Sparks

I finally found someone whom I can share my thoughts without speaking...So how would I ever do it? Communicate without uttering a single word? Here are some ways:

• MAKE FACES - he knows that I'm on to something if I have a huge grin on my face or if I'm pissed if I have my poker face on. I don't know how he does it but he reads minds. As opposed to Edward Cullen of the Twilight series, he can only read mine.
  
• PINCH - he would pinch me if he misses me. I know this sounds so assuming of me but this is the entree in a full course meal. Starts with a pinch, then a brush of the hand, wrapping his arms around me and finally planting a kiss on my cheek.
  
• NUDGE - if we crave each other's attention we would nudge each one's shoulder. We have silent moments especially when we just got off from work and we're still trying to get some fresh Ayala air into our lungs. And sometimes we get lost in our thoughts. A nudge would remind us that we have each other and whatever it is that's bugging us would eventually come out.
  
• MAKE LAMBING - if we both want something from each other.
  
• And of course the PAMATAY NA EYE CONTACT...hehehe...

I know, its kinda mushy but heck we do it almost everyday. I don't need to tell or ask him what to do or say. I learned to lessen expectations and yes sometimes life does take me by surprise.

I might have been wounded and bruised but I'm still alive, more alive than ever.

Sigh

Today I was surprised by his actions...and he was surprised too...I try to thank the little things he does for me, showing me that he cares just a little bit more...Buying me lunch, taking my ride home just to make sure I was safe even if it was totally out of his way...I know I shouldn't go there again...Putting in colors to nothing again...All I can do is take a long deep breath...Is this real?Is he real?Am I really awake when all of these things happen? We text till the wee hours and I'm still not convinced that he's real...He calls me out of the blue and still I question myself if there is something to it besides his boredom...He misses me he says...I hope he really does...Haayyy....Life...Wahhh...Love...is this it friends?

Bittersweet Symphony

He kept on singing the first few lines of the chorus...And I started to wonder again what it is that he keeps on humming. He said he found it in his friends page in friendster and he liked the song. So then I asked him what song it is and he said he forgot. On the taxi ride to Guadalupe (I was invited for dinner to my aunts house) he sang it again. Then he told me that what the title is - The man who cannot be moved! And guess what he said he dedicates it to me...I was appalled at first with the title...But then I searched the lyrics and heard the tune...I liked it as well...

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move,
Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand,
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am,
Some try to hand me money they don't understand,
I'm not...broke I'm just a broken hearted man,
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do,
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me, And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be, Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet, And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Policeman says son you can't stay here,
I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows,
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go.

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

People talk about the guy
Who's waiting on a girl...
Oohoohwoo
There are no holes in his shoes
But a big hole in his world...
Hmmmm

and maybe I'll get famous as man who can't be moved,
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news,
And you'll come running to the corner...
Cos you'll know it's just for you

I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who can't be moved...

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.
[Repeat in background]

So I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

I'm not moving...
I'm not moving.

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag not I'm not gonna move.

So now that even if he were not here and I have to spend 9 days all by myself I can still survive. Well technically I didn't get to spend it on my own...My hands are full with work, Photography club, Toastmasters and security initiatives.

Dedication

I'm not sure if this song is dedicated to me but it somehow made sense...Thanks to Kelem!

Today is a winding road
Thats taking me to places that I didnt want to go, whoa
Today in the blink of an eye
Im holding on to something and I do not know why I tried

I tried to read between the lines
I tried to look in your eyes
I want a simple explanation; what Im feeling inside
I gotta find a way out
Maybe theres a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know youre unlike any other?
Youll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I dont wanna ever love another
Youll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

Today is a winding road
Tell me where to start and tell me something I dont know, whoa
Today Im on my own
I cant move a muscle and I cant pick up the phone, I dont know

And now I'm itching for the tall grass
And longing for the breeze
I need to step outside, just to see if I can breathe
I gotta find a way out
Maybe theres a way out

