we give in sometimes

I had this office mate. She's pretty but stern looking. Every time I look at her and try to smile, I have second thoughts because there's no hint of smile on her face. She's not that friendly, well not as I hoped she would be. She's the only one in her batch I haven't said hi to. But then, her birthday came. Days before that I added most of their batch mates's YM's to my list. And so on her birthday I sent her a message crossing my fingers that she'd reply... And she did!On the way to Mylet's cube to get my lunch I dropped by her cube and said my greetings. Since then, I can officially say she's one of my acquaintance. I thought I would never get the chance to talk to her. I thought I would probably have this feeling of loathing when she's around. But its gone now...We do give in sometimes....

I finally decide to get out of the way. Its hard coz he's always around and people talk. One thing I've learned so far is not to be too trusting. Doyle and I admitted to ourselves that we have lots of acquaintances but not too many true friends. We can never tell who'll stick around to pick up the pieces when you're all down and broken. Weeks before I was stuck with the matter of friendship versus my pride. Friendship versus my feelings. Friendship versus self worth. Heck, he should have treated me differently. I am supposed to be different. I am supposed to be conservative. But I gave in to the idea of me breaking free of my old self. I listened to my cousin's voice: let loose, you're too frigid. And look what it got me. Funny how we often do stupid things before we learn. I gave in, got hurt and bounced back. I need to bounce back, I only have once choice...MOVE FORWARD!

As always, in an environment which is so conducive to change I try to blend in. I coexist. That's they only way to survive the wild jungle. But unlike the call center I worked before, people don't move out that often. And they come in most of the time. We're growing in number and we move a lot depending on the project. And now that I'm moving out of my current project yet to be welcomed in another, I'm filled with excitement. I'm kinda looking forward to it. You should have seen me a month ago. Too hesitant to be transferred, very scared of change. But now, I'm glad they've given me the break. Its up to me now to prove my worth. Wish me luck!





word's from the wise:

Sometimes, you just have to try not to care no matter how much you do.
Because sometimes you mean nothing to someone who means so much to you.
Its not pride, its called self-respect.