so its the day for the eve of Christmas (am I right?) and yet i don't feel as if its the holidays...its not like before, 2 days before christmas me and my cousins all gather up in the "big house", baking, wrapping gifts and preparing for whatever it is we're planing to do on christmas eve...but then now, i don't know i feel so empty and unprepared. like its not that special anymore...
maybe its because our family's incomplete...my uncle linus is not around to give us the laughs and cheers, my aunt digna and ping is somewhere in reno diggin their own party...and molly, sweet molly is off having christmas with her new family...it makes me completely sad and lost...
but then again, i should be grateful...Why?because apart from the fact that many of my loved ones left for different reasons, my immediate family is sticking around...my dad still drinks alot but now that im 21, i kinda understand why...i don't question his motives anymore but once again thank God that he still lives despite of the booze and cigarettes...my mom still thinks im this kid who needs to be monitored but if she wasn't doing that i'd definitely be lost...my brother still nags my head off...but then i learned patience from him...what a family huh...oh well...there's still a lot of things to be grateful for...i think im still lucky to have them than having no family at all...
and here i am contemplating on my pathetic lovelife...im not heart broken anymore...i just feel empty...its as if this void exists because it needs to be filled up...and the very person who i think would be the perfect remedy to this crazy loneliness doesn't even seem to care...yes we are friends...are we close, it depends on how you define close! question is: am i smitten? well up to now, i still don't know...why? because up to now i haven't fully understood or found myself in the verge of loving or falling in love...
so my conclusion to all of this is that: well, i must admit i haven't really gotten into that stage of staying in love...yes i have fallen but after a couple of months or weeks even, i'd bounce back to my sanity...
i'll miss him over the christmas break, i'm not sure if we'll communicate!you see im not one of the most important persons in his life...but right now, he's one of mine...^_^
have a very merry christmas everyone and a blessed new year...
love you! mwaah mwaah mwaah
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