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know youre unlike any other?
Youll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I dont wanna ever love another
Youll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder

Yeah Im walking on a tightrope
I'm wrapped up in vines
I think Ill make it out but you just gotta give me time
Strike me down with lightning
Let me feel you in my veins
I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain

I'm off to Samar tomorrow...I probably can't blog there...anyway till next week...

just leave a message

Darn it Tag-board is not working anymore...changed to cbox...It's going to be a long week...
Anyway, I found out that I can open my page in our office...goodie...I hope I can open blogger too...It's very secure there that there are a lot of blocked sites...

have to go work...Aurevior...A bientot!

At some point...

I was blog hopping...trying to get some sense out of this world through an artist's mind...I happen upon one of HER blogs... and I just wanted to quote...

The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender. - Emil Ludwig

Darn it...there's more truth...

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love. - Neil Gaiman

and so I'm back to being in limbo...nothing is clear at the moment but the shear pain that becomes very vivid when he's not around...Wanting something you cannot have has been my life's main objective...Darn it...I wish he could read this...but he can't coz he can't know or else I'll be waving the white flag...

Once

Watched a movie from Czechoslovakia 2 Fridays ago. There were dozens of European movies that were shown in Ayala's Onstage. We were hoping we could catch the one in French but then they changed the schedule. The movie was typical, the acting was realistic, plot was somehow new to the Filipino mindset however the soundtrack was surprisingly well thought of. There was one song that was also part of the soundtrack of movie Once (still have to find a copy of this one coz they say its also a nice movie). The song is simple yet it brings out emotion. I think its because of the melody, so passionate and true.

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

Listen to the song...Can't find just an audio clip to embed!




Had my nails painted yellow green...I was to choose between this color and purple. He was with me when I had this done in Fab Nails...He chose yellow green over purple...And so I went for it. Ahhh....I haven't been so attached to a person for a very long time that it seems so surreal to have him almost always near me...I hope this lasts longer than I expected...

butterflies in my stomach...

Need I say more?

Please dont say I love you, those words touch me much too deeply
And they make my core tremble
Dont think you realize the effect you have over me
And please dont look at me like that, it just makes me want to make you near me always
And please dont kiss me so sweet, it makes me crave a thousand kisses to follow
And please dont touch me like that, it makes every other embrace seem pale and shallow
And please dont come so close, it just makes me want to make you near me always

Please dont send me flowers, they only whisper the sweet things youd say
Dont try to understand me, your hands already know too much anyway
It just makes me want to make you near me always

And when you look in my eyes, please know my heart is in your hands
Its nothing that I understand, but when in your arms you have complete power over me
So be gentle if you please cause your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth, baby
And it makes me want to make you near me always
Your hands are in my hair, but my heart is in your teeth, baby
And it makes me want to make you near me always

I want to be near you always
I want to be near you always
I want to be near you always

To Maia and Bing: I think I won't be able to buy you dinner on December!LOL!

mise à jour

Finally, I'm home on a Saturday, nothing to do but laundry. I'm not going anywhere. No overtime in the office since Miguel, our counterpart told me to enjoy the weekend even if I still have pending work, no scheduled laag since girlfriend Rhea is packing her stuff - she'll be flying to Thailand tomorrow and staying there for 3 weeks (I'll miss her, no body would call me "HOI LABAY!" anymore!), no community activity to attend to since its still the start of Accenture's fiscal year. What a bliss...Staying home! I miss this...And I miss blogging...

A lot has passed...Over the past weeks since my last blog I have kept things in synch with my expectations of people and events but expecting less. Well not really expecting less but more of expecting different things but all positive.

I don't get to have those disappointments anymore since I always tell myself that whatever happens its not the worst thing that could happen to me. I'm not sure if this makes sense to you. But lately I've been keeping out of trouble by thinking out of the box, thinking that to every problem there is a solution or a way to get out of it...hehehe...

