I'm working in a CENTER!

As of the moment, I work in a center. Nope, not in a call center but just a center. Where we come here at around 8:30 pm just in time to turn on my computer, open my links, login to my IP phone and for almost 4 hours now, I'm still not receiving a single call. We are paid to surf the net, check our mails, check our friendster, myspace and multiply accounts. We are also paid to have a birthday bash and eat ice cream in the pantry. We are paid to listen to as many mp3s as we want and sometimes is paid to download depending on who you're talking about. What a job, right?

WHY AREN'T WE RECEIVING CALLS?

ANSWER: Earthquake in Taiwan

It was such an unfortunate event that happened because eventhough there were only 2 casualties but call center business here in the Philippines will be gravely affected by the tragedy. My only fear is that due to this we won't be coming in to work; which means we won't have salary. What a crappy thought...

Its almost the end of the year. Have I done enough this year? Am I the same person? or did I change like the tides?

I'll try to answer that in a couple of days...too early for answers, but not too early to be planning for the next year. I have got to start saving...That'll be the priority...The rest follows...

the world is too small for me...

I had nothing to do since finally America decided to celebrate their Christmas and stopped calling for tech support. So once again I browsed through the world wide web and to narrow it down, I browsed through the wide selection of Friendsters.

While I was reading through the testimonials of his relatives, I found out that I have seen his cousins near our place. I think we belong to the same barangay, go to the same Church and well actually bumped into each other several times before. I remember smiling at them thinking that they seem to look so damn familiar. Then I found out that my second degree cousin JP are classmates with his cousin. And weeks before I found out that the cute gay guy who smiled at me during "peace be with you" while I was attending mass with my mom is also his cousin. You see how interconnected I am to his world? How can I try to let go of the notion that we fit in the same world? I know you would tell me again not to think about it but the world is getting smaller and it becomes more complicated on my part.

There is something terribly wrong with the picture now. His sister would text me out of the blue. I'm pretty sure that she has lots of friends to communicate with but then she still remembers to send me a "hello" every now and then. I'm making this such a big deal. But she basically doesn't know anything about me. We just talked in person during his graduation. We do text but still not enough for her to consider me as a friend. Well, don't get me wrong because I am grateful for the bond that I have formed with his sister. Its just seems weird sometimes.

You know when I miss him so much?

--when I hear the songs he likes...
--when I look at the sky and see the stars and remember the saying that we are under the same sky looking at the same moon...
--when I see cool pictures at deviant wanting to share it with him knowing that he loves photography as much as I do...
--when I eat pizza especially if I'm alone thinking how he would have enjoyed the treat...

This is getting way tambien(as per my Canadian chatmate Elmo) -- (too) complicated and weird for me...Can I handle this without going crazy?

anyway...



I enjoyed eating the jelly beans my TL is sharing...Its really yummy and I'm going to add it to my list of favorite foods...yum!

Merry Christmas Darling

I spent my inevitable lonely Year 2006 Christmas at the CallTek office, taking a call and talking to some lady who had trouble connecting to the wireless internet. I thought I won't be getting a call but then boom, 2 minutes before 12 which was supposedly my meal break, my phone rang and the rest is history. The people around me were greeting each other, there are already fireworks outside and my groupies are having picture taking and I was taking a call... Well at that very moment, I felt like crying. It seems like I'm not part of the festivity. Its supposed to be a happy occassion but then I was there, and look at myself and felt sorry for me. I know sound so lame but Christmas for me is one of the most important family gathering. And for the first time, I wasn't there to distribute the gifts, I wasn't there to organize the games, I wasn't there to watch a movie with my cousins and talk till morning light comes. Times change, and time changed me. I know I will be able to cope with this and then I realized the moment passed by.

And I realized that if we dread something so much or we look forward to it, that moment will not be still, time will not freeze and we do move on.

Merry Christmas darling
tried to give you a ring
actually it was two
but I never got to you
Once again I gave my heart away
to a person who seems to have no interest
and I'm left hanging by a thread
holding my expectations abridge
when will I ever learn
when will I ever stop giving away
what is left of my heart on Christmas?

i miss those times...

I went out with my girlfriends Louise and Cathy yesterday... I realized I missed hanging out with them, talking about so many things. If we're together, we can't stop talking. Especially that Cathy, who's now working as a flight attendant for Qatar Airways has been traveling a lot so she(the most talkative of us 3) has a lot of stories to tell.

Our whole afternoon was spent eating and talking. At first Louise and I had lunch at Bigby's. I told her I'll just get a sandwich coz we're absolutely sure that when Cathy arrives, we'll be on our way to Starbucks. When we got our orders got 2 huge slices of twin cheese panini sandwich. O my gosh! And although I don't eat sandwiches in restaurants that much, but that was really yummy. I only ate one slice and then had the other one packed for take out. Cathy arrived shortly and thus begun her tale of both the good and the not so frightening experiences she had on her job. When she speaks she's really animated. hehehe ... I mean she uses her hands and you can really see her expression change as she tells the story. We continued our ramblings at Starbucks. Ian - Louise's boyfriend arrived shortly after we arrived and thus they started the teasing... Lousie's sister, Leah aslo hanged out with us. Here are some pictures...

from left: with Leah, Cathy and Louise @ Starbucks


from left: with Engr. Wilfrid Ian Tan, Cathy and Louise

Cathy's flying back to Doha on the 21st. Like me, she's not spending her Christmas with the family but working probably on plane to India. While I would be spending mine at the office, in my cube taking a call...*sigh*

Well I'll be missing Cathy till she comes home hopefully March of next year in time for Ian and Karl's birthday and our long planned and most awaited trip to Camiguin.

