gotta make this short coz i think i've been online for a long time...update me on things...you guys know what to do...love you all...

CLICK ME...

I can't believe we have only 2 more days to go and then DAAN BANTAYAN here we come...could you imagine, there would be 28 of us who'll be going...hehehe...anyway i found the tabs for hoobstank's the reason...incase you want to get a hold of it just click on the link below...okay?

THE REASON

Anyway, still confused but happy...totally crazy over ***...hehehe...im done with pretending...i hope i could control my feelings before it completely controls me...

MY VALENTINE REALIZATION

well i know i blogged a couple of days ago that i particularly don't like valentines but then i realized that as long as i have my family and we are all intact and at peace with each other, as long as love settles in our home, there's a whole lot of point for living...even if my lovelife seems so dull and boring(as if!!!), id still be thinking of myself as INLOVE. INLOVE with God, my creator, INLOVE with Jesus, my savior,INLOVE with my family, one of the reasons why i toil and finally INLOVE with my friends...hehehe...mushy mushy*blush*...hahaha...thanks to all those who texted my yesterday and those who didn't coz at least i didn't spent too much on texting people love quotes...they know that i wish them love and happiness on valentines...

love you all...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MS. DENISE LABAY!!!

Ping, you're a year older na pud but then you still are the same old daping I know...Things may get tough sometimes but then, I just want you to know that I'll always be here for you more than someone you could borrow a laptop from...hehehe...btaw, I wish that you'll be able to fulfull your dreams and have the contentment that all of us are searching for in life...Take care of yourself, don't forget any meals kay lisud na ma ulcer...hehehe...love you cousin...mwaah....
Made a few changes in my site...I don't know how to take out the scroll bars though...hehehe...anyway got a major exam tomorrow...ECE on JFET and I have to study pa for my speech class since we will have our oral exam tomorrow...Like the new song?can't decide gyud which one to play kay there are so many nice ones...hehehe...
About the valentine's day thing, well maybe Maia's right...Maybe it will be different this year...I do hope so...That way I'll be able to change my bad perception on that event...

I've never felt more closer to you than ever...
I guess there is heaven here on earth...
I promise that no matter what happens,
You'll still have me
Even if God wills for us to be just the way we are
As long as I have you...
I'll be forever grateful...

Bill sent me this through email...don't know if everybody could relate...


Beyond Forgetting Rolando Carbonell

For a moment I thought I could forget you.
For a moment I thought I could still the restlessness in my heart. I thought the past could no longer haunt me?nor hurt me. How wrong I was!

For the past, no matter how distant, is as much a part of me as life itself. And you are part of that life. You are so much a part of me?of my dreams, my early hopes, my youth and my ambitions?that in all my tasks I can??t help remembering you. Many little delights and things remind me of you.

Yes, I came. And would my pride mock my real feelings? Would the love song, the sweet and lovely smile on your face, be lost among the deepening shadows?

I have wanted to be alone.
I thought I could make myself forget you in silence and in song...And yet I remembered. For who could forget the memory of the once lovely, the once happy world such as ours?

I came because the song that I kept through the years is waiting to be sung. I cannot sing it without you. The song when sung alone will lose the essence of its tune, because you and I had been one.

I have wanted this misery to end, because it is part of my restlessness. Can??t you understand? Can??t you divine the depth and the tenderness of my feelings towards you? Yes, can??t you see how I suffer in this even darkness without you?

You went away because you mistook my silence for indifference. But silence, my dear, is the language of my heart. How could I essay the intensity of my love when silence speaks a more eloquent tone? But, perhaps, you didn??t understand...

Remember, I came because the gnawing loneliness is there and will not be lost until the music is sung, until the poem is heard, until the silence is understood....until you come to me again.

For you alone can blend the music and memory into one consuming ecstasy. You alone...

