the world is too small for me...

I had nothing to do since finally America decided to celebrate their Christmas and stopped calling for tech support. So once again I browsed through the world wide web and to narrow it down, I browsed through the wide selection of Friendsters.

While I was reading through the testimonials of his relatives, I found out that I have seen his cousins near our place. I think we belong to the same barangay, go to the same Church and well actually bumped into each other several times before. I remember smiling at them thinking that they seem to look so damn familiar. Then I found out that my second degree cousin JP are classmates with his cousin. And weeks before I found out that the cute gay guy who smiled at me during "peace be with you" while I was attending mass with my mom is also his cousin. You see how interconnected I am to his world? How can I try to let go of the notion that we fit in the same world? I know you would tell me again not to think about it but the world is getting smaller and it becomes more complicated on my part.

There is something terribly wrong with the picture now. His sister would text me out of the blue. I'm pretty sure that she has lots of friends to communicate with but then she still remembers to send me a "hello" every now and then. I'm making this such a big deal. But she basically doesn't know anything about me. We just talked in person during his graduation. We do text but still not enough for her to consider me as a friend. Well, don't get me wrong because I am grateful for the bond that I have formed with his sister. Its just seems weird sometimes.

You know when I miss him so much?

--when I hear the songs he likes...
--when I look at the sky and see the stars and remember the saying that we are under the same sky looking at the same moon...
--when I see cool pictures at deviant wanting to share it with him knowing that he loves photography as much as I do...
--when I eat pizza especially if I'm alone thinking how he would have enjoyed the treat...

This is getting way tambien(as per my Canadian chatmate Elmo) -- (too) complicated and weird for me...Can I handle this without going crazy?

anyway...



I enjoyed eating the jelly beans my TL is sharing...Its really yummy and I'm going to add it to my list of favorite foods...yum!