Then we had dinner at Chikaan, a Filipino restaurant near my office. These are the good times, talking and laughing with old friends. Alain(Cathy's boyfriend) and Karl joined us for dinner. I can't believe college years are over but I still get to keep my closest college friends. These people have become my family for the remaining years I struggle through college.

Here's a picture of the guys: from left, Alain, Karl and Ian.


And the girls: from left, me, Cathy and Louise.

Even if I didn't get enough sleep and was 15 minutes late for work at least I get to spend time with my friends and catch up on things. I miss them very much. I'm looking forward to our Christmas dinner and night out. Unfortunately Cathy won't be there. =( =)

Till next time...

My day gets weirder everyday...

I heard mass today and I liked the priest's homily. He was telling this story about a class having an exam in Math. He said most people disliked math. (well I've always liked math even if I almost failed in Differential Calculus!) The teacher told the students that they only have 30 minutes to answer the exam...Such a bummer, 30 minutes won't be enough. But then there was this one student who answered the exam in only 5 minutes. So the teacher asked him "how did you finish the exam in only 5 minutes?" The students said "I turned my head to the right and I saw a man. And so I solved the man and I was able to solve the world!"


At first I thought that the man the student was referring to is Jesus but then when the priest explained, the man is supposed to be ME. He said that we should try to solve ourselves first before trying to conquer the rest of the world. Point taken... But then he also said that in trying to figure out who we are, we lose ourselves in the process. And that's such a sad thought. But that's the reason why we need to PRAY. To be guided and enlightened in the journey of searching for who we really are. It is only by faith that we survive the perils of finding our true identity.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
he1 told me:
i never knew, i never knew that everything was falling thru...

so I asked:
what is it exactly that he2 told you about me?

he1 told me:
secret...i won't tell on him...

so I let the topic go...

when I got home, ready to sleep, he2 called...

he2 said:
let's have breakfast at tiffany's...

then I said:
thanks for the invite. but i already ate mine...sorry...

he2 said:
no biggie...

but he2 didn't say there was always a next time...that was it...

Then I ask myself: Is it always this complicated? Like do we always have to play cat and mouse in pursuing a person?

You would ask: Do you like him?

I would probably answer: I don't know, not yet...I could like him...

So I say there is always room for a possibility but the possibility flew even before it begun...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let Loose...

We had our company party last night and unfortunately for me, days before, I learned from my brother that our digi cam is not working. I didn't get the chance to had it fixed since I'm caught up with work and doing a panic shopping for our costume and my gift for our chris cringle for the company and manito manita for out batch. So I missed the night's fun of taking pictures and letting lose of the aspiring photographer in me... But then again here are some photos taken by my officemate JP!

These are some of the GS(GlobalSuite) Señoritas. We won 2nd place for the CallTek signature dance contest. For me, it was one of the greatest performance I did. Or maybe I just missed dancing that much that's why after the dance, I felt wonderful!

See how chubby I am?hehehe...Can't help it, I love to eat. Anyways, I tried to improvise a cowgirl look. I just bought the belt for P150 and the boots(not visible in this picture) for also P150. Didn't want to spend more than P500 bucks on shoes I won't be using anymore. I love the hat though, courtesy of my cousin Toby. He loved dressing up like a cowboy.

This is take during the disco part. I dance till I dropped. My feet are killing me. Doesn't look like I'm hurting right? If there's a camera, I'd really smile! With Sue, one of the GS night shift chicks.

You see? There are a lot of pretty girls in CallTek. From left: Cheska aka Tadz, Lerah, Me, Sue aka Toto, Drew aka Kai and Aries. The one at the back of Drew is Cheryl, one of my batch mates in CallTek.

Looks like a rave party right? Well no wonder, CallTek's motto: Work hard, party harder.

Still another photograph with Cheska, Drew, Gabby and Sue.

All in all, I had fun! Especially when I danced with my batchmates. Too bad we weren't able to get our batch's picture taken. (reminds me of my cam again!Arrgggg!) We also won 1st prize for the Christmas tree making contest. Thank God our hardwork paid off...

This is our Award winning Christmas Tree.

I realized, I'm still not comfortable with grindin' with a guy... Or could be it depends on who I'm grindin' with. Too embarrassing for me...*blush*

THE AFTER PARTY PARTY?