Im extremely happy today because I aced my EE exam...yepee...at least I get to have a brighter future on this subject...Im searching for guitar chords right now in preparation for the coming Valentine's week...Im not really into this valentines stuff... I actually don't like valentines at all... it makes single people realize how lonely their lives are...argg...if you don't agree with me then that's fine...this is my site and I'm pretty much entitled to my own opinion...Anyway, my feet are killing me... I walked again from Harrison upto our house...I really enjoy walking at night...cool air and I get to think...That's one of the oddest things I love to do...walk and think...sometimes I could create a wonderful poem while walking...it just sucks coz I can't write it down while walking and by the time I arrive to wherever it is Im going, the words just disappear and I can't remember them anymore...hehehe....another thing that made me happy today is well, its so redundunt but then there are certain people who just makes my day complete...and finally I told my father about the Daan Bantayan thing and he just nodded as if there were no complications whatsoever....Sun, sand and sea here I come...
We're going to have dinner at moon cafe tomorrow...those who wanna join us just text or call leslie's house in the afternoon coz we're gonna be making our project in Logic tomorrow...okay...
TILL THEN...

Im grateful for having friends who are honest enough to tell me how they really feel and what they really think...It helps me grow to be able to know your views in life...Thanks guys...you know who you are...

Rainbow *Southborder*
Fallin' out, fallin' in
nothing's sure inthis world, no no
breakin' down, breakin' in
never knowin' what lies ahead
we can really tell it all
say goodbye, say hello
to a lover or friend
sometimes we never could understand
why some things begin then just end
we can really never have it all
*but oh, can't you see
that no matter what happens
life goes on and on
so baby, just smile
coz i'm always around you
and i'll make you see
how beautiful life is for you and me
--take a little time baby
see the butterflies' colors
listen to the birds that were sent
to sing for me and you
can you feel me
this is such a wonderful place to be
and even if there is pain now
everything would be alright
for as long as the world still turns
there will be night and day
can you hear me
there's a rainbow always after the rain--
hittin' high, hittin' low
win or lose you should go yeah, yeah
gettin' warm, gettin' cold
weather could be so good or bad
but baby this is life
now don't get mad, no no
repeat * and --
life's full of challenges
not all the time we get what we want
but don't despair my dear
coz i know now you'll make it through the storm
coz you're strong
my faith in you is clear
so i'll say once again
this is wonderful and
let us celebrate life that's so beautiful
so beautiful...
--

i really like this song... as in... i didn't realize it was so striking up until now...

Hi guys! I'd just like to clarify some things before everything gets too mixed up... I AM DEFINITELY NOT INTO EXUN! To me he is just a sweet friend, a good companion since he, like my HT, has a great sense of humor and well kinda pisses me off sometimes but its okay as long as he doesn't go below the belt. We've been talking lately since I tried to hook him up with my cousin Tsai which unfortunately and fortunately didn't work out. What I meant was nabuking sad ko niya coz he already knows who my HT is...Tsai told him when they talked on the phone before... hehehe...did you really think that I'd exchange my HT for Exun?na-a...Exun and I became friends a couple of weeks ago...me and my HT...never mind....So nence, I don't have lots of HT's as of the moment...there's only one...Tonet gave me the copy for the song Rainbow by Southborder but I think its somewhere hidden inside one of my books so I'll just post it next time...anyway we'll have our exams in EE tomorrow and I'd better get a high score or I'll be in deep trouble in the finals...don't want that to happen again...so till then...

Happy Birthday to ALEXANDER PAUL GO!!!

It must be the most memorable day of Paul's entire life coz guess what I think there about more than 5 girls including me who kissed him for his birthday... Well with Sir Walton's 100 plus points, we kissed him on the cheek...hehehe...anyway, my mom finally said yes on the idea of me going to Daan Bantayan...yepee...anyway, nothing much to talk about...haven't found the lyrics for rainbow... but took a bit of chorus from different sources...here it goes...

"...say goodbye, say hello
to a lover or friend
sometimes we couldn't just understand
why good things begin then just end
we can really never have it all.."
"take a little time baby
see the butterflies colors
listen to birds they were sent
to sing for me and you
can you feel me
this is such a wonderful place to be
even if there is pain now
everything will be alright
for as long as the world still turns
there will be night and day
can you hear me
there's a rainbow always after the rain..."

