Looking for a better me

Amidst all the pressure - work: catching up with all the updating of documents, audits, knowledge transfers, conflict with office mates trying to keep my temper afloat, trying not to lose my mind despite all the stupidity floating around - anniversary party preparations: I have again the opportunity to organize a huge event however too much load had placed on my shoulders upon learning that I'll also be part of those who would perform the grand opening number with a theme of MOULIN ROUGE. I know its an old movie but the song and dance combination is fit for our theme. And then there's personal issues. It seems that I'm struggling with all the emotions felt that sometimes I would think if I would be better off not caring. I could be like "The Monster" as what my officemate Bruno calls her. She doesn't care a single bit and I think she's happy. As opposed to me who according to "August" has this super hero complex, tries to help and do as much as I can. My main problem according to him is that I can't say NO. Am I one of those people who wants to please everybody? And so, amidst all these excitement in my life, I realize I should PAUSE, breathe in and out and reflect on who I have become for the past 1 year and 2 months that I have been working in my current company. I have been to places, seen different kinds of personalities, been with different types of crowd and yet I still question who I am now and what my principles are. I'm still searching for the better ME. Could be one of the reasons why this heart hasn't settled yet...As opposed to all those who are getting married next month! Picture below is where I want to disappear to when I can't take it anymore...That would be the most selfish thing I could do...DISAPPEAR TO TRANQUILITY...