Horoscope for the day!

Dear Vanessa Linda,
Here is your horoscope
for Monday, February 5:

If you're genuinely interested in someone, go with it. After all, what's more charming than your fascination with them? Nothing, that's what. Any information you share now will further strengthen your bond.


Would it still strengthen our bond if I'll be leaving soon?

continuation to the guy thing!

Okay since I have pretty much defined mostly the physical aspect of my "ideal guy" let me try to point out some things I like in a guy on a peronality aspect.

• someone who has a good sense of humor.
• someone who I can easily talk to, that I'm comfortable with even if I would be trapped in an elevator with him for 24 hours, I would still feel safe.
• someone who can be trusted with my secrets
• someone who's responsible enough to think of his own future
• someone who's mysterious enough to be quite interesting.
• he should be interested in one of the following: music, movies and arts for us to click
• someone who will be proud of who he is but would be humble enough not to talk too much about it.
• someone who would give up what he's doing just to listen to my ranting.
• someone who would talk and I'd listen and would also listen if I talk.
  
• someone who is passionate in what he's doing
• someone who has compassion for the poor and oppressed
• someone who goes to Church at least on Sundays
• someone who has strong faith in God

so far those are the things that crossed my mind without focusing on a guy in my past whom I liked or the guy that I liked now. I know it would seem kinda biased if most of these descriptions pertain to the person I liked now. Maybe there is a pattern to all this likeness. A pattern I need to break for me to be able to "Find my one true love"...

please do not be fooled by the picture of Milo Ventimiglia on this post. I just liked his face and his character on Gilmore Girls but then he ended up being such a coward to really say what he feels to Rory up until the moment it was too late.

he has a pretty good role in Heroes though...better watch out for that.

to simply put it, I'm kinda into guys who are not so goody-goody...I have that image and that reputation...Our relationship would be such a bore if we're all too good...right?

and they say when it comes to boys I'm picky...

Okay, so I have finally admitted to myself that when it comes to guys I am picky... I mean come on, who isn't right? Don't tell me you don't have several things to consider before even thinking of saying yes to a date! I know that I'm supposed to go on massive dating to be able to know who my one true love is but does one really settle for someone who's there? Should one settle?

I know this is such a superficial criteria but what the heck...Here are the likes and dislikes, just in case someone who's interested blog hops and would consider dating moi!

• I definitely don't like it when a guy smokes. I mean I know smoking doesn't say everything that he is and he is not but due to my health problems, I'd stay away from those guys. I remember telling my best guy friend Doyle when we were still in college, sitting in the canteen: "Doyle, if I won't be able to meet a guy who doesn't smoke, I will never get married!" uh oh, seems like I'm on the track of not getting married Doyle!

• I'm so keen with teeth... I don't know, sometimes guys with good teeth also has clean nails and clean everything. I can't imagine talking to somebody with bad breathe, can you? I'm not saying he should have this straight-gone-through-braces kinda teeth but he shouldn't have bad breathe.

• He should have clean nails, not long nails. Being a rocker is not an excuse. I mean he could still be a rock star with short nails. Black painted nails are acceptable as long as its not long. And the nails on the feet should also be clean!

• He can have long hair as long as it doesn't cover his face. I even find this one guy nice looking and he has this long dreads on top of his head. That's because he still looks neat even if he had that kind of hair.

• I'm getting tired of having to be the one to take care of the other so I want for once in my life to be pampered. So here goes: he should at least open the door for me, be on the danger side of the road, let me go in the jeepney/taxi first, doesn't have to pull the chair for me but would definitely offer one if there are none left, would at least offer to pay for his half or for both if has the money and would at least have the decency to offer that he would take me home.

We're kinda receiving a lot of calls so I'll have to cut this short...comments people will surely be appreciated...thanks!

to be continued...

farewell tess...

My cousin left for New Zealand yesterday noon. I wasn't at the airport to send her off because I was too wasted and too sleepy to even open my eyes. Night shift job really sucks out all the energy from me.

WHO IS TESS?
Born August 12, 1984, she is named Marie Therese Labay Lambo by her parents Alastair Burgos Lambo and Concetta Salazar Labay Lambo. She is my 1st degree cousin from my father's side of the family. We basically grew up together. Went to the same school since we were nursery, were classmates from 6th grade to 3rd year high school. We were supposed to take the same course --Computer Engineering in TC but then she was convinced by my Uncle Joel to take up nursing and so she transferred to CDC.