* Rainbow - Southborder

Well I'd like to dedicate this to my HT... i think i've sang this na to him...but he doesn't have a clue...hehehe...

till then...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MARK LEMUEL aka "KELEM" BULAWAN!!!




Artist: Britney Spears
Album: In The Zone
Title: Toxic


Baby, can’t you see
I’m calling
A guy like you
Should wear a warning
It’s dangerous
I’m fallin’

There’s no escape
I can’t hide
I need a hit
Baby, give me it
You’re dangerous
I’m lovin’ it

Too high
Can’t come down
Losing my head
Spinning ‘round and ‘round
Do you feel me now

With a taste of your lips
I’m on a ride
You’re toxic
I’m slipping under
With a taste of poison paradise
I’m addicted to you
Don’t you know that you’re toxic
And I love what you do
Don’t you know that you’re toxic

It’s getting late
To give it up
I took a sip
From my devil cup
Slowly
It’s taking over me

Too high
Can’t come down
It’s in the air
And it’s all around
Can you feel me now

With a taste of your lips
I’m on a ride
You’re toxic
I’m slipping under
With a taste of poison paradise
I’m addicted to you
Don’t you know that you’re toxic
And I love what you do
Don’t you know that you’re toxic

Don’t you know that you’re toxic

Taste of my lips and having fun

With a taste of your lips
I’m on a ride
You’re toxic
I’m slipping under
With a taste of poison paradise
I’m addicted to you
Don’t you know that you’re toxic
And I love what you do
Don’t you know that you’re toxic

With a taste of your lips
I’m on a ride
You’re toxic
I’m slipping under
With a taste of poison paradise
I’m addicted to you
Don’t you know that you’re toxic
And I love what you do
Don’t you know that you’re toxic

I’m intoxicated now
I think you’ll love it now
I think I’m ready now
I think I’m ready now
I’m intoxicated now
I think you’ll love it now
I think I’m ready now

I'm so sleepy right now... I don't know why...and my abdomen hurts...had my period since this morning...arrgg...better now than on the day we're gonna go to Daan Bantayan...That is if we're going... Had a dream last night...just click on the link below and if you like you could interpret it for me...

Dreams...

We had our meeting with Dr. Maja this morning...and he talked about the changes that would be happening next semester. I could not believe that we're going to pick out our major:embedded systems, systems programming and networking...have to decide on what to major in..."what's it gonna be, jollibee?"hehehe if you could only hear GIZELLE say that line you'd be laughing yourself to death...we watched The Last Samurai and 10 thing I hate about you during 4 hours break. those are 2 good movies you should watch...movie addicts na gyud mi...as in...
by the way does someone have the lyrics for southborder's RAINBOW? nice gyud au na nga song...if haven't heard it you should look for the mp3 or any audio file...maka kilig to the bones...
we ate the famous fries again...bangka manuel kay finish naman ko yesterday...that was before we went home kanina...
happy au ko kay i have communication na with my cousins in the states. both from my mom's and dad's side of the family... and imagine, they all want me to go there and live with them...if it were that easy i'd be outta here in a heartbeat...
o mai, la na gyud ko talk about ako HT ha...

I like this song...mamemorize ba kaha ni nako?
Artist: Kelis
Album: Unknown
Title: Milkshake




My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard,
and there like,
its better than yours,
damn right its beter than yours,
i can teach you,
but i have to charge!

My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard,
and there like,
its better than yours,
damn right its beter than yours,
i can teach you,
but i have to charge!

I know you want it,
the thing that makes me,
what the guys go crazy for,
they lose their minds,
the way i whyne,
i think its time,

lala-lalala,
warm it up,
lala-lalala,
the boys are waiting,
lala-lalala
warm it up,
lala-lalala,
the boys are waiting,

My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard,
and there like,
its better than yours,
damn right its beter than yours,
i can teach you,
but i have to charge!

