LOOKING FOR Vanessa!

Lately I've realized that there are still certain aspects that I have that gravely surprises me. I mean I know I've told myself to stop acting on impulse to get myself out of trouble but then there are just those instances wherein, heck, my mind doesn't seem to work and I act right away!

So these are the things I'm trying not to do:

1.)Hold his hand while we are walking
2.)Text him
3.)Call him
4.)Eat icecream or chocolate
5.)Eat Sbarro
6.)check my friendster everyday
7.)think of other people's opinion of ME
8.)day dream
9.)Sleep in the jeepney on the way home
10.) watch too many movies

and so far I'm successful with 1, 3, 5 and 10...the rest, I don't know...hehe...

Yesterday got a good head-knocking from my GYBF(guy bestfriend) Doyle. It was one of those moments when he's the only one that made sense in all the sea of friends I have...If you have read the tags posted on my tagboard doctor Doyle posted something like "you miss you" and when we were chatting during work, I asked if the message was intended for me. He said yes and that I should not be thinking of pleasing other people. I mean don't get me wrong but I'm not trying to please everybody else its just sometimes, I worry myself of what other people are thinking about me. I know, I know... I should not do that to myself! I mean I was sure I know me already. But it doesn't mean that there is no room for improvements right? I mean I have to admit that there are still those tiny bad habbits that always get in the way of somebody else. But for arguments sake, fine I would try to think less of other people's opinion of me and do my own thing in my own terms as long as I won't be hurting somebody else along the way.

I have read Ipay's email and the message sent was:

Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference..

So its not enough for me to say I did my best but also be able to know when to put in extra effort and when not to...

my horoscope for today:

Are you open-minded enough to accept the truth, or are you stubbornly insisting on your way in the face of all the facts? Make things easier on yourself and go for the first option. Let old expectations go.

How perfect, right?hehe...

I'll be leaving for Tacloban today at 4pm and be back hopefully tomorrow evening. I am happy to go there and meet up with my mom's side of relatives but then still sad to note that we only get together if somebody dies. REALITY BITES!

chill for now!