And now she's probably trying to settle her stuff at the dormitory she'll be staying in for 5 weeks. She will still undergo training before finally working.

farewell tess...
i hope that i can still see
the goodness that you've always rendered to me
eventhough things are misunderstood
you'll have that soft spot in my heart...
I will surely miss
your smile, laughter and even the tears
i know you'll have a good life
just remember
I'll always be here...

the first edited pick that had a good feedback

new multiply account

I have a new multiply account:

Ad Astra

feel free to visit it...

what's instore:

pictures, music, events and more insanity!

a message from him????

You’re all smiles and silly conversation
As if this sunny day came just for you
You twist your hair, you smile, and you turn your eyes away
C’mon, tell me what’s right with you
Now it dawns on me probably everybody’s talkin’
And there’s something here I’m supposed to realize
‘Cause your secret’s out, and the universe laughs at its joke on me
I just caught it in your eyes, it’s a beautiful surprise

When did you fall in love with me?
Was it out of the blue
‘Cause I swear I never knew it
When did you let your heart run free?
Have you been waiting long?
When did you fall in love with me?
When did you fall in love?

Make your way over here, sit down by this fool, and let’s rewind
C’mon, let’s go back and replay all our scenes
You can point out the hints, the clues, the twists and the smiles this time
All the ones that slipped by me
I bet my face is red, and you can hear my heart poundin’
Well I guess it don’t matter now that I realize
‘Cause baby I missed it then, but I can surely see you now
Right here before my eyes
You’re my beautiful surprise

When did you fall in love with me?
Was it out of the blue
‘Cause I swear I never knew it
When did you let your heart run free?
Have you been waiting long?
When did you fall in love with me?
When did you fall in love?

Was it at the coffee shop
Or that morning at the bus stop
When you almost slipped, and I caught your hand
Or the time we built the snowman
The day at the beach, sandy and warm
Or the night with the scary thunderstorm
I never saw the signs
Now we’ve got to make up for lost time
And I can tell now by the way that you’re looking at me
I’d better finish this song so my lips will be free

Have you been waiting long, when did you fall in love
I kept you waiting so long, when did you fall
Have you been waiting long
When did you fall in love with me
When did you fall in love?

my horrorscope for today...

There's no telling what could grow out of a new relationship that gets its start today, so do not cast your hopes too far into the future. Taking each day as it comes is a real test of your patience, but it is the wiser way to go. Intimate friendships and true romances evolve over time. You will have to wait until the two of you are involved in more diverse situations before coming to any conclusions about who this person is or how he or she may affect your life.

MY WORST NIGHTMARE

I'm having a headache right now and I don't know why. Its still the start of my shift but then I want it to end now. I wanted to go to the hospital and be with my family. My brother was admitted because I found him lying on the restroom floor. I thought he slipped but then when I looked at him he was having a seizure. His fingers were clenched and his eyes rolled upwards and he was like gasping for air. I was in utmost panic, not knowing whether to shake him off or to keep him still till the seizure subsides. It was the most terrifying 60 seconds of my entire life. It was scarier than facing the panel members during our final run for defense, scarier than the ride home with someone drunk taking the wheel. When it ended I helped him up with all my strength and had him lay down on our coach. I called my mom right away because basically I didn't know what to do.

He seemed okay after and he didn't seem to remember what happened saying he just passed out. But the image of what happened keep playing in my mind and it always makes me want to cry. But then I have to be strong for my brother, my mother and my father. I can't show them that I'm scared to death and break down. I insisted on having him checked, get all the tests done just to make sure that he's okay, that he's healthy and that he still have 100 more years to live.

I love my brother eventhough he seems such a pain at times. But he's also fun to be with, he keeps me in pace. We're the same in most aspect, born leader, speaker; talented and artistic; but he exerted more effort in the things that we love. His passion is greater than mine so he had most of the awards. Without either one of my family I would be broken. I would live but then my soul and heart would die.

So ladies and gentleman, there you go. I have simply give away one of my greatest fears:
TO LOSE SOMEONE I LOVE!

My brother is okay now, he's still in the hospital waiting for Monday since he still needs a CAT scan and EEG. Although I really don't know what that is for but basically its to check the brain and its functionality.

I will from now on take care of my brother. Even if he's mean to me sometimes I would master up all my patience, compassion and love to take good care of him!

im not ready to cross that line yet...what does that mean?