My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard,
and there like,
its better than yours,
damn right its beter than yours,
i can teach you,
but i have to charge!

i can see your on it,
you want me to teach thee,
techniques that freaks these boys,
it can't be bought,
just know things get caught,
watch if your smart,

lala-lalala,
warm it up,
lala-lalala,
the boys are waiting,
lala-lalala
warm it up,
lala-lalala,
the boys are waiting,

My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard,
and there like,
its better than yours,
damn right its beter than yours,
i can teach you,
but i have to charge!

My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard,
and there like,
its better than yours,
damn right its beter than yours,
i can teach you,
but i have to charge!

oh once you get involved,
everyone will look this way-so,
you must maintain your charm,
same time maintain your haylo,
just get the perfect(land?),
plus what you have within,
then next his eyes are squint,
then he's picked up your scent,

lala-lalala,
warm it up,
lala-lalala,
the boys are waiting,
lala-lalala
warm it up,
lala-lalala,
the boys are waiting,

My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard,
and there like,
its better than yours,
damn right its beter than yours,
i can teach you,
but i have to charge!

My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard,
and there like,
its better than yours,
damn right its beter than yours,
i can teach you,
but i have to charge

Finished my report in ee a while ago...but instead of copying notes for logic, i decided to check my mail and well got hooked on writing stuff bout school to my cousin Claudette. I miss her and Ate Carol and Ate Elsa. I know we have quite an age gap but I really could use some help with my dilemmas right now...things are getting more confusing...i don't know who and what to believe anymore...i just don't know what to do with myself...are the things maia told me the answer to my prayers?I really can't tell coz contrary to what she told me(can't tell everyone, hello!) things between me and my HT are pretty PLATONIC...it just doen't make sense...argg...why does it have to be this complicated?is this part of my adventure as a college student?hmmp...anyway, we've got lots of plans and i hope we'd be able to pursue them...BEACH, PARTY...SUN, SAND AND SEA...just keep swimming...just keep swimming...if you watched Finding Nemo, this line would sound familiar...till then...

As what Echeng said....Van, just RELAX...

love you guys...God bless

Hey guys how are all of you? Me, I'm still hanging and I think at the same time falling for...never mind...anyway someone emailed me this and I wanna share it with you. I don't know if I've posted it before.just read nlng and comment on the stuff which you like.okies?gotta make this short coz I have to make another report in ECE lab.take care...

When boys become a girl's best friend
By Pamela Angela Salomon Pastor


Inquirer News Service CONTRARY to the popular belief that men cannot have purely platonic relationships with women, today more and more females have found best friends in their male counterparts. Of course, even more women have gay best friends, but hey, that's a different ball game.

We all know that women outnumber men. So why can't women stick to tradition and just giggle with their girlfriends? Let me tell you why:

While most guys are terrible at being good boyfriends, they can actually be
great friends. Without the stress of jealousy, commitment, looming anniversaries and other dates that should-never-be-not-even-once forgotten, women and men can have pretty good relationships.

They're not afraid to get their hands dirty. While most women squeal when
being splattered with mud, men like rolling in it. They don't worry about ruining their manicure or getting dabbed with spaghetti sauce on their shirt. They're more relaxed, less conscious. That makes them more fun.

They don't spend too much time going on bathroom breaks.

They don't constantly complain that they're getting fat.

They think like guys. How else will you be able to dissect the head of that
guy you've been drooling for without your male best friend's analysis of the situation? How will you snag Mr. Perfect without his guidance? Your male best friend knows what and how guys think-he is one.

They give great advice. While women tend to be more flowery with words, men
tell it as it is (unless of course, they are in the middle of courtship or are trying to sweet talk girls into something). They jolt you back to reality.

You feel protected. Now I do not mean that women are weak, weak creatures. I
am a feminist myself. But it's nice to know that if someone starts beating you up, your male best friend will be there to help you cream them.

