UNDEFINED

We are friends. We are confidantes to each other. He tells me his story and I tell him mine. He leans on my shoulder when his head is aching and I, well I put my chin on his shoulders when I needed mending. We like to eat out, especially during Friday nights, pizza at Acha Pizzeria. We love music very much. He pinches me and I punch him. We do have our own little world sometimes. It's like we're trapped in a bubble. But we are not lovers. NOT yet. So what are we then? He misses me but doesn't say it...He says action speaks louder than words...Would it be the reason why every chance he gets he gives me a hug?Could it be just a brotherly love? Then again...WE don't have a definition and I'd rather not lay down everything just to satisfy gossip! So don't grill me and squeeze the truth out of me because the truth of the matter is, I don't know what we are...All I know is that I want to spend most of my time with him and he seemingly wants to be with me too...Let me just enjoy this...I know you may think I deserve better than this, maybe I do but patience is still a virtue and as what Jasmine keeps on saying: things will unfold eventually but right now, JUST ENJOY!

UNWANTED

Last night we had a talk. And the uncertainty was brought into the table. You were concerned of us hanging out affecting my dating other guys. Come on...I'm not stupid and they are not either. If they really, really like me they would get any chance to be with me regardless of me hanging out with you. I'm sorry if I'm such a hard headed fool but I am not really convinced that you asked that question out of mere concern. If I want to date other guys its my choice and I would have acted on it on my own. Maybe I would need a little help here and there but then again, if they want to be with me, I DARE THEM TO MOVE!

It pisses me off cause I'm trying to understand where we're getting here but all we do is run in circles. And now I get you don't want obligations, responsibilities and commitments. No strings. And you don't believe in relationships. Hello...Wake up friend, FRIENDSHIP itself is a relationship. I guess any bond that you form with another person that would entail you giving your time, effort and money is relationship. Even your dealings with your business associates is a relationship. You are a smart ass but sometimes your notion of things is insensible and stupid. Well don't let me be the judge of that because you are entitled to your own opinion.

I can go on blabbing about all this however this cannot get to you. YOU are not reading my blog.

I'm just so angry right now... KABOOM!

magnet

I can't believe how much I'm drawn to your presence. You don't seduce me, you're not that type. Well what exactly is your type? And besides I'm not easily seduced by looks. There is a possibility for words...but then again it depends...Even if I'm just sitting beside you, I feel safe and loved. Even if you are inches from me, I still feel you how much more than that?

I am sitting here on a Saturday night, listening to Clannad's I will Find You. And I feel my heart burst right this instant.

So what is the difference with this feeling now compared to the feelings I had before YOU?

It feels right.

And I feel that I am ready...It's been years..