Happy new year. Took me a while to update again either due to the lack of inspiration or just plainly can't think of anything to blog about.

After the new year, my life basically is the same. No drastic change there.

I have been drowning myself with reruns, mostly of the Dr.House series. Ahh...Dr. Gregory House is amazing. The entire diagnostics department is absolutely entertaining, which includes Dr. Eric Foreman - the irritating black guy who tries to be like House but could never live up to the standards because he can't stand up to his decisions and can't handle the consequences of his actions, Dr. Robert Chase - the cutie doctor who keeps on second guessing and who's also irritating me since he's such a tattletale, Dr. Allison Cameron - very pretty doctor who's madly inlove with House and although he's not officially part of the team but he still contributes mostly: Dr. James Wilson, the good-hearted oncologist who is House's sole confidant.

Aside from learning a lot of medical stuff which suprisingly doesn't bore me out, I also ran into a couple of realization and life lessons on the series.

But that is not the main reason why I decided to blog today...

Ever since I realized that I had my a rude awakening a couple of months after I hit the floor, it seems that reality keeps on hitting me hard more often than it should. I mean I've already told Cathy that I had a social awakening although I'm not really sure if I understand its meaning or if it applies to what I have discovered of other people's views on life and their reaction to the circumstances that have fallen upon their decision. What am I saying? Well as what I have told my office buddy JP, I realized that I was still too naive of things. That was the night after I drank with one of my batchmates and heard from her very mouth what despicable things she did. Its not that bad actually, its just me questioning the moral aspect of the actions. But lets not talk about her too much because its not my story to tell. But then heck it was still a huge shocker. And then I got over it. I was okay for a couple of weeks and then I questioned myself again. Its a battle basically between what is morally right and what is not. What does morality have to do with any of this rude awakening? Actually, its finding out that what I thought was morally incorrect is actually acceptable in this day and age. Then I go back to the blog furies I had before about me being judged as a moralist which for me was unacceptable. But then again setting the meaning of a moralist aside, should I consider myself a moralist? Is it such a bad thing?

And what does this soul searching got anything to do with the title of this blog?

Well I was supposed to have my first real date tonight but then he blew me off... And that was his reason: I'M NOT READY TO CROSS THAT LINE YET... I didn't for a second think or rather couldn't think. I mean I wasn't supposed to say yes to his invitation for coffee since I bailed out on my friends for dinner basically because I didn't want to rush after dinner going to work. And I wouldn't like the feeling of not getting enough time to talk and catch up. My apologies to Louise and Ian. Then he called and told me he wanted to have a little chat over coffee before my shift and well I did consider thinking it would be a good adventure and experience to go through. I admit I was a bit hesitant and excited at the same time. I know how pathetic of me.

Why hesitant? because he's not exactly the type of guy you want me to go out with. I mean I haven't actually fully defined my ideal guy but to be honest he's far from my ideal ideal guy...hehehe...

continuation....

So as I was saying this guy asked me to coffee and blew me off. I was expecting that but then I was even pissed at myself for believing this romance could happen to me NOW! I'm not saying that I'm getting pessimistic on that part but then again... So here I am, trying to get over the very thought of what happened. He did go to the office and he was like several feet away from me but then he could walk to my cubicle to talk to me and apologized but he didn't instead he IMed me and well he did say he was sorry.

I don't want to dwell more on this matter anymore. There I've written it and I'm so over!

I'm working in a CENTER!

As of the moment, I work in a center. Nope, not in a call center but just a center. Where we come here at around 8:30 pm just in time to turn on my computer, open my links, login to my IP phone and for almost 4 hours now, I'm still not receiving a single call. We are paid to surf the net, check our mails, check our friendster, myspace and multiply accounts. We are also paid to have a birthday bash and eat ice cream in the pantry. We are paid to listen to as many mp3s as we want and sometimes is paid to download depending on who you're talking about. What a job, right?

WHY AREN'T WE RECEIVING CALLS?

ANSWER: Earthquake in Taiwan

It was such an unfortunate event that happened because eventhough there were only 2 casualties but call center business here in the Philippines will be gravely affected by the tragedy. My only fear is that due to this we won't be coming in to work; which means we won't have salary. What a crappy thought...

Its almost the end of the year. Have I done enough this year? Am I the same person? or did I change like the tides?

I'll try to answer that in a couple of days...too early for answers, but not too early to be planning for the next year. I have got to start saving...That'll be the priority...The rest follows...

the world is too small for me...