A lot of good friends are leaving...

KARL - flew to Lexington Kentucky last Sept 17, 2008. He'll be staying there for 4 months meaning he'll be spending Christmas there also. But he'll be back in no time!

Kuya Natz - mentor and president of Accenture Cebu Toastmaster's Club will be going to UK to work there for 15 months. He's one of the most positive person to hang out with. Every meeting is catered with LL - learnings and laughter.

Cecillia - mentor and VP Education of Accenture Cebu Toastmaster's Club will be leaving the company and going back to the footprints she left behind. No more adviser for me. Her and Kuya Natz make a good team up. She's very creative with words and strategies...But she'll be just a stone's throw away...So I'll still be seeing more of her in our ACTMC meetings.

New Roles and Responsibilities...

Since its the start of the FY09 we have new non-work roles. Mine stays confidential. All I can say is that it frightens me to be given this huge role but so far this is the bestest opportunity to step up. A lot of people are backing me up --> I can do this...

On love...
Oh well, we're still what we are...Relax is a virtue...But I'm not shutting my door for other people. Kai is setting me up on a blind date - I don't know when...When man Kai?hehehe... and my close Korean friend Nicky hooked me up with an architect named Gilbert who works in Waterfront in Mactan...he texted me for 2 days and so far that's it. According to Jasmine, whoever fights the hardest for me, wins! Mura Tekken...hehehe Anyways, I'm enjoying my time with August Rush and we've already settled that he's not going anywhere just yet.

toodles...

UNDEFINED

We are friends. We are confidantes to each other. He tells me his story and I tell him mine. He leans on my shoulder when his head is aching and I, well I put my chin on his shoulders when I needed mending. We like to eat out, especially during Friday nights, pizza at Acha Pizzeria. We love music very much. He pinches me and I punch him. We do have our own little world sometimes. It's like we're trapped in a bubble. But we are not lovers. NOT yet. So what are we then? He misses me but doesn't say it...He says action speaks louder than words...Would it be the reason why every chance he gets he gives me a hug?Could it be just a brotherly love? Then again...WE don't have a definition and I'd rather not lay down everything just to satisfy gossip! So don't grill me and squeeze the truth out of me because the truth of the matter is, I don't know what we are...All I know is that I want to spend most of my time with him and he seemingly wants to be with me too...Let me just enjoy this...I know you may think I deserve better than this, maybe I do but patience is still a virtue and as what Jasmine keeps on saying: things will unfold eventually but right now, JUST ENJOY!

UNWANTED

Last night we had a talk. And the uncertainty was brought into the table. You were concerned of us hanging out affecting my dating other guys. Come on...I'm not stupid and they are not either. If they really, really like me they would get any chance to be with me regardless of me hanging out with you. I'm sorry if I'm such a hard headed fool but I am not really convinced that you asked that question out of mere concern. If I want to date other guys its my choice and I would have acted on it on my own. Maybe I would need a little help here and there but then again, if they want to be with me, I DARE THEM TO MOVE!

It pisses me off cause I'm trying to understand where we're getting here but all we do is run in circles. And now I get you don't want obligations, responsibilities and commitments. No strings. And you don't believe in relationships. Hello...Wake up friend, FRIENDSHIP itself is a relationship. I guess any bond that you form with another person that would entail you giving your time, effort and money is relationship. Even your dealings with your business associates is a relationship. You are a smart ass but sometimes your notion of things is insensible and stupid. Well don't let me be the judge of that because you are entitled to your own opinion.

I can go on blabbing about all this however this cannot get to you. YOU are not reading my blog.

I'm just so angry right now... KABOOM!

magnet

I can't believe how much I'm drawn to your presence. You don't seduce me, you're not that type. Well what exactly is your type? And besides I'm not easily seduced by looks. There is a possibility for words...but then again it depends...Even if I'm just sitting beside you, I feel safe and loved. Even if you are inches from me, I still feel you how much more than that?