After the party we decided to continue our dancing @ Vudu. But unfortunately the place is too crowded with preppies that we decided to chill at the resto bar beside Vudu. We tried their food and ordered some cocktails. We got the promo to order 3 cocktails for P200. So we ordered 2 Cosmopolitan and a Mandrin Mandrino. Their Spanish ham was delicious and the rest are A'ok! We went back to Nancy aka Canence's boarding house around 2:45 am. We slept around 3! We were so tired. And my feet are really exhausted.

In the end, its just another company Christmas party...and we move on!

a date with my BF!

Its a great day for me since for the first time in almost 5 months now I went out with my BF - bestfriend Ivy. I can't believe its been that long since we last talked. She went to Japan to visit her mom. She stayed there for 4 months. You might wonder why I refer to her as my bestfriend where in we don't see each other that much, we don't talk that often on the phone and we don't even text that much. But you see there is a bond between us that only we can understand. She's one of the people that I can openly talk to with out hesitation. Why? Because she's one of the rarest non-judgemental human being there is. I mean don't get me wrong, like me she's no angel. She's not perfect and she admits to it. And she's like my sister and well she is my sister. As usual I was left hanging, seemed that the time we spent was not enough. It isn't really and I told her that we should go out more often. She's actually a medtech in Vicente Sotto and she's on the day shift whilst I am on the night shift. But as what our VP said "If you don't have time, make time!"


So from now on, I'll try to make time to be with people that I care about. I'll try to make time for my family which includes my grandmother and my cousins over at Mt. View, probably bring them their pizza before my grandma flies to San Jose for Christmas, I'll make time for my college friends and have long awaited always postponed party, I'll make time for my close friend Glynnee and hangout with her before she also flies to California on the 20th, I'll make time to meet up with my college Philo instructor turned friend and confident, Maje and buy her that Starbucks coffee I promised her, try to make time to hangout with my best guy friend Doyle, make time to go out and eat dinner or lunch with my girls Deanne, Maia and Bernice...And also meet up with John for lunch or dinner...So who did I miss? Can I do all of this before the year ends? I don't know we'll see...


And gosh still got lots of shopping to do. We're supposed to get our 13th month pay today... Money, money, money...Spending it all on my family... Well I'll try to save some! I got financial issues...hahahaha...I'm not too thrifty...


Gotta end this coz we have to go home and get some sleep. Will have dance practice later...see yah...

I'm in over my head....

I'm so sleepy right now that I could barely open my eyes. But its one of those days that my body is tired, my eyes are stingy but my brain chose this day to function and think. My mom told me "You have a lot of things in mind, that is why you can't sleep!" And she was probably right because this after noon a got a whole lotta stuff in my head.

• The GS(out account) dance for the dance contest.
  
• Why my officemate agreed in one of our IM conversations that I am naive and actually praised the heavens when I told him that one of my realizations last Friday night was that I was too naive.
• My costume for our company's Christmas party
• I haven't started buying gift yet and am not sure if I could find the time and energy to do so.
• My date with my bestfriend.
• How to cure this insanity that plagues me again.

This was my post for yesterday...I wasn't able to publish it because I had to rush after my shift. I was so hungry so we dropped by McDonalds before going home....

Sophia...You're a fire I can't put out....

When I thought that it was all over.... Everything began....

How wrong I was to think that I could do anything, to feel nothing and forget everything.How wrong I was to think that if I would immerse myself in work, drown myself with books and music, that I could not even remember that you existed.But no matter how much I tried to evade the thought of you, it seems that I have failed myself again.

Fore in spite of me giving myself 97 days to try not to think, speak and breathe your perseity, in spite some of my few close friends' counsel to distance myself, to try life with somebody else in it, to open myself to all the other possibilities, with just one song --- the very song that I have loved for 3 weeks now--- I am back to falling.

Why do we always have the same regard to music? Why do we like the same songs? We don't listen together, didn't even bother asking you about it but you end up sharing again. Our love for music is the binding force that leads me back to you....

You're like the fire in Nerina Pallot's new single Sophia:



5 o' clock and a fire escape symphony,
Spilling out across the road and the square,
And the sky's the same as your own, do you think of me?
Do the parks, and trees, and the leaves, reach you, there?
After the rain, in the lonely hours he haunts me,
calling out, Again and again.

Sophia, Sophia, I'm burning, I'm burning.
It's a fire, it's a fire, I cannot put out,
Sophia, Sophia, I'm learning that some things,
I can't go without and one of those is him.

And now I walk these streets like a stranger in my home town,
Learn the language, form the words when I speak,
But he changed me, I'm his ghost since he came around,
And now I count the hours and the days in the weeks.

Passion and silence,
Every word, every time, a measure,
It's the science of the soul,
And his books, they breathe a reason and now I want to know...

Sophia, Sophia, I'm burning, I'm burning,
It's a fire, it's a fire, I cannot put out,
Sophia, Sophia, I'm learning that some things,
I can't go without and one of those is him.

You, with your new born eyes,
Have you ever loved a man like I love him?
Do you hurt but still feel alive, like never before?
Oh, Sophia, Sophia.

Sophia, Sophia, I'm burning, I'm burning,
It's a fire, it's a fire, I cannot put out,
Sophia, Sophia, I'm learning that some things,
I can't go without and one of those is him.