I had nothing to do since finally America decided to celebrate their Christmas and stopped calling for tech support. So once again I browsed through the world wide web and to narrow it down, I browsed through the wide selection of Friendsters.

While I was reading through the testimonials of his relatives, I found out that I have seen his cousins near our place. I think we belong to the same barangay, go to the same Church and well actually bumped into each other several times before. I remember smiling at them thinking that they seem to look so damn familiar. Then I found out that my second degree cousin JP are classmates with his cousin. And weeks before I found out that the cute gay guy who smiled at me during "peace be with you" while I was attending mass with my mom is also his cousin. You see how interconnected I am to his world? How can I try to let go of the notion that we fit in the same world? I know you would tell me again not to think about it but the world is getting smaller and it becomes more complicated on my part.

There is something terribly wrong with the picture now. His sister would text me out of the blue. I'm pretty sure that she has lots of friends to communicate with but then she still remembers to send me a "hello" every now and then. I'm making this such a big deal. But she basically doesn't know anything about me. We just talked in person during his graduation. We do text but still not enough for her to consider me as a friend. Well, don't get me wrong because I am grateful for the bond that I have formed with his sister. Its just seems weird sometimes.

You know when I miss him so much?

--when I hear the songs he likes...
--when I look at the sky and see the stars and remember the saying that we are under the same sky looking at the same moon...
--when I see cool pictures at deviant wanting to share it with him knowing that he loves photography as much as I do...
--when I eat pizza especially if I'm alone thinking how he would have enjoyed the treat...

This is getting way tambien(as per my Canadian chatmate Elmo) -- (too) complicated and weird for me...Can I handle this without going crazy?

anyway...



I enjoyed eating the jelly beans my TL is sharing...Its really yummy and I'm going to add it to my list of favorite foods...yum!

Merry Christmas Darling

I spent my inevitable lonely Year 2006 Christmas at the CallTek office, taking a call and talking to some lady who had trouble connecting to the wireless internet. I thought I won't be getting a call but then boom, 2 minutes before 12 which was supposedly my meal break, my phone rang and the rest is history. The people around me were greeting each other, there are already fireworks outside and my groupies are having picture taking and I was taking a call... Well at that very moment, I felt like crying. It seems like I'm not part of the festivity. Its supposed to be a happy occassion but then I was there, and look at myself and felt sorry for me. I know sound so lame but Christmas for me is one of the most important family gathering. And for the first time, I wasn't there to distribute the gifts, I wasn't there to organize the games, I wasn't there to watch a movie with my cousins and talk till morning light comes. Times change, and time changed me. I know I will be able to cope with this and then I realized the moment passed by.

And I realized that if we dread something so much or we look forward to it, that moment will not be still, time will not freeze and we do move on.

Merry Christmas darling
tried to give you a ring
actually it was two
but I never got to you
Once again I gave my heart away
to a person who seems to have no interest
and I'm left hanging by a thread
holding my expectations abridge
when will I ever learn
when will I ever stop giving away
what is left of my heart on Christmas?

i miss those times...

I went out with my girlfriends Louise and Cathy yesterday... I realized I missed hanging out with them, talking about so many things. If we're together, we can't stop talking. Especially that Cathy, who's now working as a flight attendant for Qatar Airways has been traveling a lot so she(the most talkative of us 3) has a lot of stories to tell.

Our whole afternoon was spent eating and talking. At first Louise and I had lunch at Bigby's. I told her I'll just get a sandwich coz we're absolutely sure that when Cathy arrives, we'll be on our way to Starbucks. When we got our orders got 2 huge slices of twin cheese panini sandwich. O my gosh! And although I don't eat sandwiches in restaurants that much, but that was really yummy. I only ate one slice and then had the other one packed for take out. Cathy arrived shortly and thus begun her tale of both the good and the not so frightening experiences she had on her job. When she speaks she's really animated. hehehe ... I mean she uses her hands and you can really see her expression change as she tells the story. We continued our ramblings at Starbucks. Ian - Louise's boyfriend arrived shortly after we arrived and thus they started the teasing... Lousie's sister, Leah aslo hanged out with us. Here are some pictures...

from left: with Leah, Cathy and Louise @ Starbucks


from left: with Engr. Wilfrid Ian Tan, Cathy and Louise

Cathy's flying back to Doha on the 21st. Like me, she's not spending her Christmas with the family but working probably on plane to India. While I would be spending mine at the office, in my cube taking a call...*sigh*

Well I'll be missing Cathy till she comes home hopefully March of next year in time for Ian and Karl's birthday and our long planned and most awaited trip to Camiguin.

