Chatted with my friend Karen and she made me realize that its wrong to talk about how I feel for AKBS with her and the rest of my friends since he's also their friend. It would probably be unfair for him if we were talking about him with out him knowing...So I think I should shut up about it...Then again how on earth would I vent out all these feelings and thoughts if I can't even speak about it? But who said I can't write about it....hehehe....
Maybe I should let this go...Once again its a choice between letting it go, meaning forget about the feeling, him, nice memories, of hoping that someday, just maybe someday, he'd realize that I was the one to fill the void he'd been feeling all these years...OR to continue hoping keeping all these feelings to myself praying that it might not fill me up and let me burst.
From now on, I will not speak of him. I will not make an effort in contacting him. I will not let my friends talk me into calling him to be in a dinner we planned. I will not include him in my plans. If I could perhaps find a way to bail in our planned activities I will. I will try my best to avoid connecting the songs that I'm listening to him. I will avoid eating pizza and kublai. I will try to think of somebody else before I go to sleep. I'll try to think of somebody else when I watch a good movie. I will try to think of somebody else while riding the jeepney home. I will not text him or even forward a message to him. I won't erase his number in my phone but I will skip pressing the number 5 twice.
Its a far fetched plan since my life is intertwined with his in most aspects but then I chose to let it go and I should at least try...right?
I told Karen our lives somewhat depicts that of a "telenobela", its full of drama! I never thought I'd live this way... This is probably way out of my league...
I'm supposed to write about something else except this but something triggered the impulse so I had to write it before it slips out of my mind...
Chow!
No comments:
Post a Comment