MY WORST NIGHTMARE

I'm having a headache right now and I don't know why. Its still the start of my shift but then I want it to end now. I wanted to go to the hospital and be with my family. My brother was admitted because I found him lying on the restroom floor. I thought he slipped but then when I looked at him he was having a seizure. His fingers were clenched and his eyes rolled upwards and he was like gasping for air. I was in utmost panic, not knowing whether to shake him off or to keep him still till the seizure subsides. It was the most terrifying 60 seconds of my entire life. It was scarier than facing the panel members during our final run for defense, scarier than the ride home with someone drunk taking the wheel. When it ended I helped him up with all my strength and had him lay down on our coach. I called my mom right away because basically I didn't know what to do.

He seemed okay after and he didn't seem to remember what happened saying he just passed out. But the image of what happened keep playing in my mind and it always makes me want to cry. But then I have to be strong for my brother, my mother and my father. I can't show them that I'm scared to death and break down. I insisted on having him checked, get all the tests done just to make sure that he's okay, that he's healthy and that he still have 100 more years to live.

I love my brother eventhough he seems such a pain at times. But he's also fun to be with, he keeps me in pace. We're the same in most aspect, born leader, speaker; talented and artistic; but he exerted more effort in the things that we love. His passion is greater than mine so he had most of the awards. Without either one of my family I would be broken. I would live but then my soul and heart would die.

So ladies and gentleman, there you go. I have simply give away one of my greatest fears:
TO LOSE SOMEONE I LOVE!

My brother is okay now, he's still in the hospital waiting for Monday since he still needs a CAT scan and EEG. Although I really don't know what that is for but basically its to check the brain and its functionality.

I will from now on take care of my brother. Even if he's mean to me sometimes I would master up all my patience, compassion and love to take good care of him!