Existencial Angst I

I'm quite lost
On who to trust
The world is full of liars
The world is full of plastics
That it suffocates the truth
Every single word uttered
makes every inch of my body ache
most especially the one in the core
that decides for me most of the time


but then these people are supposed to be wise
much wiser than me
but who can tell really?
who can verify that they are
and attest to their graves
that these people are true
that these people are real
that they can be trusted?


And sometimes I would hate myself
for believing the false pretense
of the kindness and the friendliness
and end up eating the worms
of the backstabbing words
that would someday crush my soul


when will I ever learn
when will I finally build
that wall that protects
my pride, the truth and my heart?


I don't know why I wrote this. Its just that its getting crazier in the office than what I've expected. I guess this would be your dilemma if you're friends with everybody...I mean, maybe because I'm new that is why I'm fitting in to any group there is. I try not to get into other people's business because I don't want hassle, I don't want to get involved in problems that are not mine. But why is it that there always exists that certain politics in the office. I hate it... It ruins the entire "family" facade this company is trying to establish...Well its not a facade but a goal. To unite people. But are we really united? Do the people here really care about being one "family"? That is yet to be seen...


I'm crazy coz I think I miss you...
Its not just the flattery
But I miss your comments
and jokes
Your words that never fail
to put that huge smile on my face
even I'm up my sleeve
trying to keep my patience...
I am crazy...