Wounds That Heal

I am currently attending a counseling class sponsored by Cebu City Alliance Church. Nope its not a Roman Catholic church but a Christian church. Now how did I ever get to know CCAC? To make the long story short, I was invited by my officemates and August...I know, there's always a connection to him.

After all the devastating weeks I've been through, I thought I could never go back. I thought I would be able to drop everything, move on with my life without so much so as glance back with what I have so far accomplished in terms of my spiritual awakening and growth, with the new friends I've found. But then again, the better part of me reconsidered. I couldn't just turn my back on everything and everyone. They're not part of whatever it is that happened between me and August. They don't deserve to be treated that way...And neither am I...

And so I went back to my class, faced my fears head on and I felt better after wards...

I just want to share this poem with you. It was included in the hand outs our teacher: Pastor Ruel gave us and wonderfully, sincerely read by Ate Rhonda:

I was neurotic for years.
I was anxious and depressed and selfish.
And everyone kept telling me how
neurotic I was.

And I resented them,
and I agreed with them,
and I wanted to change,
but I just couldn't bring myself to change,
no matter how hard I tried.

What hurt the most was that my best friend,
also kept telling me how neurotic I was.
He too kept insisting that I change.

Then one day, he said to me, "Don't change.
Stay as you are. It really doesn't matter
whether you change or not. I LOVE YOU
just as you are, I cannot help loving you."


Those words sounded like music to my ears.
"Don't change. Don't change.
Don't change. ...I LOVE YOU."

And I relaxed. And I came alive.
And, oh wondrous marvel, I changed.

Now I know that I couldn't really
change until I found someone who
would love me whether I change
or not.

Amazing isn't it? It brought tears to my eyes and even though we were talking about wounds that night and it was after all a counseling class, I couldn't somehow still let my classmates see me crying and so thankful that I was wearing glasses, I sniffed and wiped them away.

Today I was there standing, listening to August sing the song "The Promise" by Martin Niviera. Its the second time I've heard him sing that. The first time, my heart leaped but the second, my heart died.

Still I believe that today was better than yesterday and tomorrow would even be much better...by God's grace it'll be!

Buenos Noches!