Then we had dinner at Chikaan, a Filipino restaurant near my office. These are the good times, talking and laughing with old friends. Alain(Cathy's boyfriend) and Karl joined us for dinner. I can't believe college years are over but I still get to keep my closest college friends. These people have become my family for the remaining years I struggle through college.

Here's a picture of the guys: from left, Alain, Karl and Ian.


And the girls: from left, me, Cathy and Louise.

Even if I didn't get enough sleep and was 15 minutes late for work at least I get to spend time with my friends and catch up on things. I miss them very much. I'm looking forward to our Christmas dinner and night out. Unfortunately Cathy won't be there. =( =)

Till next time...

My day gets weirder everyday...

I heard mass today and I liked the priest's homily. He was telling this story about a class having an exam in Math. He said most people disliked math. (well I've always liked math even if I almost failed in Differential Calculus!) The teacher told the students that they only have 30 minutes to answer the exam...Such a bummer, 30 minutes won't be enough. But then there was this one student who answered the exam in only 5 minutes. So the teacher asked him "how did you finish the exam in only 5 minutes?" The students said "I turned my head to the right and I saw a man. And so I solved the man and I was able to solve the world!"


At first I thought that the man the student was referring to is Jesus but then when the priest explained, the man is supposed to be ME. He said that we should try to solve ourselves first before trying to conquer the rest of the world. Point taken... But then he also said that in trying to figure out who we are, we lose ourselves in the process. And that's such a sad thought. But that's the reason why we need to PRAY. To be guided and enlightened in the journey of searching for who we really are. It is only by faith that we survive the perils of finding our true identity.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
he1 told me:
i never knew, i never knew that everything was falling thru...

so I asked:
what is it exactly that he2 told you about me?

he1 told me:
secret...i won't tell on him...

so I let the topic go...

when I got home, ready to sleep, he2 called...

he2 said:
let's have breakfast at tiffany's...

then I said:
thanks for the invite. but i already ate mine...sorry...

he2 said:
no biggie...

but he2 didn't say there was always a next time...that was it...

Then I ask myself: Is it always this complicated? Like do we always have to play cat and mouse in pursuing a person?

You would ask: Do you like him?

I would probably answer: I don't know, not yet...I could like him...

So I say there is always room for a possibility but the possibility flew even before it begun...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let Loose...

We had our company party last night and unfortunately for me, days before, I learned from my brother that our digi cam is not working. I didn't get the chance to had it fixed since I'm caught up with work and doing a panic shopping for our costume and my gift for our chris cringle for the company and manito manita for out batch. So I missed the night's fun of taking pictures and letting lose of the aspiring photographer in me... But then again here are some photos taken by my officemate JP!

These are some of the GS(GlobalSuite) Señoritas. We won 2nd place for the CallTek signature dance contest. For me, it was one of the greatest performance I did. Or maybe I just missed dancing that much that's why after the dance, I felt wonderful!

See how chubby I am?hehehe...Can't help it, I love to eat. Anyways, I tried to improvise a cowgirl look. I just bought the belt for P150 and the boots(not visible in this picture) for also P150. Didn't want to spend more than P500 bucks on shoes I won't be using anymore. I love the hat though, courtesy of my cousin Toby. He loved dressing up like a cowboy.

This is take during the disco part. I dance till I dropped. My feet are killing me. Doesn't look like I'm hurting right? If there's a camera, I'd really smile! With Sue, one of the GS night shift chicks.

You see? There are a lot of pretty girls in CallTek. From left: Cheska aka Tadz, Lerah, Me, Sue aka Toto, Drew aka Kai and Aries. The one at the back of Drew is Cheryl, one of my batch mates in CallTek.

Looks like a rave party right? Well no wonder, CallTek's motto: Work hard, party harder.

Still another photograph with Cheska, Drew, Gabby and Sue.

All in all, I had fun! Especially when I danced with my batchmates. Too bad we weren't able to get our batch's picture taken. (reminds me of my cam again!Arrgggg!) We also won 1st prize for the Christmas tree making contest. Thank God our hardwork paid off...

This is our Award winning Christmas Tree.

I realized, I'm still not comfortable with grindin' with a guy... Or could be it depends on who I'm grindin' with. Too embarrassing for me...*blush*

THE AFTER PARTY PARTY?

