Blog 2: Nonchalant things...

I have been listening to tons of music at the office lately...
It wasn't really properly defined whether it was allowed or not allowed but since its one of the things that keeps me alive during my shift even if I have the purple bone pillow Ben gave me 2 Christmases ago at my back, I still keep my head up and face towards the monitor.

My officemates would wonder what I was doing because like last week they were all sleeping on their cubes and I was busy listening to music and reading blogs! At least our VP didn't catch me sleeping in my cube. But the earphone is still plugged to my left ear with my headset also on the other side as he said "What's happening here???!" uh oh! Then he sent an email to everybody...
M E M O R A N D U M mania...

And I'd like to answer Doyle's tag...

No Doyle, its not a guy issue this time...Its more like an issue with myself. YOu know how sometimes even if it seems that you have all the things you need in life, how you still feel empty and lost? Well I just went through that phase lately. Maybe its because I kinda lost track of how much I used to appreciate everything else around me. How I used to be thankful for whatever small blessing I have. I used to be so grateful, making the most of what I have. And that thing about my cousin ignited that questioning in me. She triggered a spark plug in me that got me paranoid for a day or two. But I'm at peace with myself now. I believe I will still encounter these issues but then I know I will fight it through prayers. So anyways Doyle, The GUY, you know who he is, is not the issue...It was me all along...

And I kinda took your advise of not thinking so much of the things people do. Surprisingly I'm back to the music business. With a headset and music match in my computer, I'm good to go.



I'm building rapport with my current team mates... Lately, I've been eating breakfast with my team mates even with our TL. And I didn't regret on going over time last Thursday night coz I had such a good laugh with Jackie and Ryan. Lucky for us it was Thanksgiving in the States so there were less calls. We ended up talking and joking around at our unending bloopers due to being so sleepy...

sample:

BLOOPERS1: instead of "Internet Tech Support, this is Lauren..." I said "Internet Explorer, this is Lauren..."


BLOOPERS2: lately our QA advised to use the first name of the guest in dealing with them, but when we started in this current account, our VP told us to use either Ma'am or Sir... So here goes Ryan, " Can I have your first and last name please, Okay thanks can I call you Paul?...[silence, waiting for approval from guest and guest happily approves]...Yes Sir..."


BLOOPERS3: Jackie asked the guest to pull up the command prompt so that they could get the guest's IP address. So Jackie goes, "Okay click on start, then click on RUN. On the run window type in ipconfig." Then guest on the other line says that windows cant find the path specified. So Jackie tries again saying "Ok type in i-p-c-o-n-f-i-g and then hit Ok button." Guest still says he's receiving an error message. Jackie who's now a bit pissed says, "Alright let's try it again I for india, P for peter...[so on..]." Good thing guest is patient is luckily for Jackie a non-techy kinda guest so the guest just obliged and continued typing in then says he's still receiving the same error message. Jackie who then realized that she's doing it incorrectly, the said "Ok on the run window type in cmd, c for charlie, m for mary and d for delta." The guest said "You didn't tell my that earlier!" So the guest is not that stupid after all...Then Jackie says "I thought I did, so now let type in IPCONFIG on the black window!"...


I know if you read this its not that funny but when were there when two of my officemates told the tale of how they embarrassed themselves in dealing with the guests, you would have laughed your head off! Its really hilarious that I admittedly told mine also.

So I would end my blog again,
with a smile and a light feeling
because I have set free of my inhibitions.

Blog 1: midnight horniness...

A couple of days back, my officemates added me to this conference in MSN messenger. - by the way, this picture is courtesy of DEVIANTART.

TOPIC1:
Are you perverted?

TOPIC2:
What sexual position do you like?

TOPIC3:
needles, peanut butter and tobleron ( will just elaborate later...)

To my surprise, the people on the conference are a mixture of single non perverted women, married women, married man, innocent sweethearts, our supervisor - who's also married, perverted single woman and many unidentified feeling horny individuals.

I was laughing the first night at how silly it is for us to be arguing about these kinds of stuff on IM wherein I'm pretty sure most of those who are on the conference doesn't have experience yet. Aside from those who are married already, I'm assuming that most of us here are virgins. But then again, who knows...