They act like big brothers. They warn you about no-good idiots who are after
you. But of course, they're actually all big babies, which brings us to the next reason:

You can mother them. Let's face it. Men - whether they're 16 or 60 - are kids.
It's a given fact.

They don't fall in love with guys. How many friendships have been ruined
because of pals going after the same guy? Countless. This will never happen between you and your male best friend-to each his own.

They're not afraid of calories. For most girls, pigging out is unheard of. Guys live for buffets and enjoy food more. That makes them great companions for eating out.

They don't like boybands. (Most of them, anyway.)

They're sweet.

They don't shriek or scream.

You can be yourself. Forget about crossing your legs and dabbing at your
little mouth with a napkin. You can relax and chill and do whatever you want. You can be a guy with them.

They don't get PMS (pre-menstrual syndrome)-ever.

They don' t talk about getting married-at least, not to you.

They're not too clingy.

They won't get mad when your phone is busy. Then again, in this day and age
when almost everyone has call-waiting, who does?

They share your love for computers and passion for the Internet.

You can talk about the NBA-and not just about how cute the players are.

They don't easily freak out. They can handle gory and morbid stuff. They don't
get terrified.

Their parents are not strict with them. Unlike most girls, they don't have
curfews and can do what they want when they want to. That means more time for you to hang out.

But, of course, like everything else in this world, having boy buds also has its
downside. Here are a few:

Their girlfriends get jealous of you. Admit it sometimes, us girls can be pretty unreasonable. Some females would not be 100% comfortable with the idea that you're hanging out with her guy a lot.

They forget you're a girl. They've been calling you "dude" for such a long
time that they've forgotten your gender. This is why you'd hear your guy friend say, "Whoa!" when he sees you all dressed and made up. This is why they think it's okay to salivate over other girls and comment on their bodies when you're around. This is the reason they tell disgusting jokes and expect you to laugh with them. Don't expect them to open doors for you and yes, don't expect them to carry your things. And unless you start wearing skirts to show off your legs, it will probably take a bump on their heads to remember you're a girl.

They can be pretty obnoxious. They can rattle off endless curse words for
minutes. They can tell sexist jokes and can be pretty sarcastic at times. But once you sharpen your tongue and prepare your own vocabulary of insults, you may just beat them at their own game.

Sometimes, they can take you for granted. You've been with them so long that
they expect you to hang around forever. If they blow off your plans because they suddenly got a date with some hot chick, they expect you to grin and bear it. If they ask you to befriend this girl they've got the hots for so they can get on her good side, they expect you to do it for them even if you hate her guts. Let's face it. Most men really need a dose of sensitivity.

You may end up as a girlfriend substitute. This happens a lot especially
with males who are afraid of commitment. You end up going to his prom or to his all-important office function as his date. He introduces you to his parents just to stop them from asking about his almost non-existent dating status. He finds security in your friendship and seeks comfort in your companionship. You become his ultimate excuse for not going out with other women.

&nb sp;You have to endure their burping contests. And when you tell them to say, "Excuse me," you get chided for being too prude.

They may scare away boys that you like. Having other boys around you all the
time may cause a hottie to think twice about asking you out especially if he's the type that scares easily. One, he may think that any of the guys are more than just a friend. Two, even if they are just your friends, he probably knows that if he screws up and hurts you, he's going to be in trouble. Then again, why should this bother you? If the potential boyfriend cannot even stand up and face your friends, how can you expect him to be strong when it is needed?

Your boyfriend can get jealous of them. In the same way that their girls do
not appreciate your presence, your guy might not like the idea of you hanging out with your close male buds. The male ego is a very, very sensitive thing. More so if the owner dotes on it. As bad as this sounds, sometimes, it boils down to a difficult choice-your boyfriend or your boy-friends?

They can dump you when their girlfriends get too jealous. Since you are
expected to always be the perfect and understanding friend, they don't think you're going to mind if they stop hanging out with you. "She doesn't understand why we have to go out and watch movies when I can do it with her." But you've got to understand the guy. He's probably pretty sick of hearing her whine, "Why
is she texting you again? Doesn't she have any other friends?" and "What! You're going out again? But you just went out with her last week!" And just in case that particular relationships ends, they expect to be able to pick up from where they left and resume the friendship like nothing happened. Yes, friends make sacrifices. Even hard ones.

