Yep!I'm slowly picking up the pieces. I'm almost back in my game when all of a sudden I broke down. With just one person, who doesn't even seem to have an idea what I'm going through or what I've been through, who has her own set of issues, seemed to have the power to stir up the bottled feelings inside me. My cheeks were firing up and my head was about to explode. I rushed to the ladies' room, shut the door and poured like the sky did on that day which was yesterday, a Wednesday! Wednesdays are supposed to be awesome by my standards. But yesterday was different. Ashamed, vulnerable, sad, angry and hurt! I thought I had enough bullshit that people are giving me the past couple of weeks. Shoving the truth in my face like I'm some kind of rock who has no feelings. So everyday, every morning I wake saying to myself that "TODAY IS DIFFERENT FROM YESTERDAY, IT WOULD BE BETTER" and yet, there in that place where I need to be, to earn a living, I am faced with nothing but chains, pulling me down. I tried not to care, don't give a damn about what they think or do or say but somehow, these gremlins find their way into my vulnerable spot and there they tear up again the scotch tape that I slowly put on my heart to hold it together. People. Mean people. People, who even ignored are making the purpose of their lives to make someone else's life a living hell! But then again, nothing matters anymore with whatever it is that's going to happen in that place. I am paid to be there. Up until I find a way to get out, I will practice the secret of coping: non-existence. And at the end of the day, all that matters is that I am breathing, my family is happy and God is still in my favor! So I'm glueing the pieces now. Mighty bond it if I must. Wrap it with aluminum foil and put it in a box and then mail it to God. I'm sure He's better at keeping it safe and unscathed. Until someone finds a way through me...I am currently without feelings!
Hasta Luego!