I am sitting here on a Saturday night, listening to Clannad's I will Find You. And I feel my heart burst right this instant.

So what is the difference with this feeling now compared to the feelings I had before YOU?

It feels right.

And I feel that I am ready...It's been years..

Inlove with my Bestfriend

MJ's wedding was so beautiful it once again brought tears of joy to my eyes. It was very private and solemn, attended only by family and very close friends. I chatted with her first degree cousin who was also one of the readers and she revealed that MJ wanted only 50 people at her wedding. Then I thought to myself, I wanted that number too - if ever I'd get married - then I thought again, my family is quite a huge bunch, so 50 heads would comprise only the bride's side of the family. Funny thought! MJ was very beautiful and radiant and the groom - lets call him - Colin Farrell, coz he looks like Colin, well even better looking than the actor himself - was very handsome. Good thing I didn't mess up the singing of the responsorial psalm considering I only made up the tune the night before the wedding. They've been friends for 10 years now and I believe a relationship that initially started with a strong foundation of friendship would surpass every obstacle and would flourish with the love that has grown along with it. I'm so happy and excited for my friend. She's currently one of the closest and most trusted friends I have today. Best wishes to MJ and Colin...

I want to fall in love with my best friend...Whoever that may be, I still have no clue. But I'm hopeful...I remember writing something like this in my diary:

Even if I've been hurt so many times that my heart keeps on breaking into pieces, at the end of the day, I'd still want to fall in love and let love put my heart back together.

best wedding song...

best wedding song...

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music fill the air
I'll put a flower in your hair
though the breezes through trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

Looking for a better me

Amidst all the pressure - work: catching up with all the updating of documents, audits, knowledge transfers, conflict with office mates trying to keep my temper afloat, trying not to lose my mind despite all the stupidity floating around - anniversary party preparations: I have again the opportunity to organize a huge event however too much load had placed on my shoulders upon learning that I'll also be part of those who would perform the grand opening number with a theme of MOULIN ROUGE. I know its an old movie but the song and dance combination is fit for our theme. And then there's personal issues. It seems that I'm struggling with all the emotions felt that sometimes I would think if I would be better off not caring. I could be like "The Monster" as what my officemate Bruno calls her. She doesn't care a single bit and I think she's happy. As opposed to me who according to "August" has this super hero complex, tries to help and do as much as I can. My main problem according to him is that I can't say NO. Am I one of those people who wants to please everybody? And so, amidst all these excitement in my life, I realize I should PAUSE, breathe in and out and reflect on who I have become for the past 1 year and 2 months that I have been working in my current company. I have been to places, seen different kinds of personalities, been with different types of crowd and yet I still question who I am now and what my principles are. I'm still searching for the better ME. Could be one of the reasons why this heart hasn't settled yet...As opposed to all those who are getting married next month! Picture below is where I want to disappear to when I can't take it anymore...That would be the most selfish thing I could do...DISAPPEAR TO TRANQUILITY...

gratefulness

i wish i could tell you
how much i appreciate your existence
your words
your stare
your laughter
your frown
your teasing
your making my head spin with anger
your touch...
for letting me know
that somehow
in your own ways
you are there for me
that you will never let me be
lonely or sad
or feeling blue
from the bottom of my heart
thank you...

cold wind blowing

As I stepped out of the plane to the Amsterdam airport, we had to ride a transfer. I felt a chill in skin and I thought the whole country was airconditioned. The wind was cold but nice...Its the same wind blowing in Madrid but colder. Suddenly I miss home. People here don't speak English so all we do is sign language. But somehow we were understood. With a little bit of French I got by...

I miss my family.
I miss my friends.
I miss my co-workers.

Then I figured, I should enjoy this. Its a once in a lifetime opportunity to be here, now! I'll try to document every minute of my stay here. Adios!

