on chasing cars and eating pizza

All alone on a Sunday afternoon, sitting near the window, I ate Sbarro's supreme stuffed pizza. I put on my headphones and listened to songs while eating lunch in ayala. Once again, I'm all by myself. I think I need to get used to it. Walking alone, eating alone, riding the jeepney alone... Don't get me wrong, I don't think my life is sad or that I am lonely. Its just that I cannot move forth with whatever plans I have if I keep on waiting for a companion right? I mean, I'm the kind of person who can do things with less supervision, with out any companion. I am independent and I love it that way.



So anyway, I listened to EBTG and some random mushy songs in Y101 and KillerBee. I thought of him again and how much fun we had last Saturday. (post about this will follow since I still don't have the pictures). I'm currently reading his book - By the River Piedra I sat down and wept by Paolo Coehlo. It seems that my readings nowadays are all about love and finding love. I love the words and the emotions along with that. I remember someone telling me that I am mushy...hehehe...maybe I am or better yet maybe I am a born romantic...


Then out of the blue, this song played:

"Chasing Cars"

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I remember us walking on a Tuesday evening, on our way back to the boarding house from JCA he told me he liked SNOW PATROL. Then I sang the "you are all that I want" song and he said that its not the same song... I finally heard the song "chasing cars" and once again left at awe at the possibility of him trying to convey a message to me through another song. He sang to me so many times already that the possibility is quite vague. But I as I tried to listen to the song, I let myself go ahead and think of that possibility that he meant every word. I know someone will react on this again (forgive me, I can't help myself, I like him too much to deprive myself of the fantasy). But if this is the only way for me to feel his closeness, his presence in my life, through the songs that he tries to share, every word of the lyrics and every tune of the music played, then I will take it and be grateful that music exists as form of communication between the souls.



See this is the effect of reading too many mushy books and listening to too many mushy songs. I'm full of mushiness....hehehehe...Give me this moment to feel and think and be...For now, its one of the things that makes me happy and contented... I promise I won't let it all get to my head so that someday, when he goes back to dating again, I won't be sad. Mind you, I've never cried for him, not once since I realized that I liked him too much...



Till then...*smiles*