After the party we decided to continue our dancing @ Vudu. But unfortunately the place is too crowded with preppies that we decided to chill at the resto bar beside Vudu. We tried their food and ordered some cocktails. We got the promo to order 3 cocktails for P200. So we ordered 2 Cosmopolitan and a Mandrin Mandrino. Their Spanish ham was delicious and the rest are A'ok! We went back to Nancy aka Canence's boarding house around 2:45 am. We slept around 3! We were so tired. And my feet are really exhausted.

In the end, its just another company Christmas party...and we move on!

a date with my BF!

Its a great day for me since for the first time in almost 5 months now I went out with my BF - bestfriend Ivy. I can't believe its been that long since we last talked. She went to Japan to visit her mom. She stayed there for 4 months. You might wonder why I refer to her as my bestfriend where in we don't see each other that much, we don't talk that often on the phone and we don't even text that much. But you see there is a bond between us that only we can understand. She's one of the people that I can openly talk to with out hesitation. Why? Because she's one of the rarest non-judgemental human being there is. I mean don't get me wrong, like me she's no angel. She's not perfect and she admits to it. And she's like my sister and well she is my sister. As usual I was left hanging, seemed that the time we spent was not enough. It isn't really and I told her that we should go out more often. She's actually a medtech in Vicente Sotto and she's on the day shift whilst I am on the night shift. But as what our VP said "If you don't have time, make time!"


So from now on, I'll try to make time to be with people that I care about. I'll try to make time for my family which includes my grandmother and my cousins over at Mt. View, probably bring them their pizza before my grandma flies to San Jose for Christmas, I'll make time for my college friends and have long awaited always postponed party, I'll make time for my close friend Glynnee and hangout with her before she also flies to California on the 20th, I'll make time to meet up with my college Philo instructor turned friend and confident, Maje and buy her that Starbucks coffee I promised her, try to make time to hangout with my best guy friend Doyle, make time to go out and eat dinner or lunch with my girls Deanne, Maia and Bernice...And also meet up with John for lunch or dinner...So who did I miss? Can I do all of this before the year ends? I don't know we'll see...


And gosh still got lots of shopping to do. We're supposed to get our 13th month pay today... Money, money, money...Spending it all on my family... Well I'll try to save some! I got financial issues...hahahaha...I'm not too thrifty...


Gotta end this coz we have to go home and get some sleep. Will have dance practice later...see yah...

I'm in over my head....

I'm so sleepy right now that I could barely open my eyes. But its one of those days that my body is tired, my eyes are stingy but my brain chose this day to function and think. My mom told me "You have a lot of things in mind, that is why you can't sleep!" And she was probably right because this after noon a got a whole lotta stuff in my head.

• The GS(out account) dance for the dance contest.
  
• Why my officemate agreed in one of our IM conversations that I am naive and actually praised the heavens when I told him that one of my realizations last Friday night was that I was too naive.
• My costume for our company's Christmas party
• I haven't started buying gift yet and am not sure if I could find the time and energy to do so.
• My date with my bestfriend.
• How to cure this insanity that plagues me again.

This was my post for yesterday...I wasn't able to publish it because I had to rush after my shift. I was so hungry so we dropped by McDonalds before going home....

Sophia...You're a fire I can't put out....

When I thought that it was all over.... Everything began....

How wrong I was to think that I could do anything, to feel nothing and forget everything.How wrong I was to think that if I would immerse myself in work, drown myself with books and music, that I could not even remember that you existed.But no matter how much I tried to evade the thought of you, it seems that I have failed myself again.

Fore in spite of me giving myself 97 days to try not to think, speak and breathe your perseity, in spite some of my few close friends' counsel to distance myself, to try life with somebody else in it, to open myself to all the other possibilities, with just one song --- the very song that I have loved for 3 weeks now--- I am back to falling.

Why do we always have the same regard to music? Why do we like the same songs? We don't listen together, didn't even bother asking you about it but you end up sharing again. Our love for music is the binding force that leads me back to you....

You're like the fire in Nerina Pallot's new single Sophia:



5 o' clock and a fire escape symphony,
Spilling out across the road and the square,
And the sky's the same as your own, do you think of me?
Do the parks, and trees, and the leaves, reach you, there?
After the rain, in the lonely hours he haunts me,
calling out, Again and again.

