Good Morning to all...

I was supposed to go to the bank to get a check cashed but then my mom told me she'd be the one to do it...yepee...Midterms is almost over. Still go 3 exams next week or the week after that.
Weird coz last week I almost give up on everything because my body was so exhausted and Im so emotionally drained.

Anyway someone used my chikka account and well sent some "i love u" messages to those people in my account! I don't have a single idea who did it... Some sick weirdo perhaps who's got nothing to do with his life which might be a total wreck right now that he wanted to ruin other people's life! I took my java programming exam totally disturbed of what happened. Might as well forget about it and do some damage control!

I really love to dance but last night a huge dilemma caught me by surprise! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STRUT! It was like the most difficult routine I encountered! But as always I took it as a challenge coz hahaha...don't know I just feel like I can do anything as long as I put my heart and my mind into it.

I'm still playing this game of pretendings. Its like Im trapped in this! Gosh! It would sometimes seem that I was born to have a very lonely life...love life that is!
He sits beside me but his mind flies somewhere else...to that girl he used to know...he longs for her as much as I long for him...So I just looked at him knowing that I could have him as my company but I could never have his love or care or his attention for that matter...he is everything I wanted and more but I think God has a purpose for me...something much more than what I wanted...but for now I must detach myself from him...could that be possible?...they say nothing's impossible in this world...but why does it seem very hard for to let him go...yes he is my friend but Im tired of pretending that it doesn't bother me if he talks to me about ****...the bottom line is I AM HUMAN! Im not some robot who has no emotion whatsoever! so here I am, same ol' me, so I choose to hurt in silence and be grateful for what he could share to me...his DIVIDED attention... I know Im getting caught deeper into this and that I might get in trouble...but still I pray to God...I do not pray that he'd love me or that he'd choose me over ****(as if Im included in his choices!)but instead I pray that he'd be happy with her, that he would not be hurting, that she would inspire him to do more with his life...That's the least I could do aside from being around when he needs some company...How I wish I sat in another row 2 semesters ago...that we didn't talk and that we didn't get along...how I wish I didn't like music so much, that I had different interests...at least totally different than his...that I live somewhere else, near the school perhaps so that we didn't share those ride home and then get the chance to talk more...I wish we didn't have common friends...I wish all these things didn't happen...I might not be hurting right now...

But as what the great philosophers say: EVERYTHING HAS ITS PURPOSE!

and so I must accept my fate and live on with my life trusting in what the Lord has in store for me...

Take care....

You are always gonna be my love
Even if your affection may wander to another
You will always be inside my heart
I hope that I have a place in your heart too

Could this be the last straw of mine?Could I still endure this?Actually Im the only person to blame because I could not seem to let him go... I don't know why...I feel so strangled and well kinda betrayed but as what Benny said, I could not blame him...

I read something today in his phone and well even if it really crushed my heart out, I still smiled and teased...yeah right as if! God, IM SUCH A PRETENDER! To you who's asking, well here's my answer...

WE don't exist...there's never us in the first place...its just a result of misconception...

I still don't know how I could avoid him or should I?

If I do, would it mean breaking a strong bond of friendship?

Or are we even friends?

What a way of inspiring my midterm exams!

TSAI: Channel your energy for the greater Glory!

java_files
glynnee

Happy 20th Birthday to Gizelle Faye "Paypims" Sembrano!!!

I know it took me forever to blog again!its just that Im kinda preoccupied with a whole lot of school work and dance practice...

A lot of things happened... All I can say is that I have had my fair share of ups and downs that I think I'm on the verge of being emotionless...I don't know, the past events made me a stronger person!

As for my inspiration, well good thing is he still does inspire me...but as always I shrug the idea of him courting me out of my mind coz I know it will never happen...maybe not this time...