BTW: shacks internet cost 6.20 Eur...darn!

Dreams do come true

My schedules' been quite full lately. It had been a week now since our summer outing and so far my tan lines are still visible but all the sun burnt skin already peeled itself off. There are still 2 more trips to look forward to: 1. Tagaytay and 2. Madrid, Spain (that is if our visa's are approved!)...Can you believe I'm traveling to Europe in about 13 days? And it hasn't sinked in yet. Although even for being considered to be one among the team to have training in Madrid is pretty awesome. Up to now I still can't believe it could be possible, that I could get to Europe and back pack towards France or Barcelona whichever is much cheaper. Anyways, let's not get too carried away here. I'm still in Cebu and I haven't even planned out my wardrobe yet. hehehe...
Okay so Tagaytay...Although I have been to Manila 3 times already, twice this year in a span of 1 month, I haven't gotten near Tagaytay. And what's more is that I'll be attending my first every Toastmaster's District Convention. Better gear up my English coz I bet most the people who'll be attending the convention are going to be awfully talkative. And I'm pretty excited coz I'll be hanging out with, let's call him August, August Rush...Why? Because he loved the movie and I loved the movie and music's one of the reasons that brought us two together...Amongst a lot of other things...But then again he's another story...
I'm very happy to report that I've lost a couple of pounds without putting effort into dieting or exercising...What in the world did I do??? I played pool - I have games every Tuesdays and Thursdays @ City Sports Club, stayed in the office late and get myself engrossed with work and fund raising initiatives.
And there's photography...I met another friend, actually she was my classmate in French 101. We're kinda similar in so many ways, independent, hardworking, domineering and thoughtful. She loves drinking tea as much as I do and delves in alternative music. And lately we share another passion: photography! Her name is Jasmin and lately she has become my trusted friend, confidante and mentor. She lent me her Nikon DSLR camera so that according to her I'll be inspired to buy my own. We took lotsa pictures during our APC (Accenture Photography Club) outing (this is one of my favorite shots) which I'm also proud to report that I won second place and had a blast this afternoon when we had our lighting class in Family park. She's like the older sister I never had...
And she's a movie addict like me...I'll post her picture as soon as I'll be able to download it from the cam.

Data Work, Barobaybay Fund Raising, photography, music, movies, billiards, August, family - Aunt Linda, Aunt Baggy and Ping are coming home on May1...yepee...They're the one's keeping me busy... And with constant prayers, faith in oneself and belief in my ultimate maker, I know I can create opportunities for myself and make all my dreams come true, one step at a time...

Toodles

fogged glasses

Life has its way of turning things around, funny coz I always thought that if I laugh today I may cry tomorrow. That has been my belief since I was in high school. It's not pessimism but more of realism that drives me to think that way. Yet the past few days have been quite emotional for me. A simple movie, song or even phrase drives me to tears. I can' t quite explain the feeling, trusting someone with your heart and finding out that they're all the same, God-fearing, sensitive, surprisingly consistent, caring and sincere. Yet they always find ways to somehow rip a portion of your heart into tiny bits and pieces until you bleed no more. And what's worse is that I am aware of Mrs. Roosevelt's words of wisdom: Nobody can hurt you with out your consent. With these words it seems there's no one else to blame but myself and that makes me even more angry. I don't want to be consumed with this wrath, it turns me into a ticking bomb, 4 3 2 1...KABOOM! But once again I have reached boiling point, people messing around, thinking that my smile and my words of escape are one, yet I was merely putting being defensive lightly. If I say stop and smile does that mean that I want them to go on? Should I be angrier and fiercer so that they would believe a single word I'm saying? I'm riding the jeepney alone thinking that this is just one of those days, where I'm not in the mood to be teased, to be humiliated - not that I'm ever up to it -, to be put on the spot, to be fed to the wolves. I'm tired and my crying nights are getting recursive. What am I to do?

