okay so this is the second post. the first one was gone...and i kinda poured my heart on that one.
I guess its just not meant to be posted...

anyway, I'll make this short for the moment...

I have to let go of my fantasies because somehow it hinders me to grow.
I have to allow myself to meet other people and explore the huge world of the male species.
I have to stop being sorry for myself.
I have to stop depending on my friends for decisions.
I have to keep to myself what ever it is I'm feeling because I always end up being in trouble.
I have to make use of what ever I have right now.
I have to be a little more selfish, a little less sensitive.

can I do this?

i don't really know!

its just that im so tired of being myself. my friend (Doyle) always tells me to act upon
how I feel and speak as to how I think. but I always ended up keeping it to myself because
of the fear that I might hurt someone in the process...

message to my HT:

A silent cry
before I depart
into the real world of pain...

I AM HERE...