So about the needles, peanut butter and the tobleron...


NEEDLE - one of my officemates made a joke and referred the guy's "birdie" to a needle. I'm not really sure if the size of the needle is relevant but from then on, most people her referred to that part of the topic for the night as "needle".




PEANUT BUTTER - this is the only spread available in the pantry so this was the only food they could think of for the foreplay part...Imagine using peanut butter for foreplay...its so icky...I wonder why they came up with that idea...I wasn't actually paying attention to the conversation because I was busy fixin my friendster template and looking for something to blog about.



TOBLERON - to this part, I guess its still part of the foreplay...I'm not really sure what it has got to do with the whole thing coz once again I wasn't paying attention...



so what's the point of this blog? right?


My point is, people in this company tend to think of crazy stuff just keep themselves alive, awake and enthusiastic... Its just a matter of open-mindedness and maturity in handling this kind of conversation. If its your first time, then you'll really feel embarrassed and would blush at the thought but then again, as what one of my office mates told me as they added me back to the conference when I opted to leave, "Lauren you have to know..."

The second night we were on the conference, I was already bored on the same topics. It seems that they're just going around in circles, trying to pinpoint as to who it the most perverted. Then somebody dared them to stop using words and act on it and the conference ended...

I actually Xed out of it because I found this cool website that I could read novels from Dan Brown and Michael Crichton. And while reading through I'm listening to the cd that Doyle gave me which has cool coldplay videos and mp3s not to mention the Radiohead albums...which brings me to...next blog please...

of books and music...

I have been blog hoppin' for several days now and what I've come to realize is that I am not alone in feeling confused...That there are so many others like me who seemed lost. But then I am finding comfort in books and songs and artists like Coldplay, Snow Patrol and The Fray. Music really relaxes my nerves and reading lets me forget things, takes me to different places. And besides Catherine Coulter's books are so fast paced that you can hardly put the book down. Maybe if I weren't answering phone calls and troubleshooting internet connections on different platforms, I'd like to be a crime investigator like Agent Sherlock.













My office mate JP and my best guy friend Doyle have been so generous to me feeding me my daily dose of alternative music. And I still have tons of books at home waiting for me to dust them off and turn the page.

I figured this is my sabbatical...if you're asking from which or from whom...well telling it here on my blog would defeat the purpose.

John you're right, he has his own life to live and I have mine. It may seem dragging at times but I do have a choice to let it be or do something to make it --let's just say-- more exciting and adventurous...

But I'm definitely through with getting drunk. It never happens and I end up getting allergies. I'll try Doyle's way of living...Straight Edge...Now what the heck is that?

From my ever reliable friend: Wikipedia...Here goes...

Straight Edge (sXe, SxE or "Edge") refers to a lifestyle, a personal commitment, a social movement, and a subculture that is closely associated with hardcore punk music. Straight edgers abstain from tobacco, alcohol, and recreational drugs. Additionally, many straight-edgers also abstain from medicinal drugs, promiscuity, and animal products.

Not that I'm into hardcore punk rock music entirely but its more like I'm going to adopt the lifestyle of straight edge...

But for the very reason of practicality I think I'll just have to start with doing away with tobacco (never will smoke), alcohol (try my best not to drink - even on parties) and any recreational drugs (hahaha as if!). I can't live without medicinal drugs because I have awful allergies that cause my sinuses to swell and there goes my sneezing and tear dropping moments again!

And as for the animal products, I eat whatever is provided for me so if my family's having meat, I should eat or else I'll starve. I don't usually eat in the office, I donate my food to the poor guys who have such appetite that one lunch box is not enough -- growing boys or rather men... And besides I love to eat meat. But if I were to choose my food, I would definitely go for chicken and tuna then bring on the vegies...

So in a month or so I'll see if I am able to live the straight edge way of life!

Well so much for food, it makes my stomach churn...TUNA SANDWICH...its going to be payday tomorrow...watch out!

I love life...
I live life and love it!

till then...chow!

What do you look for in a guy?

-good sense of humor, sensitivity, wits, thoughtfulness
>>>this was in one of the surveys I answered way back in 2003...

some random quiz that occupied my idle time while I wasn't taking calls...