They can fall in love with you. If I'd get a peso for every single time this
has happened in history, I can probably buy that Ford 150 now. Unless you feel the same way about your guy friend and you want the friendship to become more than just that, the situation may not be pretty. Either you forget about it and laugh about it when you get older or your friendship goes ka-put. Definitely not a good way to end things.

Or worst yet if you find yourself up falling in love with them Guess that's why for security sake, always keep a handful of girlfriends That way you have people to run to in case you lose your guy best friend

Happy Birthday to Alberto Quinanola...

He's my uncle, my dad's cousin. I think he just arrived from Cagayan de Oro... And by the way I'm proud to say that my cousin Kristoffer Kiner is one of the dancers of the champion for the Free Interpretation for the Sinulog competition. I didn't actually see them dance yesterday. It was really hot and we were watching from the streets of Mango ave. anyway have to make this short coz I still have to make my report in ee...show people..

Good morning people... i've been trying to connect since 5:30 and it took me forever to do that....just would like to post something about me... read on and I'd appreciate comments...if not, then just read. Okies?
1. birthday?
-may 13, 1984
2. what school did you go to in highschool?
-University of San Carlos Girls High School

3.where would you wanna go right now?
-In Bed (yaawn!)

4. what is ur wish ryt now?
-Hmmm… that all those people I know who have illness would get better most especially those who are in their worst condition.

5. When did you last cry?
-I almost did, yesterday.

6. Do you like your handwriting?
-I think so…

7. Any bad habits?
- complaining

8. What is your most embarrassing moment?
-Lately, when >>>>’s teasing me in front of my HT.

9. what would u change about u?
-nothing

10.Are you a daredevil?
-I think I am…

11.who inspires you to live?
-God, my family

12. Do looks matter?
-no

13. what is you cellphone model?
now???
-2100

14. Do you believe in ghosts?
-yes

5. how many piercings do you have?
-one pair on my ears

16. Are you trendy?
-not really

17. How do you release anger?
-I cry or talk to my heart’s content

18.Where are your second homes?
-my aunt’s house at Mt. View, TC

19.What was your favorite toy as a child ?
-cooking stuff

20. favorite subject/s?
-english and math

21.best moment of your life?
- still ongoing, college years

22. favorite dessert?
-apple pie ala mode, brownie ala mode

23.ABS-CBN or GMA?
-abs-cbn

24.favorite bands?
-incubus, saliva, audioslave, no doubt, all American rejects
25.What do you look for in a guy/girl?

-good sense of humor, sensitivity, wits, thoughtfulness

26. What are your nicknames?
- Van, Bani, Ban2x

27. Would you bungee?
-someday I would

28. what do you wear when u sleep?
- pajamas, sometimes shorts and shirt

29. What are you worried about right now?
- lots of things

30. did u ever go on a diet?
-no

31.when was ur first kiss?
-never been kissed

32. who's ur crush sa showbiz?
-Collin Farrell

33. What's your favorite colour combination?
-yellow and blue

34. favorite ice cream flavor?
-double dutch!

35. favorite animal?
-dog

36. Are you in love?
-can’t tell

37. what will be ur wedding song?
-

38.instead of telling who ur crush is describe
her/him nalang.
-class clown, witty, talented, good-looking in his own ways, critic, crazy, adventurous, loves foods(weird foods), talkative, moody

39.mommy or daddy?
-mama

40. greatest regret?
- no regrets

41. kyla or nina?
-Nina

42. motto in life?
-Certainty comes but once.

47. one nyt stand or long term relationship?
-long term

48. future profession?
-lawyer

49.what is the perfect date?
-anything that would make the both of us look forward to the next date

50. what would u like for Christmas?
-a pc?