Sophia, Sophia, I'm burning, I'm burning.
It's a fire, it's a fire, I cannot put out,
Sophia, Sophia, I'm learning that some things,
I can't go without and one of those is him.

And now I walk these streets like a stranger in my home town,
Learn the language, form the words when I speak,
But he changed me, I'm his ghost since he came around,
And now I count the hours and the days in the weeks.

Passion and silence,
Every word, every time, a measure,
It's the science of the soul,
And his books, they breathe a reason and now I want to know...

Sophia, Sophia, I'm burning, I'm burning,
It's a fire, it's a fire, I cannot put out,
Sophia, Sophia, I'm learning that some things,
I can't go without and one of those is him.

You, with your new born eyes,
Have you ever loved a man like I love him?
Do you hurt but still feel alive, like never before?
Oh, Sophia, Sophia.

Sophia, Sophia, I'm burning, I'm burning,
It's a fire, it's a fire, I cannot put out,
Sophia, Sophia, I'm learning that some things,
I can't go without and one of those is him.

Blog 2: Nonchalant things...

I have been listening to tons of music at the office lately...
It wasn't really properly defined whether it was allowed or not allowed but since its one of the things that keeps me alive during my shift even if I have the purple bone pillow Ben gave me 2 Christmases ago at my back, I still keep my head up and face towards the monitor.

My officemates would wonder what I was doing because like last week they were all sleeping on their cubes and I was busy listening to music and reading blogs! At least our VP didn't catch me sleeping in my cube. But the earphone is still plugged to my left ear with my headset also on the other side as he said "What's happening here???!" uh oh! Then he sent an email to everybody...
M E M O R A N D U M mania...

And I'd like to answer Doyle's tag...

No Doyle, its not a guy issue this time...Its more like an issue with myself. YOu know how sometimes even if it seems that you have all the things you need in life, how you still feel empty and lost? Well I just went through that phase lately. Maybe its because I kinda lost track of how much I used to appreciate everything else around me. How I used to be thankful for whatever small blessing I have. I used to be so grateful, making the most of what I have. And that thing about my cousin ignited that questioning in me. She triggered a spark plug in me that got me paranoid for a day or two. But I'm at peace with myself now. I believe I will still encounter these issues but then I know I will fight it through prayers. So anyways Doyle, The GUY, you know who he is, is not the issue...It was me all along...

And I kinda took your advise of not thinking so much of the things people do. Surprisingly I'm back to the music business. With a headset and music match in my computer, I'm good to go.



I'm building rapport with my current team mates... Lately, I've been eating breakfast with my team mates even with our TL. And I didn't regret on going over time last Thursday night coz I had such a good laugh with Jackie and Ryan. Lucky for us it was Thanksgiving in the States so there were less calls. We ended up talking and joking around at our unending bloopers due to being so sleepy...

sample:

BLOOPERS1: instead of "Internet Tech Support, this is Lauren..." I said "Internet Explorer, this is Lauren..."


BLOOPERS2: lately our QA advised to use the first name of the guest in dealing with them, but when we started in this current account, our VP told us to use either Ma'am or Sir... So here goes Ryan, " Can I have your first and last name please, Okay thanks can I call you Paul?...[silence, waiting for approval from guest and guest happily approves]...Yes Sir..."


BLOOPERS3: Jackie asked the guest to pull up the command prompt so that they could get the guest's IP address. So Jackie goes, "Okay click on start, then click on RUN. On the run window type in ipconfig." Then guest on the other line says that windows cant find the path specified. So Jackie tries again saying "Ok type in i-p-c-o-n-f-i-g and then hit Ok button." Guest still says he's receiving an error message. Jackie who's now a bit pissed says, "Alright let's try it again I for india, P for peter...[so on..]." Good thing guest is patient is luckily for Jackie a non-techy kinda guest so the guest just obliged and continued typing in then says he's still receiving the same error message. Jackie who then realized that she's doing it incorrectly, the said "Ok on the run window type in cmd, c for charlie, m for mary and d for delta." The guest said "You didn't tell my that earlier!" So the guest is not that stupid after all...Then Jackie says "I thought I did, so now let type in IPCONFIG on the black window!"...


I know if you read this its not that funny but when were there when two of my officemates told the tale of how they embarrassed themselves in dealing with the guests, you would have laughed your head off! Its really hilarious that I admittedly told mine also.

So I would end my blog again,
with a smile and a light feeling
because I have set free of my inhibitions.