It has been 2 days after our Batch Retreat...I am at peace with the two people i ignored, avoided and feared...It was better than probably making out with my crush...yeah as if I knew the feeling, unfortunately at 21 I'm still a virgin lips...hahaha...Like Drew said in 50 First dAtes "nothing beats the first kiss"! And so anyway, I told him that I really liked him but you know what, I couldn't bring myself to tell him that I did actually love him...It was hard to say the word love. For me it would seem as if I'm extremely hopeless and void of inspiration. Oh well, the only consolation to my very "Loser" act is that in spite of me crying, I aslo saw tears in his eyes...maybe because of pity, I don't know. I don't actually read minds especially his...after the weeping and feeling of emptiness comes an unexpected candle from my constant bickering buddy!hehehe...didn't expect him to give me one...^_^ and the night ended with a deep realization that "God does exist", that time does heal, that I am not a cynic, that I couldn't stay angry for a very long time and that I am now free of any pain and anger that I tried to eradicate but eventually shadowed my mornings. I was so happy, taking pictures with friends and schoolmates that I ended up gulping the gin my classmate handed over. It was only one shot then I got into the shower before enjoying the night singing and taking more pictures...I even got a great massage from someone unexpected. The following day, with uplifted spirits, I honestly wrote to my batchmates what I actually see in them. Its hard to describe someone in writing, its even harder to listen to all those complements they told me during our "Circle of Life" session where one plays Zacheus and the other Jesus.
^_^bing told me however not think too much of **** but rather enjoy every second I spend with him even if it means putting up with all those stories of girls I know and girls I do not know of, even if it means that I have to keep on retracting every teasing he'll throw at me and even if I lead him to still believe that I like this guy that eventually is way far from the person that he is.
^_^hanging out with him and accepting all that he is makes me realize that I like him even more. He is truly one in a million...
^_^once again I have so much to tell...
^_^once again I have a reason to smile more often than usual...
^_^once again I am urged to write songs...
^_^and finally once again I am slowly believing that God does create wonderful Love stories in HIs time...
Peace out!
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