fogged glasses

Life has its way of turning things around, funny coz I always thought that if I laugh today I may cry tomorrow. That has been my belief since I was in high school. It's not pessimism but more of realism that drives me to think that way. Yet the past few days have been quite emotional for me. A simple movie, song or even phrase drives me to tears. I can' t quite explain the feeling, trusting someone with your heart and finding out that they're all the same, God-fearing, sensitive, surprisingly consistent, caring and sincere. Yet they always find ways to somehow rip a portion of your heart into tiny bits and pieces until you bleed no more. And what's worse is that I am aware of Mrs. Roosevelt's words of wisdom: Nobody can hurt you with out your consent. With these words it seems there's no one else to blame but myself and that makes me even more angry. I don't want to be consumed with this wrath, it turns me into a ticking bomb, 4 3 2 1...KABOOM! But once again I have reached boiling point, people messing around, thinking that my smile and my words of escape are one, yet I was merely putting being defensive lightly. If I say stop and smile does that mean that I want them to go on? Should I be angrier and fiercer so that they would believe a single word I'm saying? I'm riding the jeepney alone thinking that this is just one of those days, where I'm not in the mood to be teased, to be humiliated - not that I'm ever up to it -, to be put on the spot, to be fed to the wolves. I'm tired and my crying nights are getting recursive. What am I to do?

A couple of phrases that brought about this emotional rampage:

-when you forgive, you love. and when you love, God's light shines upon you...-
-happiness is real when shared-

Tomorrow's going to be another day, hopeful less disappointments and less heartaches...