Men See You As: An Attainable Challenge

You know how to make your man crave more of you But you also know when to show some interest back You're good at keeping your guy guessing And over time, you'll let him know how you really feel

Are You a Challenge?

JUST IMAGINING THAT I HAVE A GUY...

Your Guy Is Not A Player!

At least, all signs point to "negative" What your guy is: straight up, honest... And a one woman man. This one's a keeper - so hold on to him.

Is He A Player?

after attending mass yesterday, I was kinda enlightened a bit. The Gospel was basically about generosity.

GENEROSITY
>>> the priest said that generosity comes when even if a person has no more extra to give he still chooses to share what he has left to those whom he thinks needs it more than he does.

Now does genuine generosity still exist in our world?

Where's my Solace?

where is that place?
that I used to feel at peace?
I tried to find me in them
but all I see is confusion
a mixture of egos
all blended into one lie

I tried to find me in nature
but that is not my domain either
the wind touches my skin
but it still leaves me sad and weary

I tried to find me in music
and it soothes my soul somehow
but the words in poetry cuts like knife
on my already bleeding heart

I guess it only goes to show
that I need not question
that I need not search
that I need not walk that path
of trying to find me outside who I am

I still got what it takes

I went out tonight...Our supposed team building turned out to be just a night out with some of non-Janet team like Shine and her bf Pare, Tess and JP...don't know what happened to my 5 other team mates. I had too much laughter, a couple bottles of beer and a whole lotta cigarette smoke to my face and I'm all good...

Had several realizations...

~that if I'm with the right group of friends, I won't be lonely...
~that I don't easily give into temptation...
~that I still am not drunk with 2 bottles of red horse
~that if I try so hard, I can push my mind to delete his memory, even the very thought of his name
~that in fairness, when I looked at the mirror, even if I was a bit tipsy, I wasn't ashamed of what I saw...

As what John said in his tag that I only question my beliefs if I'm with a company who doesn't seem to agree to my beliefs...And I thought long and hard as to who exactly in my set of company contradicts or opposses my values...and guess who popped my mind...my cousin...TSAI...yep...we're of the same age, of the same family lineage, the same school except for college, used to have the same interest but totally differnt personality...We're completely opposite. And it hit me that the very moment we hanged out was the beginning of my soul searching.


But some other cause for this internal crisis is the very person who inspires me. The very guy who consumes most of my idle time, my mind, the songs, the pictures and the moments. Yep, and you want to know why he causes all this personal dilemma? Because I realized that I want to stop myself from thinking that I have fallen because I have not known what it is to really fall...


So to John who have become one of my trusted confidants, I am grateful because in spite of us not having to talk that much, me not a part of your world now, you have so generously given me a part of your time, to think things through...

To Angelie who have constantly read my blogs, thanks so much for being so honest and straight forward with your thoughts...


To all those who read but won't give a piece of their mind... I appreciate your dropping by...at least you cared to know how my life goes...

TO: him...
I don't want to fall if I'm not sure
I don't want to love you if I haven't found a part of myself

Who am I really?

Been having this identity crisis lately. I mean when I graduated from 6th grade I was really confident that I partly knew who I am already. I mean I don't question if I have the heart of a girl or a guy. Its pretty obvious that I'm not confused in that part of my identity. When I got to college I was more sure than ever of who I am because my faith was defined, it was tested and thus strengthened. The ultimate confusion that I have with myself is that the values on which I grew up with, the values which defines who I am seem to be shakey and questionable. It seems righteous and judgemental.

The real world frightened me due to the very fact that finally I was opening my eyes to the truth of humanity. What I discovered scared the hell out of me at the same time left me curious at the vast possibilities that lies ahead. Those of who are not that familiar with how my mind works would probably think of me as crazy...Crazy to question my own belief, my own values. But is it not the right thing to do? To question from time to time what we believe in?

So who am I really?
Or rather what am I?
What am I capable of?
What am I not capable of?
What do I believe in?

Can you see how lost I am right now?

I wonder if I'll ever be able to find ME...

image is from DeviantArt