A couple of phrases that brought about this emotional rampage:

-when you forgive, you love. and when you love, God's light shines upon you...-
-happiness is real when shared-

Tomorrow's going to be another day, hopeful less disappointments and less heartaches...

Juno steps it up...

Alright basically if you notice my title, you'll figure out that its 2 movie titles...Yep I'm kinda into piracy since I'm one of those who buys pirated DVDs. Well I try to watch those movies on the big screen but sometimes I miss em coz of work or short on budget so instead of waiting 48 years for the VCD copy to come out in VideoCity, the nearest friendly video rental store, I'd buy em in the streets...Of course making sure that they're DVD copies coz our DVD player's kinda sensitive...

Quelle mooshe te pique? - What's gotten into you? in this case, what's gotten into me?

I've been dying to watch Step up 2: The streets since my brother told me of such a sequel. Last week I watched Flo Rida's music video for Dirty Low in youtube just to get a glimpse of how the movie would go...I didn't regret dragging my mother to the busy streets of Colon just to buy a DVD copy of the movie. Its awesome in so many ways...Although the plot nothing out of the ordinary but the dancing and choreography is spectacular. Its so timely since we're on our nth week of hiphop class and even before I heard of the movie, I was planning on doing a choreography of my own for Dirty Low...I know such an ambitious girl...Now where would I insert that into my hectic schedule? Hmm... I still believe that if there's a will, then there should be a way...If you're a dance fanatic like me, you might want to check out: KABA MODERN and JABBAWOCKEES in youtube. Their choreography is out of this world! I'm pretty sure, those dancers in USC are downloading youtube videos in the net. Their steps and choreography are freakishly eccentric.


I still hadn't answered the question, in French...hehehe...Well you know that feeling you get when you hear a nice song with heavenly melody and touching lyrics, you'd want to write one yourself?Then you start writing poetry and a day after you strum your guitar and put a tune or two into your poetry...That's how I felt when I saw the movie. I've been dancing since I was like 2 years old and although there was a moment in my life when I thought I'd given up on that dream, here I am not dancing for some contest or presentation but I'm just dancing for me. One thing I've learned from my Senior Manager: Darwin, he said its okay to have tons of interests as long as you figure out which one of those your good at and stick to it. Well I'm placing dancing on top of my list. There's still 2, 3, 4 and 5 to fill out...

Now what does Juno have to do with all of this? Well the movie is full of brilliant dialogs. Not to mention she's an epitome to this generations' highly empowered women. Its a witty, touching and hopefully movie about a 16 year old girl's pregnancy. I wanted to write a review for this movie but the laziness kicked in considering the fact that I'm back to work tomorrow and I've checked my work mail, we do have one task from our boss in Spain. Anyways, here are some write ups about this movie...

• Movie Review: Juno

• What "Juno" Says About Teen Pregnancy, Abortion and Choice

If you're interested in watching, you can borrow my DVDs...ohhh I'm spreading the virus. This is one of my many addictions. MOVIES...Can't live with out them...Till then bloggers...toodles...

Je suis fatigue. Je desire sommiel. Au revoir. Voyez_vous bientot.

Good Friday

It's Good Friday but here I am still facing the computer after I've figured out why my front USB ports are not working anymore. I kinda promised myself I'd clean my CPU, optimize my hard disk, free up some space -- if its possible, arrange my folders and so on and so forth...And I have to upload pictures both in APC (Accenture Photography Club) sharepoint and also in my multiply site. We're supposed be abstaining from the things we normally do which includes browsing through the net and anything that has to do with computers. But I have no other time. I can barely open my eyes when I get home from work so I'd grab this chance at a holiday and get another part of my cyber world going.

March -- another pretty exciting month. Got tons to look forward to. One is the Diversity seminar which will be on March 29th and the Accenture Cebu Beach Volleyball Tournament on March 30. Plus there's my ongoing Hip-hop class which by the way is like icing on my cake. Heck I get to dance again and practice my craft. Yepee...I'm so happy...