51. what will be your new years resolution?
-risk more

52. torpe or straight forward?
-straight forward

53.what is the one thing you cant live without?
-a family

54. what is/are ur best asset/s?
-my eyes

55.are u a better listener or a better adviser?
-listener

leslie came here at our house and we studied ECE...well more like chikka at the same time answered some problems from Boylestad's...oi peeps answer gud nos. 13 and 14 and tell me your answers kay leslie hasnt answered it yet and I wanted to compare my answers.by the way to all those under Engr.Barangan in ComE 322 8:30 MWF, WE WILL HAVE CLASSES ON FRIDAY JAN.16, 2004! Dr. Maja will be taking over to explain those thing we didn't quite understand...so please be there..K?anyway, I havent started studying pa for Logic. you know I just realized that we're a bit lucky coz we only have 2 exams this midterms. Major exams that is...can't you still see the bears at the sides of my template?by the way Kittin and I have the same template. Ok ta Kittin oi...nice nuon at least we have something in common.

well gotta go coz I think I've rested na...God bless to those who are taking their midterms...Like me...hehehe

luv u!mwaah...

i can't stop smiling
at the mere thought of you
i'm glad we've become friends
that's okay i guess
at least i get to spend time with you
even without you knowing
i still feel contented
and i am grateful
to have known someone like you
that is enough for me
i'll be thinking of you always
even in my dreams...

I wonder who Tryee is???I mean, kept on tagging and it seems as if I know who he or she is...nyway, nothing much except that I'm confused with my midterm sched...Anyway, I don't know why I feel so relaxed as if I didn't need to study...took the quiz in paypims sight in guess what I'm also Elvish like Legolas...I wanted to be like Aragorn, is that correct?hehehe...But above all, I really liked Sam.by the way, knsay Sam sa a2ng batch???God bless to all...


Elvish


To which race of Middle Earth do you belong?
brought to you by Quizilla

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EMMANUEL YAP!LOVE YOU EMANS!

LORD OF THE RINGS SQUARED!
Can you believe that I already spent almost 7 hours of my free time watching this movie with exactly the same people?
LAST FRIDAY NIGHT....
Watched it with Leslie, Canence, Ipay, Manuel, Jon, Philip, Stanley, Erik, Filden and Exun...The company was great and so is the movie... And you know whats funny, even after the movie we were still talking about it. got home so late that my mom gave me a little bit of lecture on watching the last full show.hehehe...anyway, at least I experienced watching that late with friends...thus my freedom is limited only to daytime leisure...that is if I'm not with my cousins...
OUTREACH AT PARIAN
I always had enjoyed kids... They are fun and they're a great way to test your patience, that is if you have a long one...After having games at parian, we went to sm. in the bus on the way to sm, they sung songs and they have gary to lead them. Gary, you really did a wonderful job at handling the kids. Anyway, we ate a huge lunch at majestic. And then after that we did some shopping with the kids. I really wished they were happy with what we bought them coz some were really hard headed and picked out more expensive item. Of course if I only had money to spare, i'd buy those but then, my pockets are empty and so we had to explain to them that they needed to pick another one. I realized how hard it is for a parent to deny their kids of what they like due to the fact that they cannot afford it. And to think I was once a kid...I think I still am...hehehe...anyway I had fun and I even made a connection with some of the kids... after we said goodbye to them, we(Ipay, Canence, Manuel and I) decided to watch LOTR3 again. And thanks to Mr. Legolas' explanations, I was able to fully understand the story. hehehe Manuel got his hair done same way as Legolas and just imagine the faces of those who were waiting in line at cinema 1. They were like "Hey its legolas!". I think Manuel was a bit embarrassed...Anyway after the movie we entered the realm of Toy Kingdom and roamed around a bit. Canence was looking at these dolls of 24 nations. It quite a collection. but she was disappointed not to find the Philippines in it.hehehe...cge lang nence, we'll make our own lang... then we ate before we went home... what a day...got home late again. good thing my mom didn't scold me again for getting home at almost 10... next week's gonna be tiring since we have to study for midterms...till then...