i feel empty

That's what Merideth said in her bathroom talking to Christina when she learned that Derick's wife is in town, let alone working also in the same hospital they were working as interns. I know I watch too much of Grey's Anatomy but I can't help it. I feel like I have to know what's gonna happen next. I don't actually relate to the character's situation but I can surely relate to how they feel.

NOw why in the world do I feel empty?

For one it just occured to me that it has been a month since I quit my job for a more promising career in Accenture, or so I believe. But up to know I still don't have a start date. And because of my total freak out over this and over the million people who kept asking me when I'm going to Manila, I decided to apply for a job here in Cebu. Imagine my dilemma when I called our recruiter in Accenture and confirmed that I am still on this and that they're processing my papers now. As per the recruiter: "Maghintay hintay lang po tayo kase priniprocess pa po namin ang application ninyo...Huwag lang po tayo mainip!" Well I can't blame me for being anxious not having heard from them in weeks after mailing the contract and requirements. I wasn't expecting a phone call but an email could have erased any doubt from my mind that I do have a job in Accenture.---- to make things simpler ---- I AM STILL JOBLESS!

Next reason why I feel empty is that it seems that I have lost that lovely feeling... I don't want to say it out loud because the last time I did that I fell harder than before, ended up eating my own vomit~ imagine that~. I'm trying to assess whether the feeling is still there or not. And what's funny and creepy is that he didn't just appear when I was already in 5th year but he was there since I entered college. I just didn't acknowledge his presence. As I was reading my diary to those times I've already forgotten, a lot of things hit me. There were a lot of could-have-beens but I was such a coward to admit that my dear friend has indeed fallen for me. The moment I realized that I ran away, drift off to another dimension of friends. When I got back to earth, they were still there but once again, that lovely feeling they had for me was gone, gone with the wind! Maybe the next time somebody asks me why I don't have a boyfriend yet I would admit that I wasn't ready yet.

QUESTION IS:

Am I ready now?

nota bene...

to be able to read the continuation of what I like or is looking for in a guy please refer to my FEBRUARY 3 post... I just edited it now...unfortunately it was saved on that day...so...

I can feel the summer heat...

I'm trying to look for another template for my blogspot. I know shame on me, I keep on saying that I will practice Dreamweaver but up to now, I still don't have my own design for my blogspot. Uhh...As what I've told Doyle last night, I'm not an artist by nature. Don't get me wrong, I love art and I know how to appreciate one and got some taste into it but unfortunately for me, nature doesn't connive to my love for art. It didn't give me the skills to create art. But I'll try my very best now that I don't have a job except for doing the habitual house hold chores.


My mom loves me around. She keeps giving me this listed tasks to accomplish in a day... And I do have a list of task from our former or shall I say current (because we won't probably change anymore) president: Fame. We're trying to finish our yearbook and since most of them have day jobs, I do most of the editing. Shockingly enough, I learned a lot from the profiles and descriptions that my other batch mates gave to each other. Pretty cool way of knowing who he/she really is. I'm quite glad I volunteered as yearbook committee although, as secretary for the last school year we had, it was actually one of my obligations. Talk about me still active in this kind of stuff where I have long graduated from college. Its almost a year now. If I remember correctly we graduated on March 25, 2006!

And so I reminisce...



The weather is intolerable. Its getting quite hot that sometimes I'd like to imagine myself in a beach somewhere, holding a can of ice cold soda while dipping myself in a nice jacuzzi. Ahh daydreaming again...

We're planning on going to Bantayan to celebrate Ian and Karl's birthday as well as reunite with the rest of the ball manipulators. I miss hanging out with them. Cathy would hopefully be in Cebu by then. Louise is already having some preliminary plans but we have to think this through because for one, we don't know the place...

and so I reminisce some more...


This was taken when we were in Moalboal...such a nice beach...I'm currently listening to UPDHARMADOWN and let me just say, I love their music. Its cool, relaxing and yet thought provoking. Thanks to this site: mackymarc
I have the entire album...you should check it out and listen to their tunes...


And finally, my last project is to choreograph a dance...wish me luck!

Later dudes and dudettes...

Goodbye Lauren, Welcome back Vanessa

I'm here in one of the cafe's near our house trying to get a hold of the list of my contributions for SSS but unfortunately their website: www.sss.gov.ph is not accessible so it would mean I'll have to try again tomorrow.

I finally resigned from my job... I'm not a call center agent anymore, thank God! I've had enough of phones, answering phones, getting pushed around by people I don't know and I can't even see. They seem to be pretty impressed that I can speak straight english considering I'm not in the states and I'm not American...

Well I'm trying to finish all the requirements for Accenture. I guess my career path is really in Manila, not in Cebu. After my second interview in EPSON, I didn't hear from them again. I was kinda hoping I won't get in...It seems scary to be deployed for a huge project involving embedded systems design and not being prepared. My review for C and the rest of what I was trying to accomplish like Flash and Php are put on hold since my computer's dead again. This time its the processor. This happened right after my brother installed iTunes! I tried to troubleshoot it myself but then my computer really died! :( I was even mortified when they told me that its the processor and that I had to change both my motherboard and my processor because Pentium 4 is already faced out! Fortunately I found a store still selling Pentium 4 processors. There's still life for my pc after all...

I'm back to my old self and better than ever. I'm ready to face another challenge in my life. I just felt sad leaving behind friends in CallTek. I have my batchmates, even if we were sent to different accounts but when we get together, we still have fun! My old team with Kate as my TL, my new team with Shine as my TL, not to mention my supervisor who was also my mentor and confidante, my friends from GTC and the breakfast club. I would really miss those crazy horror talks we have every morning over breakfast. But I'm also thankful that I'll be back to my old sleeping hours, I'll be able to see more of my family, well before I go to Manila that is...

And finally I'll be able to blog again. It has been so busy at the office lately that even if we have unlimited internet access, I can't write/type anything due to calls flooding in. And the last days of my stay there, they gave me a buddy to monitor and teach.

Well updates would have to end here because I don't want to spend too much on internet here at a cafe considering we are going to have broadband at home(finally!) as soon as my computers back!

so then people, welcome Vanessa back cause you'll be hearing much from her from now on!

chow!