I'm supposed to change templates every month. Hmmm... I hope I can still do that considering all the work and non-work activities in the office.

I can already feel the heat of summer...Another season to look forward to besides my turning 24!Argggg....Can't believe it...I thought I'd like to get married at that age but now that its fast approaching, I think I'll postpone it and would take my financial stability as basis for my readiness to get married. Of course having an actual spouse is another thing...I'm kinda working on it...nahh joke! hehehe...I'm just taking it one step at a time and if life throws me the chance to be with that one man I love, I'd probably cross that bridge when I get there!

I'm still learning photography, music, time management, people management and a whole lot of personality improvement techniques...I hope I can grasp all these knowledge and use it to my advantage.

Toodles...

rubber band

Rubber band is a short length of rubber and latex formed into a loop. Its of course elastic and durable. But it also has its limit to the point that if you stretch it too much, it will break off...

Work has been great in the sense that I have been kept busy, pretty much engaged but still able to attain the much valued "work life balance". This is one of the reasons why I haven't been blogging lately. And the rest, well... let's just say I'm living life!

Two major events this February that happened in the past weeks have been:

Valentines Day
One of the most dreaded day. But if finally came with the hope that it wouldn't be the same as last year or the year before! Surprisingly, the night before I received some flowers from Joel, my cube mate. They were callalily flowers. The kind of flowers I liked. He gave them to 7 girls in the office including myself. He has been such a great cubie and I really appreciate all his help and time when I needed someone to chat with. I told him, he's future girlfriend (since he's still single) would probably be very pampered and lucky to have him as a boyfriend. Hope guys could be as thoughtful as him. I also received chocolates from Mommy Wheng (she's my confidante in terms of work and the pet peeves) and lastly Cadbury chocolate from hmmm...SECRET! Happy thought!
I finally realized how great the feeling is if you won't expect and it all just comes as a surprise. At the end of the busy and tiring day, I went home to my family happy and contented. I just wish we could've had more time to hang out that day. Of course it would just be dinner. But then again, any time spent with him is important to me.


BORACAY!!!
The following day we were off to Boracay. Took a flight from Cebu to Kalibo, Aklan! Rode the coaster from Kalibo to Caticlan and finally a pump boat ride from Caticlan to Boracay. Another never-have-thought-I-could-be-here moment. A dream come true. The sand was so fine and the company I was with - maia, ipay, rhea, edu, jon, bing, andy, canence, sly and che - were great bunch! All the time I was there, I couldn't help but think how I wish someday I could bring my family here to enjoy the beach. It was an island with a long stretch beach and lotsa people in beach shorts and bikinis. More on this on the next blog!

The week after I'm back to being a rubber band. There were times I was to break but then I bounced back to being a loop. I am elastic and durable! I should get through whatever turmoil and stretching there could ever be...

Pet Peeves

I'm not the type of person who holds grudges. If you cross me just give it at most a day for me to recover and the following day, everything's back to normal. But this time, this pet peeves' voice keep ringing in my ear. Her high pitched complaints, her swearing and even her evil laugh haunts my dreams. I'm supposed to just shut it and go on with my work and the rest of my life but she's every where. She's just actually across me...How can I avoid commenting when every time she speaks she makes a fool of her self trying to make a fool out of everybody. Yes what we've got here is a miss-no-it-all b*tch! I should slap myself for trusting her with things about me not expecting that she might use it someday to embarrass me in front of everybody. But I let that point pass because its not too destructive of my reputation. But then comes arguments with regards to work. Trying to set professionalism into play, I calmly explained my side trying my best to sound patient and calm but then her selfishness paved way to her stupidity and waived her capacity to comprehend the process of what we are doing. Steam was coming out of my ears and my face was red and I felt like I was having a fever all of a sudden. Instead of arguing more which by the way I so dislike, I walked away. I went first to Louise's cube to vent out silently, cried a bit to let the steam off and then went to Rhea's cube to laugh it off. Somebody saw me crying and asked. I was tempted to give a bit of what happened and it turned out the entire people in the office well except for her so-called ally disliked her attitude. Then I realized I pity her, she might have friends but someday, they may also leave her because of her bad attitude and foul words.
We'll be having our training for Advanced Smartforms and Advanced IDOCs next week so I won't probably be able to chat and answer emails right away. I'll probably stay as far away from her as possible. There goes my pet peeves for the week... I hope it'll be better next week.

s i n u l o g

I'm pretty excited for Sunday's event. Not only will I be back in celebrating Sinulog - for the past 2 years I've spent it either working on a project or working as an agent - I am more or less participating in it. We'll be covering the event. I'm lucky I got in the Accenture Photography Club and well we have extra perks like getting a Sinulog Photographer's ID for free. Well the company shouldered the expenses so all we have to do is take extraordinary pictures. Whew, such a challenge since I'm still a beginner. Before, I thought its all about perspective and that right timing in capturing the moment. But then after attending the Photography 101 class with Ed Canuto, I realized getting proper lighting makes a huge difference. Then comes aperture, ISO and shutter speed. And that even if you don't have that DSLR (Digital Single Lens Reflex) camera, its merely a point-and-shoot type, just make sure that you have manual settings on it so that you can adjust the 3 important settings. Its going to be tough considering there'll be a lot of people in the streets. But the crowd, the heat and the long winding road won't stop me in enjoying this moment.

PIT SEÑOR!

Just another typical day?

You might wonder why of all the things that happened to me why I should blog about this. Well for one this is a first for this year. 2008. Year of the RAT. It's our year. It's MY year! And as I watched the fireworks on New year's eve, I can't help but feel this huge sense of hope. It feels good to be hopeful, to be looking forward to the vast unknown. Not only am I hopeful but I'm also optimistic that something wonderful will happen this year.

Okay so back to the topic, I got asked out. I know at almost 24 this is such a lame story to feel tingles about. But just give me this chance to let it out.

The guy:
He was my classmate in 4th grade. He said we were friends but unfortunately I didn't remember. I got curious about him because he remembered more stuff about me in 4th grade than I do. It's weird, he even remembered me giving myself a code name of ICEBOX! Anyway he works in EPSON now as a software engineer.

The move:
We texted. Actually he keeps forwarding text messages and sometimes I'd say hello. On a Thursday morning I did after receiving a forwarded message. Then he said he has a delayed Christmas gift for me. I was shocked, didn't expect a gift this late and not one from him. And so he said he wants to give it to me Friday. So that would mean we'd meet up somewhere. He suggested IT park but I declined and suggested Ayala, much nearer to the office. And so there it was, my first official date for the year.

The fear:
We're not that close. I don't usually go out with guys whom I'm not familiar with. I don't usually go out with guys alone. But he's supposed to be my batch mate in elementary, what's there to fear? I am a people person who can converse to different types of people of different age. So why was I so apprehensive about it?

The aftermath:
We met up at national bookstore because I had the urge to buy a book and ended up buying 2: The Living Word, a daily devotional and Pride and Prejudice. We ate dinner at KFC. We pretty much talked about work and the past. He's good company. And surprisingly I relaxed and chatted my heart out. We walked back to our building because I had to turn off my PC before we rode a taxi home. He invited me for a night out but I once again declined. Dropped him off at Mango. I know I should get a life but I'm sick and its such a huge hassle to go out late. When I arrived home we texted some more and ended up asking each other questions. It was good friendly date.

Lessons learned:

I shouldn't doubt my ability to carry myself before anybody
especially when I go out on dates.
That people go out on dates because they want to see the other
person and learn more about them.
That its good to expand my horizon and know more people
outside my circle and outside my office.